Top 6 Rarely Used Trophies and Why

 Okay, so I love that we have trophies on chess.com, but some of them are pretty silly. Between the bad clipart and the generic messages, they're pretty funny. Still, it's good fun to toss 'em around to each other, isn't it?

Then again there are a few that, upon reflection, are like... when would I send that... ever? Here's my take on some of the trophies I don't think people often send to one another.

6. Snacks

Okay, so it's a tie for position 6. The WTF factor on the following two trophies is that, not only is the subject matter in itself absurd (Here. Have a trophy... for snacks) but that we're so nuanced about our snacks on chess.com as we offer you the subtle choice between

Yes. Snack time. Hi, have a trophy wherein I'm a sidewalk icecream dealer. Ice cream. Howabout it? Here, it's a trophy, indicating snack time.

Or, if you're currently ignoring me, logged off of chess.com and watching a movie with loved ones, let me send you this trophy indicating that, were I there, I would love to somehow purchase these snacks for you, but since I cannot be, have this clipart image instead, with a message that I'm sure will butter you up.

5. Stress

Hi friend. I have a great idea. You, see, I'm so frazlled right now, that I resemble this fellow - yes, balding, potbellied, bewildered. Please, if you would, display this trophy on your wall, and when you look upon it, please think about how stressed I am. P.s. yes, my ear does indicate that I am a Ferengi.

4. Karaoke Time

Hi friend. I just wanted to take a moment to send you this wonderful image of an anthropomorphized, animate microphone to tell you that I think, besides playing all this chess, that we ought to sing some tunes together. Let's sing some tunes! Yes, let's.

3. Grumpy

Hi friend. I'm in such a bad mood today. It's like, the darkest of existential angst imaginable. Yeah, I'm feeling so bleak that the only think I can think to do to award you a trophy of all things. Isn't that nice? I'm having a terrible day and you win a trophy for it? I'm feeling so angsty that the only thing that could possibly convey the Shakespearean scope of my personal tragedy is this cute little clipart of a bulldog. Please, display my grumpiness proudly upon your trophy wall.

2.  Computer Addict

Hi friend. Let me use this image of two people so nervous that they're vibrating out of their own flesh to tell you that I think I have a real sickness. I'm serious, I think it's really bad. I can't pull myself away from this thing. I might be genuinely deranged.

.... what about yourself?

1. Work Blow Up

I am tired of working! Time to blow up!

This is the trophy that takes the cake merely for the sheer WTF factor. What the heck is the chess.com administration trying to promote here? I can only imagine the weird thought that came into whomever's head that was casually perusing the clip art looking for trophy inspiration. "Oh dearie me," that person thought, "Look at this lovely image of a gentleman exploding dynamite... I have a great idea..."

I don't know what's funnier - the grammer of the title "Work Blow Up" or just that it is "time to blow" up. Finally, a trophy I can give to all my friends in Al Queda.

Rael> I don't know what's funnier - the grammer of the title "Work Blow Up" or just that it is "time to blow" up. Finally, a trophy I can give to all my friends in Al Queda.

lol

Funniest post in a long time.

Thanks for the laugh before bed man.

"Hi friend. Let me use this image of two people so nervous that they're vibrating out of their own flesh to tell you that I think I have a real sickness."

Made me laugh loudly!!!! Make moooooooreeeeeeeeeeeee.  

@killgoose

What does your status entry mean?

thou, unwiste querour, askere indiscreteli.

Thanks Sherlock.

hahaha, that was hilarious. I have to say, that I personally had no part in the putting together of the trophies or the image choices, and I have to say I share your sentiment on most of our trophies. Weird, yes, ugly, definitely...when would I ever give someone some of those?  NEVER!  :)

But yeah, your post was hilarious. I guess Erik and one of our developers had too much time on their hands.

"I am tired of working! time to blow up!"

hmmm whoever did these trophies was trying to say something i think.

i think these are hilarious! and that is the point of the trophies :)

i don't create them, but i do enjoy them :) 

Here's a replacement trophy suggestion;

Flushed agin! 

I can't really see the point of the "snack time" trophies, however I do have a suggestion for when one loses a game to a swindle:

Smack time!