Police: Where do you live?
Me: With my parents. 
Police: Where do your parents live?
Me: With me. 
Police: Where do you all live?
Me: Together.
Police: Where is your house?
Me: Next to my neighbor's house.
Police: Where is your neighbor's house? 
Me: You won't believe me if I tell you.
Police: Tell me!
Me: Next to my house. 
10 facts I know about you
1. You are reading this
2. You realize this is a stupid fact 
4. You didn't notice I skipped 3
5. You're checking now
6. You're smiling 
7. You're still reading this even though it's stupid 
9. You didn't notice I skipped 8
10. You laugh about how you fell for it again. 
11. You're enjoying this. 
12. You are still reading this
13. You forgot it is only supposed to be 10 facts.
Neville Longbottom: I just realized that never is a contraction of not ever
Harry Potter: Yeah, and blush is a contraction of blood rush
Ron Weasley: And studying is a contraction of student dying 
Hermione Granger: . . . 
Impossibilities of the world
1. You can't count your hair unless you're bald
2. You can't wash your eyes with soap 
3. You can't breath with your tongue out
Put your tongue back in, you fool. You look like a dog.
Teacher: Why didn't you study?
Me: A year has 365 days for you to study. After taking away 52 Sundays, there are only 313 days left. There are 50 days in the summer that are way too hot to work so there are only 263 days left. We sleep 8 hours a day, in a year, that counts up to 122 days so now we're left with 141 days. If we fooled around for only 1 hour a day, 15 days are gone, so we are left with 126 days. We spend 2 hours eating each day, 30 days are used in this way in the year, and we are left with 96 days in our year. We spend 1 hour a day speaking to friends and family, that takes away 15 days more and we are left with 81 days. Exams and tests take up at least 35 days in your year; hence you are only left with 46 days. Taking off approximately 40 days of holidays, you are only left with 6 days. Say you are sick for a minimum of 3 days; you're left with 3 days in the year to study! Let's say you only go out for 2 days... You're left with 1 day. But that 1 day is your birthday. That is why I did not study. 
Teacher: Class dismissed. 
Teacher: Why do I hear people talking?
Me: Because you have ears. 
Teacher: You did not complete your homework. 
Me: You did not mark my quiz. 
Teacher: I have other student's quizzes to mark. 
Me: I have other teachers that gave me homework. 
Funny Roses Are Red Poems
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I've got five fingers 
The middle one is for you
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Sugar is sweet
And so are you
But the roses are wilting
The violets are dead
The sugar bowl's empty
And so is your head
Roses are red
Bugs make me itch
If you were any ruder
I'd call you a... well... figure out for yourself: b_tch
Roses are red
Violets are blue
She's for me
Not for you
If by chance
You take my place
I'll take my fist
And smash your face
Roses are red
That much is true
But violets are purple
Not freaking blue
Aaaaand now let us use this for what it's actually supposed to be used for: About me. 
I bet most of you would turn around and read other peoples about me when you read that sentence.
Gender: Male
Birthdate: November 10th, 2008
Age: Do some math for once, you laze head
Country: China
Country I live In: Canada
Motto: lul
Comment that earned me point 10K: "Aight you pick up the key...  It's the same color as rice's box"
Favourite Quotes (some of them are from books)
"There is no good or evil. There is only power, and those too weak to seek it" -Lord Voldemort/Quirinus Quirrell, Harry Potter and the Philosophers Stone
"Evil likes darkness, because evil likes to hide." -Ruth Sorenson, Fablehaven
"See the power emotion has to disorient our outlook? Makes you wonder, did you have a bad day, or did you make it a bad day?" -Tanugatoa Dufu, Fablehaven Rise of the Evening Star
"What's coming will come, and we'll meet it when it does." -Rubeus Hagrid, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix 
"I'm a lazy @ss" - @whisper2016 (but with and actual a instead of @)
 "Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn." –Benjamin Franklin
"I've never really appreciated how hard running a KOTL is."
"You are born to die, and along the way make the world you will not live in a better place."
"chill, man. no yelling, not even for the first letter"
"Thats why you don't give caps lock to kids."
"Speed is the key to bughouse."
"Wouldn't bughouse just be so much easier if people looked in the chat?"
"If you look back too much, you can't see where your going."
Adopted by:
None XD
My greatest wonder:
What would happen if 2 people died in fortnite at the exact same time? The last 2 people would both be low, on a platform high above another platform. Another person would be on another platform, then break it with their pickaxe. Then, as their falling, they would shoot the low-health platform that the 2 people were on, and they would start falling. The person who shot the platform would die of fall damage, then the 2 people who were on the platform that was shot would fall onto another platform, therefore dying at the same time. The reason I didn't make it so that one person tossed a grenade or one person on the platform broke the platform is that the person who killed both of them might get the victory royale. So there. 2 people die at the same time. Would would happen? A drawroyale?
Also, my brain is partially a computer. You should keep that in mind. 
Thank you if you've gotten this far.
Bᴜʟʟʏɪɴɢ? Tʜɪɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ sᴏ ᴄᴏᴏʟ? -Tʜᴇ ɢɪʀʟ ʏᴏᴜ ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴄᴀʟʟᴇᴅ ғᴀᴛ?... Sʜᴇ ɪs ᴏɴ A Diet. -Tʜᴇ ɢɪRʟ ʏᴏᴜ ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴄᴀʟʟᴇᴅ ᴜɢʟʏ?... Sʜᴇ sᴘᴇɴᴅs ʜᴏᴜʀs ᴘᴜᴛᴛɪɴɢ ᴍᴀᴋᴇᴜᴘ ᴏɴ ʜᴏᴘɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴡɪʟʟ ʟɪᴋᴇ ʜᴇʀ. -Tʜᴇ ʙᴏʏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛrɪpped? Hᴇ ɪs ᴀʙᴜsᴇᴅ ᴇɴᴏᴜɢʜ ᴀᴛ ʜᴏᴍᴇ. - Sᴇᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴍᴀɴ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇ ᴜɢʟʏ sᴄᴀʀs?... Hᴇ ғᴏᴜɢʜᴛ ғᴏʀ ʜɪs ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛʀʏ. - Tʜᴀᴛ ɢᴜʏ ʏoᴜ ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ғᴜɴ ᴏғ ғᴏʀ ᴄʀʏɪɴɢ?... Hɪs ᴍᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ɪs ᴅʏɪɴɢ. - Tʜᴀᴛ ᴋɪᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ғᴜɴ ᴏғ ғᴏʀ ʙᴇɪɴɢ ʙᴀʟᴅ?...Hᴇ ʜᴀs ᴄᴀɴᴄᴇʀ. - Pᴜᴛ ᴛʜɪs ɪn your profile ɪғ ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ᴀɢᴀɪɴsᴛ ʙᴜʟʟʏɪɴɢ. I ʙᴇᴛ ᴍᴏsᴛ ᴏғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴏɴ'ᴛ ʀᴇ-ᴘᴏsᴛ , ʙᴜᴛ I'ᴍ sᴜʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴀ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ ᴡill.
As you all know, bullying is a problem in this world. When I put this in my profile, it was small, but now it is spreading. See how much one single person can do? Take action against bullying. Also, I didn't invent it, but I was thinking of doing something like this when I found this in another user's profile. 
Previously: dianbing