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Chess.com Interviews Trump, Clinton, Johnson, Stein

Chess.com Interviews Trump, Clinton, Johnson, Stein

News
Aug 9, 2016, 12:00 AM 327 Fun & Trivia

Chess.com was able to sit down with each of the four major presidential candidates last week as they turned their attention to courting the ever-important chess demographic.

Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, Gary Johnson, and Jill Stein were all interviewed by Chess.com as they look for votes on the 64 squares. 

Let us know who gets your vote in the comment section. 

 

Donald Trump, Republican

 

What is your chess rating?

TRUMP: A little bit higher than yours. No, a lot higher than yours. What is yours?

 

How has chess influenced your strategy in life and in this election?

TRUMP: I’m a pawn guy, mostly. I mean, I’m the king, but I like the pawns. More bluntly: Me equals king, Americans equal pawns. That’s my strategy.

 

What is your favorite chess opening?

TRUMP: I like to build a huge pawn wall in the center and then really make my opponent pay for it. So, the four-pawn attack against most anything, especially against the Mexican defense.

 

What message do you want to send to American chess players and voters?

TRUMP: I know moves, I have the best moves. People are telling me, I’ve heard, that Crooked Hillary has some moves too. Not true!

 

Hillary Clinton, Democrat

 

What is your chess rating?

CLINTON: Unfortunately all of my chess records have gone missing, so I do not know and cannot be forced to answer.

 

How has chess influenced your strategy in life and in this election?

CLINTON: I envision myself as the queen. All powerful, but wanting to help the other pieces so that they can help me. Can you cut out that last part?

 

What is your favorite chess opening?

CLINTON: What’s the one where it’s unsound but you prepare a lot ahead of time with some really sneaky lines to catch the other person off guard because they aren’t expecting it, but if they actually knew what I was doing I would be in trouble? The Fried Liver Attack? Yes! That one!

 

What message do you want to send to American chess players and voters?

CLINTON: I believe the primary role of the government is to teach, train, and raise chess players. Parents have a secondary role.

 

Gary Johnson, Libertarian

 

What is your chess rating?

JOHNSON: High, or not high? Totally depends. Right at this moment...maybe I shouldn’t play.

 

How has chess influenced your strategy in life and in this election?

JOHNSON: Chess is a game between two people, person-to-person, without any governing body getting in the way trying to ruin things. Actually, wait, that isn’t true. There is FIDE…FIDE is just like the U.S. government. What is going on with all these institutions?

 

What is your favorite chess opening?

JOHNSON: Pretty much any exchange variation of any opening. I love the open and free exchange of pieces and ideas. Wild-West-style without much restriction. Guns too.

 

What message do you want to send to American chess players and voters?

JOHNSON: There should be no drug testing in chess. Or public schools. Actually, we shouldn’t have public schools at all. Freedom!!

 

Jill Stein, Green Party

Image by Paul Stein.

What is your chess rating?

STEIN: I do not believe in competition, so I have never actually completed a game. I just want to get to a good position and leave it for future generations to handle. Though I do play better when the dark squares are green, which is why I love Chess.com.

 

How has chess influenced your strategy in life and in this election?

STEIN: As a doctor, chess has helped me learn how to walk only on the same-colored squares of hospital floor tile. I’m not a bishop though -- far from it. But I just love those diagonal tiles...

 

What is your favorite chess opening?

STEIN: The French Defense, but where we don’t exchange pieces so we can have more pieces for the future. And if someone does a bad trade, I like to give them a piece back so we are equal. And then give them some of your money.

 

What message do you want to send to American chess players and voters?

STEIN: Vote for me and together we will save the environment. And forgive your student debt. And reset your tactics trainer history!


Hey, Chess.com: This was obviously meant to spoof all candidates equally. Don’t take it personally or seriously. Each candidate has a vision and message for America.

The point of this article is get out and vote for your candidate!

We know we opened a can of worms here, but please keep the comments friendly! If you want to debate politics, visit our open discussion club.

 

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