11343 Players currently online!
Man vs. Machine - good luck!
Turn-based games at any time!
Vote for the best move to win!
Do you have what it takes?
Sharpen your tactical vision!
Get advice and game insights!
Learn from top players & pros!
View millions of master games!
Your virtual chess coach!
Perfect your opening moves!
Test your skills vs. computer!
Find the right private coach!
Can you solve it each day?
Bring it all together!
Beginners, start here!
Make friends & play team games!
News from the world of chess!
Search all Chess.com members!
Find local clubs & events!
Who's the best of your friends?
Read what members are saying!
I have only farted once at the board but I am now banned from playing in my local chess club for infringing their fair play policy. I demand your sympathy and/or judgment.
Hand out boxes of chocolate next visit, I predict you'll be forgiven.
Next time, I recommend loading up on beef and bean burritos, refried beans, onion rings, and broccoli with cheese sauce before you attend. I'm sure you'll be welcomed back with open arms.
I can't believe they were so lenient in punishing your savage crime. You attacked their olfactory system in a very sinister manner. Assaulting the nose is no small thing. Its where the exterior world meets the interior of your body and its an orifice that can't be easily closed. I would have informed the proper authorities. Proper justice needs to be administered and I'm not sure your local club has the judgment to issue that firm justice.
You should be banned for not being wise enough to restrain yourself into a silent but deadly, and be the first to say, "Oh, dude, that's nasty!" to divert attention.
I bet you are a riot in elevators.
What opening did you fart during? Perhaps it can be renamed in your honor, like "Ruy Lopez, fart defense deferred" or what not.
sounds like your local chess club stinks-well after your visit anyway! its strange how farting always brings smiles- I love a good guff
This one was definitely an attack.
In this case I must sympathize with the OP. In my case I've often been accused of being a walking Natural Gas bag ( & old Windbag some people have added ). If they grant you a hearing perhaps you could claim it was a " involuntary pressure release caused by a internal reaction due to the processing of nourishment material within your body ". Perhaps also quoting from a Medical textbooks stating that the human body needs frequent nourishment might be helpful, good luck.
I'd say it makes a difference whether it was a sloppy fart or a nice clean crisp one.
dudes! at my local club there's an old timer who farts A LOT. it's great. people say stuff about it sometimes and he just keeps farting. plus he mumbles and swears to himself. it's exactly as it should be. by the way, who's the fake kraut?
Any time someone racks off a good one in a public place all the men (and half the women) in the room think to themselves "I wish I'd done that."
9/22/2014 - Mate in 2
by Jacob30 9 minutes ago
St. George's Defense is OK!
by Fiveofswords 10 minutes ago
True or false? Chess will never be solved! why?
by whoplaysssech 10 minutes ago
9/20/2014 - Going For The Touchdown
by Nielzzoz 14 minutes ago
Weird Openings for me to try?
by isaacthebird 20 minutes ago
by jjrehp 27 minutes ago
How many 3 men chess positions are legal assuming white's turn?
by Remellion 28 minutes ago
What openings can i use against the computer3- HARD ?
by Thanatos_01 40 minutes ago
Invent the new worst/most useless chess piece ever!
by Erik-the-Viking 48 minutes ago
by rezabarazandeh1375 69 minutes ago
Why Join | Chess Topics |
Help & Support |
© 2014 Chess.com
• Chess - English
We are working hard to make Chess.com available in over 70 languages. Check back over the year as we develop the technology to add more, and we will try our best to notify you when your language is ready for translating!