What is your favorite chess quote?

but in steinitz defense i have to say that he couldnt possibly know that the monkeys would take over the world.

I read this somewhere but im telling it off a really foggy memory. As a GM was traveling to a tournament he was stopped on the road by a border partol guard and when asked the GM said he was headed to a tournament to play against other chess masters the officer felt he was lying so the GM proposed they have a game and to the GM shock the random officer actually  outplayed him and the let him go arcoss with the statement "you may go across but dont tell lies like that" not a qoute by its still my favorite mini chess story.

lol

Just saw a sign in store today:

"Love is like Chess. One false move, and you're MATED."

you sound like a very dangerous stalker ;) just kidding ofc

I found this on wikipedia and I thought it was kinda cool.

Journalist:   It might be inconvenient to interrupt our profound discussion and change the subject slightly, but I would like to know whether extraneous, abstract thoughts ever enter your head while playing a game?

Tal:   Yes. For example, I will never forget my game with GM Vasiukov on a USSR Championship. We reached a very complicated position where I was intending to sacrifice a knight. The sacrifice was not obvious; there was a large number of possible variations; but when I began to study hard and work through them, I found to my horror that nothing would come of it. Ideas piled up one after another. I would transport a subtle reply by my opponent, which worked in one case, to another situation where it would naturally prove to be quite useless. As a result my head became filled with a completely chaotic pile of all sorts of moves, and the infamous "tree of variations", from which the chess trainers recommend that you cut off the small branches, in this case spread with unbelievable rapidity.
And then suddenly, for some reason, I remembered the classic couplet by Korney Ivanović Chukovsky: "Oh, what a difficult job it was. To drag out of the marsh the hippopotamus".^[21]

I do not know from what associations the hippopotamus got into the chess board, but although the spectators were convinced that I was continuing to study the position, I, despite my humanitarian education, was trying at this time to work out: just how WOULD you drag a hippopotamus out of the marsh? I remember how jacks figured in my thoughts, as well as levers, helicopters, and even a rope ladder.
After a lengthy consideration I admitted defeat as an engineer, and thought spitefully to myself: "Well, just let it drown!" And suddenly the hippopotamus disappeared. Went right off the chessboard just as he had come on ... of his own accord! And straightaway the position did not appear to be so complicated. Now I somehow realized that it was not possible to calculate all the variations, and that the knight sacrifice was, by its very nature, purely intuitive. And since it promised an interesting game, I could not refrain from making it.

And the following day, it was with pleasure that I read in the paper how Mikhail Tal, after carefully thinking over the position for 40 minutes, made an accurately calculated piece sacrifice.

— Mikhail Tal, The Life and Games of Mikhail Tal.

Like he could have resisted playing that sac, with a gun to his head.

There was a GM who played another GM and the other GM had a difficult decision take between to moves but he still took 50 minutes or so for making the move. After the game he asked the other GM:"why did you think so long for a move that you could have calculated in 15 minutes??"

the other GM replied:" i was thinking what would have happened if i had made another move 3 moves earlier"

Or his sense of humor...got to see him play here in LA in the 80's along with Bronstein, Larsen, Reshevsky, and others at the US Open.

omg I thought I was the only who did this I dont know why I do it.

Always try your best- djd123

Sorry to hear about that...a permanent solution to a temporary problem is not the answer.

Don't be too sorry, it's not true. He's alive and kicking.

Chess is a substitute for life itself. - David Spanier

Who's Emo?

This seems like a hoax, hmm, I'm a border patrol officer, I guess I have time for 1 game...

*cars honk loudly as they attempt to cross the border as the officer and the grandmaster sit still*

"Shut up, I'm testing to see if this guy is a grandmaster, but I'll let him in regardless!"

Good so I can make fun of his hair then, yay!

A weird comedian with weird hair or an extinct bird with equally weird hair.   Either way.

Um, emus are no more extinct than emo is dead.

I'm wrong again?  Too much wine.