I understand where you are coming from with regard to your particular case, however the auto-moderator is merely an algorithm that has no conception of discretion. If your proposed alteration were implemented generally, wouldn't that just allow the haters (racists, sexists, neo-Nazis etc.) more scope to abuse the system (three times before kicking)?
I think it's probably best to leave the standard where it is and in future to watch what you type..... after all, the auto-moderator did a good job, in that it made you re-evaluate exactly what you say. No real harm was done, older and wiser.
I don't think the filter should kick automatically. There was a discussion about Bobby Fischer, I posted on of his anti-semitic quotes (oh, there were a lot of them...) and got kicked immidietely. I don't really mind the kick itself, but find it a bit humiliating. I do not identify with his views in any way, I was just quoting him to show Bobby wasn't as awesome as he's presented.
Looking back, quoting that kind of language in live chess isn't a good idea. However, I thought there was a three-strikes rule-I don't feel kicking without warning is fair.