Go ahead: leave me a joke. I can always use a laugh...
One collection of chess jokes is at http://www.chess.com/article/view/chess-jokes
"The police are not here to create disorder. They are here to preserve disorder."
—Chicago Mayor Richard J. Daley during the 1968 Democratic National Convention
"I shall not today attempt further to define the kinds of material I understand to be embraced within that shorthand description ["hard-core pornography"]; and perhaps I could never succeed in intelligibly doing so. But I know it when I see it."
—Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart
"We have met the enemy, and he is us."
"Freedom of the press is guaranteed only to those who own one."
—A. J. Liebling