Dec 29, 2008
Last Online
Dec 25, 2020



 I am not responsible for any damage, mental or physical, caused by overexposure to dangerously high levels of pure awesomeness while viewing my profile. 

About me:


I have the work ethic and foresight of a 5 year old, with the cynicism and senility of a 75 year old.

I consider myself neither an optimist nor a pessimist. I try to see things as they truly are, without any light, good or bad, shining unto them. The cup contains 118.294118 mililiters of water, and 118.294118 milliliters of air.

Placing oneself before others is greed. Placing others before oneself is morality. Placing others equal to oneself is reason.

"I am oinquarki. I was in a crossword puzzle once. This is my cat. I need no passport."

The USCF rating above is seriously inflated. Really I'm more like 1500-1600.

Fact: I hear voices that nobody else hears.

Conclusion: I have very good ears.


 Breaking news; oinquarki not an idiot, mod says

RetGuvvie claims that his statement represents only his personal opinion, and not that of the management, who have still not disclosed their position on whether or not I'm an idiot. Stay tuned as the story develops.

My philosophy: 

"The human mind is far too stupid an environment for brilliant ideas to originate within it. Therefore one must venture out of one's mind in order to find them."

"You don't make your decisions; Your decisions make you."

"If you've lived for nothing, you'll die for it too."

"Ideologies exist not to dictate action, but to justify it."

 I believe in evolution:

An awesome video:

 I get asked this so much I may as well put it on my profile:

San Diego is America's Finest City


My best game:

My motto:

"When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. When life gives you lemonade, it's probably pee."

Now enough reading my profile!


Garry Kasparov says:

"Go play 1. e4!"