HomerSimpson
Joined
May 8, 2019
Last Online
12 hrs ago
Views
1,508
Followers
960
Points
22,771

"I wish God were alive to see this."


"I believe that children are our future. Unless we stop them now."


"Volunteering is for suckers. Did you know that volunteers don't even get paid for the stuff they do?"


"I’ve learned that life is one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead."


"A gun is not a weapon, it's a tool, like a hammer or a screwdriver or an alligator."


"Stupidity got us into this mess, and stupidity will get us out."


"Trying is the first step towards failure."


"If it doesn't have Siamese twins in a jar, it is not a fair."


"If God didn't want me to eat chicken in church, then he would have made gluttony a sin."


"Kids are great. You can teach them to hate what you hate and, with the Internet and all, they practically raise themselves."


“Operator! Give me the number for 911!”


“If he’s so smart, how come he’s dead?”


“Marge, you know it’s rude to talk when my mouth is full.”