Worst Thing To Do On Your First Move

Did you mean, "Wear your birthday suit" or do you actually talk to your birthday suit - such as, "[I will] wear you, birthday suit."

Yeah, but if you got the little guy out of there, you'd probably be able to hear the chess pieces talking to you, at least. And you could always sell the earwax and use the money to buy a much smaller piece of earwax.

spot the mustake:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8045773485784758735837q475-734y523582375489237y 9 10

I think it's the U in 'mustake'.

Try for a stalemate.

Say la la la and get disqualified with a $23500 fine.

61. Got banned for looking at your opponent

62. Got a sudden nosebleed and bled all over the board.

63. Play 1.f3 instead of 1.Nf3 (happens to me way to often!).

f3 is an opening though

64. Play crazyhouse instead of regular

65. reach for my opponent's Queen

*epic reaction*

66. Accidentally touch your king on move one so then you had to take your own king with your queen

67. Choke and sound like you're cussing so you got banned from chess for 2000 years

King to eye2... Poke his eye with your King... 

Visit the rest room and leave this message... 

Ask your opponent to explain to you how the horse moves.

74. Walk on the table and sit on your opponent

75) The night moves from East to West.... .....  Sorry that's  the day...  um...  I mean the sun...