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The Open File - Chess is Crazy

  • NM Zug
  • | Feb 16, 2010
  • | 5227 views
  • | 8 comments

The Open File

by Life Master Mike Petersen (Zug)

Chess Is a Crazy Game

This from the "... and you thought Bobby Fischer was crazy ..." department:  one day in 1988 Peter Jennings on the nightly news report said that Victor Korchnoi was back in the news.  Not for playing another match for the world championship, but for playing a game against another grandmaster.  Seems that Victor revealed that he had been playing a "correspondence" game against Geza Maroczy since about 1985.  Korchnoi stated that the game was about 30 moves old and he was winning.  Only one problem.  Maroczy had been dead for more than 30 years.  Yep.  I am not making this up.  Mr. Korchnoi said that he was playing him through a medium, and that he had been trying to contact various other dead grandmasters, but that so far Maroczy is the only one.  Sheesh.  Maybe Fischer will be next.

This tidbit hit home.  It seems that the only way chess gets in the news is when crazy things happen in the game.  I wonder what would have happened if we had actually won the last olympiad in Dresden?  Maybe an afterthought at the end of the news, but that's all.  It started me thinking about all the looney things I could come up with to get us in the news more often, so I grabbed the phone and dialed up MY happy medium.  "Hi, Mike!", I heard on the line, this before I could say anything ... but of course.  Mediums know who is calling them ahead of time, I told myself.  After explaining why I called, I asked if there was any weird chess news that would be guaranteed to get the press' attention that no one had ever heard.  Sure enough, I was able to garner some fascinating information never before revealed about the Noble Game.  So, here we go, folks.  Of course, copies of this information are being forwarded to all the major networks.

- The first person ever to capture a pawn "en passant" was Leonardo Fardpoole
in 1432.

- The first person ever to play the "castles" move was the same Leonardo
Fardpoole in 1432.

- Leonardo Fardpoole died in 1432 ... killed by his opponent after an argument
over how pieces move in a chess game.

- A secret match has been arranged with the deceased Bobby Fischer by a psychically motivated opponent, someone with a name like "Chessie Chackson" or  something similar.  Our Prelate Predictor was not clear on this point.

- If Fischer wins this match, he will challenge "any player not alive" to step forward for a match for the chess championship of the other world.

- The new computer by Excalibur/Fidelity does NOT move the pieces by itself.  There is actually a dead GM (still unkown at the time of this report) who is really
moving the pieces.

I couldn't take anymore.  Our Caissic Psychic was giving me too much, and I was very close to the point of calling the National Enquirer with the scoop.  So, after saying a hasty goodbye, I sat down to write this account.  No doubt about it, chess is a crazy game. 

What was that you just said, Elvis?

==========================

Click here for links to Mike's other work on Chess.com

Comments


  • 4 years ago

    NM Zug

    Hello?  Earth to Arstan...

    Of course there is no Leonardo Fardpoole.  I made him up.  Don't you know silly humor when you see it?

  • 4 years ago

    Arstan

    I was curious so I googled Leonardo Fardpoole and looked for him in Wikipedia. 

    Zilch. 

    Reminds me of how I heard that there's no definition for the word gullible in the dictionary. 

  • 4 years ago

    rockettorque

    Best Article EVER.

  • 4 years ago

    ericycsong

    good

  • 4 years ago

    bigfundu

    :)) That is a very good way of relieving stress. May be Leonardo Fardpoole tried to invent what we now call as "Fischer Random" chess!

  • 4 years ago

    dsarkar

    Ha ha ha - nice piece of writing, Zug - highly entertaining Laughing

  • 4 years ago

    thesexyknight

    And you have to first role an 11 with the dudgeon cube so that you can summon your dragon to use his magic on the b2 square before the Wizard of [Insert insane phrase here] causes 3 damage to your knight.

  • 4 years ago

    RoyalFlush1991

    That Leonardo Fardpoole guy really deserved it; everyone knows 1432 was a leap year and castling and en passanting during a leap year is strictly limited to blue moons and underwater-blindfold chess.

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