well guys at my country I am playing in the U13 Attica tournament .To get to the national finals you must score 4out of5 Last year I played and got 5 out of 5 by queen blunders...they play stuff Like 1.e4 e5 2.Bc4 a6 3.Qf3 b5 4.Guess what#
Wish me patience...
(BTW I ranked 28th in the nationals, not so very good at chess0
Ha Ha
WHY WOULD YOU PLAY CHESS WITH
SOMEONE YOU DID N0T KNOW
I actually saw a guy play into the 2 move fools mate in 2 successive games.
Damn checkers...
After a few obviously bad moves they say, "I am a lot better at checkers".
After moving a piece, they very suddenly grab it and say, "I didn't mean to do that"...lol
They say "I want to move into check, moving into check is fun."
They say kaboom every time they capture a piece.
(true story)
They cooly flick their king over when defeat is inevitable making you feel like they won!
You realize why "strip" chess never caught on.
After you checkmate them, they make a random move and think everything is fine. You tell them that the game is over, and they argue that it isn't and tell you that it is now your move.
When you attack their queen, they don't see it and move another piece. When you take the queen the next move, they say you can't take the queen because you didn't see "en guarde."
When you both keep score, you notice he is only keeping score of his own moves.
When you queen a pawn and dont have an extra queen, you replace the pawn with an upside down rook and they say "what's that?"
When they queen a pawn, they leave the pawn on the 8th rank and try to move that pawn like a queen.
When you use a chess clock, they hit the clock, then they make the move.
They try to castle a second time.
They count the pawns and pieces off the board to see who is ahead. I try to keep an extra pawn in my hand after an exchange and they never figure out why I have more pawns on the board then they do.
they don't think it is chess if you start to exchange all the pieces off the board, even though you are up an material and trying to win the endgame.
They think they know the opening name, but call the Sicilian the Roy Lopez, or the Ruy Lopez the Spaniards game or the King's Gambit Defense the King's Indian Opening.
When you give a family fork with your knight, forking king, queen, and rook, they always move the queen first.
When they try to see if your pawn will make it to the 8th rank, they will use their fingers and try to count, if he goes there, I go there, he goes there, I go there, and I can stop him. Then you move your pawn on the 2nd rank to the 4th rank and they cannot figure out how you queened first and why they couldn't stop it with the king as they counted the moves with their fingers. (they forget that the pawn moves 2 squares on the first move and they counted it moving one square each)
You don't say mate when it is mate and they spend 5 minutes looking for a move.
If you were to move a lone bishop from one color to the other, they wouldn't notice it.
You accidently stalemate the guy, and he thinks he is lost and resigns.
You set up the board wrong, but you play anyway. Just in case you start losing and he is about to checkmate you, you point out that the board was set up wrong and you must start over.
They still think Fischer is alive and Kasparov is still world champion.
No. 10 tickled me.
Oh yes.Ha Ha. After all, we all were born having mastered the Ruy Lopez in utero. This hilarious topic is compliments of a 13 yearold committed christian and arrogant little smart-aleck who deserves a sound thrashing. Lets all have a good old laugh at those who simply have not been taught how to play chess.
Shameful elitist juvenillia.
And yes, I will happilly go fuck myself...
Oh yes.Ha Ha. After all, we all were born having mastered the Ruy Lopez in utero. This hilarious topic is compliments of a 13 yearold committed christian and arrogant little smart-aleck who deserves a sound thrashing. Lets all have a good old laugh at those who simply have not been taught how to play chess.
Shameful elitist juvenillia.
And yes, I will happilly go fuck myself...
Get a sense of humour bro...
Got one, mate.
You're English and yet you call this humour...?! Unbloodybelievable.
They are chess jokes, they're hardly going to be sidesplitting.
Very interesting that all of you forgot to mentioned they will push the pawns till the end before making a move with Q, N, B or R.
Who you calling a Patzer NOW !! 
corpscorc's board is fantastic, I want to play!