Rilliad

Bye everyone

Background by @tigerchess2022

Rickroll from Tenor.com. Wait what?

Great, funny, and meaningful Calvin and Hobbes quotes:

buckle up, there’s a lot of them.

“If ignorance is bliss, this lesson would appear to be a deliberate attempt on your part to deprive me of happiness, the pursuit of which is my unalienable right according to the Declaration of Independence. I, therefore, assert my patriotic prerogative not to know this material. I’ll be out on the playground.” – Calvin

“Everybody seeks happiness! Not me, though! That’s the difference between me and the rest of the world. Happiness isn’t good enough for me! I demand euphoria!” – Calvin

“As you can see, I have memorized this utterly useless piece of information long enough to pass a test question. I now intend to forget it forever. You’ve taught me nothing except how to cynically manipulate the system. Congratulations.” – Calvin

“Sometimes, I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.” – Calvin

Calvin: “Here’s an ad for a new gum called Hyperbubble. It says, ‘If you’re not chewing Hyperbubble, you might as well be chewing your cud.’ Ooh, great copy! Wow, am I cool enough to chew Hyperbubble? Maybe I’m not. Maybe if you chew Hyperbubble, you become cool! Or maybe if you chew it, everybody assumes you’re cool, so it doesn’t matter if you are or not. What do you think? Should I buy some?” 

Hobbes: “If your emotional security depends on satisfying a need you didn’t have before you read the ad, go ahead.”

“It’s true, Hobbes. Ignorance is bliss! Once you know things, you start seeing problems everywhere. And once you see problems, you feel like you ought to fix them. And fixing problems always seems to require personal change. And change means doing things that aren’t fun! I say phooey to that!” – Calvin

“Becoming an adult is probably the dumbest thing you can ever do!” – Calvin

“Well, remember what you said, because, in a day or two, I’ll have a witty and blistering retort! You’ll be devastated then.” – Calvin

”We’re no strangers to love, you know the rules and so do I. A full commitments what I’m thinking of, you wouldn’t get this from any other guy. I just wanna tell you how I’m feeling, gotta make you understand. Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run round and, desert you. Never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye, never gonna tell a lie and hurt you” - Rick Astley

Hobbes: “Do you have an idea for your story yet?”

Calvin: “No, I’m waiting for inspiration. You can’t just turn on creativity like a faucet. You have to be in the right mood.”

Hobbes: “What mood is that?”

Calvin: “Last-minute panic.”

“I’m not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.” – Calvin

Calvin’s Mom: “Fifteen people in line and the teller goes on break without a replacement. After I wait 10 minutes, they open a new line for all the people behind me who have waited 2 minutes. I’m waiting to pay, and the cashier puts me on hold instead of the person on the telephone.”

Cashier: “Have a nice day.”

Calvin’s Mom: “Too late.”

“It must be awful to be a girl. I’m sure it’s frustrating knowing that men are bigger, stronger, and better at abstract thought than women. Really, if you’re a girl, what would make you go on living?” – Calvin

“Somewhere in communist Russia, I’ll bet there’s a little boy who has never known anything but censorship and oppression. But maybe he’s heard about America, and he dreams of living in this land of freedom and opportunity! Someday, I’d like to meet that little boy and tell him the awful truth about this place!” – Calvin

“As the wage earner here, it’s your responsibility to show some consumer confidence and start buying things that will get the economy going and create profits and employment. Here’s a list of big-ticket items I’d like for Christmas. I hope I can trust you to do what’s right for our country.” – Calvin 🤣🤣🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️

“See, on the front it says, ‘Get well soon,’ and on the inside, it says, ‘Because my bed isn’t made, my clothes need to be put away and I’m hungry. Love, Calvin.’ Want to sign it?” – Calvin

Hobbes: “It says here that by the age of six, most children have seen a million murders on television.”

Calvin: “I find that very disturbing! It means I’ve been watching all the wrong channels.”

Caller: “May I speak with your father, please?”

Calvin: “Heck, you don’t need my permission! Be my guest! What a weirdo.”

“The problem about the future is that it keeps turning into the present.” – Calvin

“People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don’t realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.” – Calvin

“I’m thinking of starting my own talk radio show. I’ll spout simplistic opinions for hours on end, ridicule anyone who disagrees with me, and generally foster divisiveness, cynicism, and a lower level of public dialogue!” – Calvin

“It used to be that if a client wanted something done in a week, it was considered a rush job, and he’d be lucky to get it. Now, with modems, faxes, and car phones, everybody wants everything instantly! Improved technology just increases expectations. These machines don’t make life easier—they make life more harassed.” – Calvin’s Dad

“There would be more civility in this world if people didn’t take it as an invitation to walk on you.” – Calvin’s Mom

Calvin: “I’ve been thinking, Hobbes.”

Hobbes: “On a weekend?” 

Calvin: “Well, it wasn’t on purpose.”

“I wish I had more friends, but people are such jerks. If you can just get most people to leave you alone, you’re doing good. If you can find even one person you really like, you’re lucky. And if that person can also stand you, you’re really lucky.” – Calvin

“I wonder what people knew before there were magazine quizzes.” – Hobbes

“The problem with people is that they’re only human.” – Hobbes

Congratulations!! You made it to the end! Your prize is seeing a great joke:

yeah, I got dared to put put 3 rickrolls in my bio XP