New Content: ***Evidence File: Top Secret***

RAISING AWARENESS OF THE SPOONMAKING PROCESS

I joined chess.com at the beginning of 2010 to raise awareness of the ancient and wonderful craft of Spoonmaking. My family have been Spooners since 1412, and have made Spoons exclusivly for Royal families around the globe, including the English Queen, Bono and the Kennedy Clan (some are pictured below)

On this page I will provide exciting insight into the highly skilled craft that is Spoonmaking, we hope you find it utterly fascinating, and please leave a note to the right with any questions you may have.

INGREDIENTS

The exact formula for the alloy we use for our Spoons is, alas, top secret. At any one time, only the head Spoonmaker knows the formula. This of course means that we run the risk of the craft dying out should he (to date the head Spoonmaker has always been a man) meet an untimely end. We do have *exclusive* permission to reveal that the following ingredients are used in the process:

SPOONEROMICS

People often ask me if I can forge them a customised Spoon. Unfortunatly we operate under strict rules and regulations regarding the Supply of our Spoons. As nobody else has the knowledge and skills we have, Spooner Inc is able to manipulate our monopoly position to gain the best prices for ourselves. We thus achieve a similar position of supernormal profit, akin to the achievements of the oil cartel OPEC.

We also carefully manage our customer base to ensure only the rich, famous and great can own our Spoons, further enhancing the market conditions for ourselves when we release each vintage. The market situation is simply the classic monopoly situation, nothing more and nothing less. Spooner Inc keeps the area of profit between Qm and Qc - we reinvest this in research into new Spoontypes (for example PFD's Crack Spoon blueprint cost approximately $100m US).

THE SPOONERY

This is where the Spooner magic happens. The Spoonery has been lit since 1412 - even when the Master Spoonmaker hibernates overwinter, minions are hired to keep the furnace going. It burns at around 1,000,000 degrees C. As you can see it is an ancient, but impressive device:

SPOONMAKING - THE FINAL TOUCH

It is a little known fact that the finest spoons are finished using a process known as "Cat-Conditioning". A number of different felines are used:

Here we see the first stage of the cleaning process - introducing a special wax:

The Spoons then pass through subsequent stages of polishing until they get to the final stage. We breed these cats for their special Saliva. They are fed on furniture polish and crickets:

CUSTOMER SUPPORT: DELIVERY AND MAINTENANCE

We provide a full lifetime service and maintenance pack using our own private jets, and a fleet of specially commissioned Bugatti Calibers. These vehicles are capable of between 225 and 230 miles per hour, speeds we regularly achieve when rushing spoons in for an emergency service. We have special dispensation in most European and US countries to disregard national speed limits in order that we can offer the service expected of Spooner INC.

Video of test drive of the 3 door version, (we paid extra to design a "Sedan" as you Amercians would say). We hit a mere 227mph here on the public road:

THE SPOONERY: ENTERTAINMENT - AUDIO & MUSIC

A little music we sometimes play in the Spoonery - we have a rather nice Quad monoblock system as shown below, which, of course, is fully valve based:

Thanks for reading!

REMEMBER:

WillSpooner