The details of my life are quite inconsequential......... Very well, where should i begin? My Father was a relentlessly self-improving disco ball salesman from Timbuktu with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for elephant training. My mother was a 18 year old Saudi Arabian acrobat named Steve with webbed feet. My father would knit, he would drink, he would make outragous claims like he invented Michael Schumacher. Sometimes he would accuse Tim Curry of being lazy, The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Cambodia, bobsleigh lessons in Jamaica. In the spring we'd make taxedermied South American capybara and sell then to the local dustbin men. When i was insolent, i was placed in a Adidas bag and beaten with snails. Pretty standard really. At the age of 12 I recieved my first scribe. At the age of 14 a Masi Mara tribesman named Tarquin the Elder ritualistically shaved my eyebrows. There really is nothing like shorn eyebrows...... its breathtaking...... I suggest you try it.
Well that just me I guess. Now I play chess!
Recently I have returned to university to complete a PhD in Tomfoolery… however my best friend Tom Foolery was not too happy with this so I have changed my major to the life and times of Wayne Rooney. Hopefully when I finish this course I will be able to get a full time job as an architect or something similar… maybe a fisherman.
Watch this space…