a more perfect name for chess pieces in English

i have a problem where no phrase to indicate the   seems to fit right.

Maybe it is better in another language, like Russian, because i remember i heard about a Russian novel where the same person might be called many different ways as someone else's father or son or boss etc.  Anyway here is the problem with every English name for them:

a) chess piece:  too much like a mere object without life in it

b) chess men: too conservative, not progressive enough

c) Chess Men: undervalues the recent decision of new york times to capitalize the B in Black as referring to people of particular family and ancestral background in USA

d) chess beings:  maybe, but seems too literally alive and capable of motion

e) chess spirits:  definitely too tangible

f) chess avatars:  maybe but seems too much latin; want something more earthy

g) chess plants:  too green

f) chess mushrooms: too soft

Maybe the answer is chess figures

How about chess trolls? 

I gotta tell you .... E is my favorite, start to finish. Like, what? Spirits too tangible? Bravo. 

Chess figures may be the most practical, or in fact too practical, keeping with your theorem. 

May we say Chess Avitars and be less Latin? Just taking a stab, here. 

I do not understand a problem.

I say remove the "word" chess and go with soldiers. 

It' OK to create a problem if it's light hearted and whimsical.

In that vein I suggest "Chess Warriors".

Not sure I got the problem right and understand the question. I do wish there were other names for certain chess pieces.

I would rather call the knight "horse", that's the name we use in Dutch.

And I prefer "Tower" over rook.

But I like bishop better than the Dutch word "loper", which makes no sense to me at all. A "loper" in Dutch is a key that fit all locks. I have no idea what this has to do with the bishop as chess piece.

I was assuming that everyone knows why we call the tower a Rook. But maybe not. Do you guys know why? 

In Norway we call the bishop "løper", which means "runner", which means kurer/courir/ordonnans

Is it called a Rook because there can be a bird nest at the top?

Oh, I was unclear a little bit

Here it is more simply in English

I am thinking of a better word to mean "chess pieces"

a) chess piece: this term seems not alive enough

b) chess men: this does not include female enough

c) Chess Men: makes them seem too human

d) chess beings: makes them seem too real

e) chess spirits: makes them seem not tangible enough

f) chess avatars: but there is no real person behind them

g) chess plants: but they are not green

f) chess mushrooms: but they are not as soft as muchrooms

Czech - by Google Translate

Mám na mysli lepší slovo ve smyslu „šachové figurky“

In English, to lope is a way of moving by foot, a gait like a walk or a run or a trot  so i guess loper has something to do with that maybe

There is a large bird in Europe called a Rook. It the old days it would nest in the top of castle towers.

Chess pieces originally depicted roles in a medieval Indian army. There was a king (shah), and his grand vizier (wazir), who would act as the war-time commander. That's why the king is a relatively passive piece while the "queen" is the ace.

The other officers were war elephants, horsemen, and chariots. Footmen were as the row in front (the pawns).

The game was transmitted to two direction: east to China (but this time we won't talk about that), and west to Persia, and from there to the Arabs. That's where many of the names of the pieces come from.

Muslim-ruled Spain was among the first places in Europe where chess arrived. So, they took the Arabic name meaning an elephant (al-fil), and named the piece "alfil". But when the Italians got it from Spain, the word somehow got twisted into "alfiere", which meant a herald or a standard-bearer. They started sculpting the piece as a guy with a funny hat (instead of an elephant with a rider). The hat was probably what made the figure look like a bishop for the people of the British Isles. Arabs, Persians and Russians still call this piece an elephant.

The rook was another piece that went through such a change. Since when did a "tower" move fast in straight lines, staying on the flanks of the army? Obviously, it was a war chariot - in Persian, rukh, where the English word comes from. Perhaps the act of castling - in Spanish, enroque (still referring to rukh) - was what somehow created the confusion that a chariot became a tower (torre) in so many languages. In this piece's case, English language has saved a more conservative name, though the piece became depicted as a "tower".

The queen was a late European invention. Probably because chess became a court game, and the players started to think about court intrigues rather than a medieval Indian army. So, the wazir was replaced with a queen. But in Poland it's still hetman, for the Arabs it's still wazir, and in Russia, the traditionalists use ferz (from Persian), while the use of "queen" is a newer phenomenon.

I'm not sure if the bird named rook (a species of crow in Europe and Western Asia) has a connection to the mythical bird Rokh of the legends probably originating in India (like so many fairytales) but transmitted to the West by Persians. Marco Polo mentioned the tale, too - that this bird could catch elephants.

Fascinating.

Thanks Suurnuubio. Very interesting information.....