Let's see your Least favorite or Ugliest chess sets

Enough of all of these beautiful chess sets, intricately carved or elegantly minimalist and sleek. Let's see some real aesthetic affronts.

Stauntonish "real" chess sets only, please. Something a tournament director would have difficulty preventing you from using on legal grounds. Let's leave the "theme" and other utterly un-Stauntonish chess sets out (unless they're truly astonishingly aesthetically horrifying).

I'll start this off with the following, none of which I actually own, of course.

In the beginning there was the "DGT Timeless" set, which took the chess world by storm, soon being virtually the only chess set used in all the most prestigious FIDE chess competitions, presumably because its very plain design made it very cheap to produce, and possibly because its extaordinary ugliness so aptly mirrored the policies and actions of FIDE's ruler and his lackeys.   http://www.digitalgametechnology.com/index.php/products/eboard-chess-sets/34-dgt-timeless-set   However, progress has been made, and we know have improved versions, with eyeless knights   http://www.thechessstore.com/product/SGB375/German-Knight-Staunton-Chess-Set-in-Ebonized-Boxwood-Boxwood-3-75-King and pinched bishops and tiny rooks   http://www.houseofstaunton.com/chess-pieces/wooden-chess-pieces/the-championship-series-chess-pieces-3-75-king.html .

To each his own but, I like the Timeless Set.! The other sets are nice as well. I would play a game with any of them.

That one is actually one of my favorite sets.

Anyway, I have seeing some really ugly ones, some of those I just forgot about.

However there is 1 ugly set that I still own; That is the glass set that goes on walmart; Acordenly to the title it claims to be "elegant":

Other ugly set, that I actually think would be cool to own is the "Her Majesty The Queen's Diamond Jubilee Chess Set", wich basically looks like if someone toke 32 porcelains from the dollar store and make a chess set:

Then there is the infamous LEGO chess set, wich is basically a collection of not so rare or valuable figurines and a huge ugly plastic weird thing for board:

Then there is this thing create by integrated innovations, It doesn't have ha a name, as far as I know, I just like to call it the "why?":

Last but not least, this antique Buddha chinesse beauty made on the year 299 BS.

You recognize the black and white pieces from the color of the eyes, red or green:

This one's not very Stauntonish and almost assuredly would not pass muster for competitve play. I daresay it's not really bad at all, if only the bishops and pawns didn't bear such a strong resemblance to what are occasionally euphemistically referred to as "marital aids", which may make it prudent not to actually post a photograph of it here.   http://www.thechesspiece.com/proddetail.asp?prod=The-Berliner

In the beginning there was the "DGT Timeless" set, which took the chess world by storm, soon being virtually the only chess set used in all the most prestigious FIDE chess competitions, presumably because its very plain design made it very cheap to produce, and possibly because its extaordinary ugliness so aptly mirrored the policies and actions of FIDE's ruler and his lackeys.  

Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!  I feel like I've just been released from the chess version of "The Emperor's New Clothes".  Those so called German knights are the ugliest piece of crap ever to disgrace a chessboard.  "But look, it's just like what the pros play".  Yeah, well they don't have any choice, do they?  We do, and finally the secret that everyone has been afraid to even whisper about has been shouted loud and clear.  Anyone who willingly plays with that crap simply has bad taste.

It can be worse. Possibly even uglier knights and sets can currently be had.    http://www.thechessstore.com/product/WCS350/Basic-Staunton-Wood-Chess-Set-3-5-King    http://www.thechessstore.com/product/WCS375/Basic-Staunton-Wood-Chess-Set-3-75-King   http://www.thechessstore.com/product/KGR325/King-s-Guard-Staunton-Chess-Set-in-Rosewood-Boxwood-3-25-King   Imagine, someone actually "designed" these, was probably paid for doing so, and then someone else actually made them and is now valiantly trying to sell them.

I stand corrected.  You sir are an ugly chess set connoisseur. 

I beg your pardon? I don't own any of those, either.

However, I do find it interesting that my pick of the ugliest "Staunton" pattern chess sets ever, which, also interestingly, are all currently available, are all sold by what are very likely the largest sellers of chess sets in the world.

Meant only as a compliment sir.  You have a fine eye for ugliness and no, I didn't think you had actually purchased any of that crap.

I now confess.

I have a ChessCafe International Series Rosewood ($22.98)  http://shop.chesscafe.com/International-Series-Rosewood-EQP0905.htm , purchased to have an example of the "Timeless/Championship/German/Euro/International" set in its least offensive form, and a Sunrise Handicrafts Staunton No.7 Hornbeam with wooden storage box ($29.98)  http://www.crafts.pl/?go=57&gos=323&mode=details , purchased to see how well the Sunrise Handicrafts No.7 wooden storage box would fit various other chess sets. (It will fit very many 3.75" tall chess sets with extra queens and even some 4" tall sets with extra queens, and is a pretty fair deal for the price that Sunrise Handicrafts asks for the box alone.)

I know that German Knights look really bad on photos, but they are really stunning in real life.

And they have a bit of an attitude as well.  I dared to ask a question about one of their Ebay offerings and despite being a repeat customer, was promptly blocked from bidding on any more of their crap.  I think they did me a favor now that I think about it...

DWZ wrote:

I know that German Knights look really bad on photos, but they are really stunning in real life.

Of course beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and I went a little overboard on some of my earlier comments.  Insomnia makes me cranky, but still, my bad.

So, now you like those knights? Well, I don't, the ChessCafe version is far and away the most attractive (the knights being essentially identical in all versions), the HoS version is the ugliest (and most expensive non-electronic version), and all the sets that I've seen have all looked just as they do in the photographs on their respective websites.

So, there. Differences of opinion can exist in other matters, given agreement on the facts, but there can never be any compromise in the matter of aesthetics.

How ever could I have overlooked this new classic from the legendary Jaques of London? I would rather suspect that it's on account of the fact that regardless of its awfullness, it's really not at all at the level of the other chess sets that I've referred to.   http://www.jaqueslondon.co.uk/chess-pieces-luxury.html

We do seem to have trouble communicating sir.  No I still hate them all with a vitriolic passion.  It's just not nice to make fun of the aesthetically challenged.  

Ouch, those Jaques chessmen are really awful. You would think they would want to protect their brand and not slap the Jaques logo so prominently on the box...

@baddogno

I fear that you have missed that, to very loosely paraphrase the Clifton Webb portrayed character in the Otto Preminger directed classic film "Laura", I don't use a keyboard, I write with a quill dipped in iron(y).

P.S. I must not forget to leave those out. People might get upset otherwise.