another poem by Billgill0 - Chess Forums

billgill0

Jan 21, 2009

0

#1

Nosh ‘n’ Nonsense around the world in rhyme.

Don’t fear for all amphibians

It really doesn’t matter

It’s not a frog a newt or toad

But. Sausages in batter.

Ask a Welshman for some fun

To shoot a rarebit with his gun

A prize be given for the most

Hot Welsh rarebit on my toast!

A Scots cuisine known for its taste

Is made from bits the butchers waste

Then put into some stomach lining

It does taste nice but needs refining.

The Irish have col-cannon,

No, it’s not for shooting ships

Its smelly rotten cabbage served

With onions and chips.

In Cornwall theirs a right old row

The Pasty at its centre

Do they put in meat n veg

And fruit like they are meant ta.

To France we go for fruit der mer

Moulin Rouge, Moule Mariner

Strolling champs-elysee’s style

Restaurants, mile after mile

Waiters who do not care less

To busy with the cute waitress

The Spanish with their fighting bulls

Carafes of rosé wine

Paella, flamenco, castanets,

And thugs on larger and lime!

Portugal, the edge of Spain

The land of Peri Peri sauce

Unless you are a golfer

As they do a nice golf course

Amsterdam is window shopping

Bedroom hopping, drugs are popping

Eating cake and smoking hash

Forget the law, just bring some cash

The Germans bratwurst sausage

Sauerkraut and larger beer

A loosing world cup football team

And a down their nose look sneer

Volkswagen and Mercedes and Adolf Hitler who

Hurt a lot of people and lost them world war two!

Italy has pasta parmegarno and ragus

A tower that is leaning

And make lovely pairs of shoes

Tiny little people when talking roll their RRs

In a hurry going nowhere

In there tiny little cars.

Geneva’s known for its cuisine

Of muesli milk and honey

And the town is very clean

It evens launders money

Norwegian men are killing whales

They use and eat most bits

Unlike Thatcher and Scargill

Who used then killed the pits

Invited out to Africa

A dinner just for two

Make sure you read the menu

As the dinner might be you!

Don’t care what foods in Egypt

Casablanca or Sudan

The lamb shank and its couscous

As it’s covered up in sand

Don’t care about the mirages

The Tuaregs and such like

And as for riding camels huh!

I’d sooner ride me bike!

Zimbabweans eat crocodile

From the Limpopo not the Nile

And Robert MUGABE just for fun

Said backwards spells E BA Gum!

South Africa (apart,,, I’d) never ever thought

One voice could bring a country down

One man a country fought

For human rights of everyone

Be they black or white together

These men that fight just causes

Like, the great Nelson Mandela

The Russians have Beluga,

Black-market eggs for tea

Those complain, aren’t seen again

Care of the K.G.B

Jamaica has jerk chicken

Marijuana and reggae,

Voodoo dolls n coca nuts,

And plenty Bob Marley;

A cricket team that beats the world

Fantastic scenery,

I’m on the next flight out of here,

It’s the West Indies for me!

In Texas they eat rare beef

And show the world there class

Don’t cook for long they tell you

Chop its horns and wipe its ass

The Appalachian mountain men

Eat codfish pie and pig

Their front teeth must be missing

And drive a rusty rig

While grandma’s rocking on her chair

And grandpa’s at his stills

Banjo music fills the air

From far off, in the hills.

Canada has only snow

And Mounties furs and game

Beaver pelts hung in a row

A prime ministers crying shame

There is a group of chilies

That will surly make you choke

Try Naga Jolokia and,

Then go up in smoke!

King prawn balls, sweet n sour.

Egg fried rice, chow mien

Trouble is in half an hour,

You’ll want it all again

We travel to the Yemen where,

They have a drink called Mocha

But as a football fan beware

There not much good at soccer

Taiwan is not a country

I bet that’s not the case

For if you turned it upside down

Its name is on the base

The Japanese are funny eaters

Using chopsticks try to teach us

Sitting on the floor to eat

Their women serve with tight bound feet

When visiting New Deli

Try a stew made up from fish

You’ll get an iffy belly

But please don’t blame the dish

Tahiti girls wear coco nuts

And go without a bra

Flowers pearls and long grass skirts

It sounds like Shangri-La

In New Zealand, Maori men

Can be very rude

Their tongues aren’t in the mouths for long

It must be in the food

The Aussies love there bar-b-ques

Camp fires and rude songs

Koala bears and kangaroos

And call us whinging poms.

Far to the north as north can go

You come across the Eskimo

Now I’m not sure but I’ve been told

Eskimo food is very, very cold

Our culinary journey ends

Back in London town

Pie n mash fish n chips

With tea to wash it down,

A curry when the pubs close

Or kebab on your way home

The Weekends only started

And you’ve lost your mobile phone

The pavement stones starts moving

And your speech and eyes are blurred

You’re waiting for a cab

And someone’s chatting up your bird

You spew up in some garden

And you walk like your on skates

Forget you told the barmen

That you love him and your mates

You have to walk forget the cab

Don’t bother with the train.

Kiss your friends and cash goodbye

Tomorrow, start again!

Bill Currie.

Writch

Jan 27, 2009

0

#2

Gawd, I'm hungry now.

One correction:

It wasn't the Japanese with bound feet - that was strictly Imperial China.

billgill0

Jan 27, 2009

0

#3

I stand corrected! thanks.