Out of curiosity, did you write the legal part in the opening yourself or how did you go about that?
Escape from Dystopia - Finding Hope in a Very Dark World Part 1 The Journey Begins
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Nov 28, 2023
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#3
Select_Chicken wrote:
Out of curiosity, did you write the legal part in the opening yourself or how did you go about that?
I researched and used what I saw in other books, and I adopted it to mine.
Nov 28, 2023
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#4
Sooo I’m not like an English major but I think that this (in bold) Tim thought, How did I get lost so quickly? What is the way out of these woods? He had heard of rabbit trails, but this was just plain ridiculous. It seemed like a magic trick in reverse where the white rabbit causes the magician to disappear under a black hat. But this was no black hat. It was a thick forest with night overtaking the last vestiges of daylight as the sun sank quickly below the horizon.
should be this with quotations. Because it’s like he’s speaking even though it’s in his mind.
Tim thought, “How did I get lost so quickly? What is the way out of these woods? He had heard of rabbit trails, but this was just plain ridiculous. It seemed like a magic trick in reverse where the white rabbit causes the magician to disappear under a black hat. But this was no black hat. It was a thick forest with night overtaking the last vestiges of daylight as the sun sank quickly below the horizon.”
Then Tim remembered.
I think should be… Then, Tim remembered.
Nov 28, 2023
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#5
I’ll prob just highlight and take notes on stuff in a google doc and either copy and past it here or share the link with you, John.
Nov 28, 2023
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#6
FaithfulServant wrote:
Sooo I’m not like an English major but I think that this (in bold) Tim thought, How did I get lost so quickly? What is the way out of these woods? He had heard of rabbit trails, but this was just plain ridiculous. It seemed like a magic trick in reverse where the white rabbit causes the magician to disappear under a black hat. But this was no black hat. It was a thick forest with night overtaking the last vestiges of daylight as the sun sank quickly below the horizon.
should be this with quotations. Because it’s like he’s speaking even though it’s in his mind.
Tim thought, “How did I get lost so quickly? What is the way out of these woods? He had heard of rabbit trails, but this was just plain ridiculous. It seemed like a magic trick in reverse where the white rabbit causes the magician to disappear under a black hat. But this was no black hat. It was a thick forest with night overtaking the last vestiges of daylight as the sun sank quickly below the horizon.”
Then Tim remembered.
I think should be… Then, Tim remembered.
Katie, thanks! I just cut and pasted this from my Word I use italics for a person's thoughts and they didn't transfer, so everything's cool.
I would you like to read the story for enjoyment and not worry about even typos or anything else. Just tell me if you like it, and why you like it or don't like it. It is work to put on a critical hat and review a story. It takes away from the pleasure. I am not asking you to do that, but if you want to, you are welcome to do that too. Sending me a link or PM me if you want to get detailed. Frankly, I am not likely to make many changes at this point, but I would still like your feedback.
I think, "Then Tim remembered" sounds more natural than "Then, Tim remembered." I will give it some thought. Perhaps I will change the wording a little. Thanks, Katie.
Nov 29, 2023
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#8
Finished reading it last night and I was gunna say I NEED a part two, but I saw one was posted and so I must say, I am going to read that with such a passion and curiosity because that kept me hooked. I would one hundred percent read it again. I’ll take some time to think about if there’s anything I might want to add. The descriptive words and way it was written is sooooo good!
first things first, the part when it went from talking about Hope to Holly was a little bit confusing, I’ll read it again soon because it was preeetty late at night when I read it (I was so hooked that I decided 8 hours of sleep, I can survive without.)
number two, the AI chips. I’m assuming it’s a chip that goes in your neck or spinal cord or smthn connected to the brain and nerves. If you explained it in the story, my bad, I tend to read quickly and I skip over things unintentionally. I’ll read it again to make sure I didn’t miss anything. But I found it a little odd that the AI chip fried/ short circuited. Buuuttt, I also know that that conclusion was an assumption made by the characters who didn’t know everything about the chip, and I don’t know everything about the chip, so I get it. But to me at the late time I read it I thought it was a bit of a plot hole because if it just got wet and broke, how would the people take showers and go out in the rain? Yk? Now this is merely a suggestion and you are the author and should do as you please with your book because it is your book, but maybe it got crushed in the storm? Because if they got caught in the tornado maybe they fell on it or smthn like that and it broke. I think it would be a good alternative to the chip getting wet.
another thing, as a reader and not quite a judger, (it’s important to look through a readers lens too though) that Alpha101 and Omega 101 (also, I love all the little biblical Easter eggs you have in there, it’s so cool!!) could in the future become good guys? I think it’d be cool to at least see one of them become good guys. It’s one of those, one guy won’t turn from his ways but the second one does and it’s awesome! But, I think it isn’t that much of a biggie because the other guy, I think his name starts with an ‘o’ (or maybe I’m trippin’) who’s the general or captain who’s son, Orin (maybe that’s where I got the ‘o’ from) was killed. I think that him becoming a good guy is pretty much the same as the grinders changing.
another idear I have is that maybe one or two people could be introduced along the journey and have some new characters introduced. I love the characters that are already there, don’t get me wrong, but maybe if they found another group of people or someone else like Tim who was on their own or someone who got separated from a group who became AI but managed to escape, that would be cool. It could also provide some inside information, but the guy I talked about above whose son died… one sec my bus just hit a tree
Nov 29, 2023
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#9
I’m back. The bus just hit some tree branches and honestly, probably the trunk too, while backing up. I also know that the guy whose son died will probably become a good guy, and I would be content with that.
Okay, first off, I too was really confused at the part where we suddenly transition to talking about Hope right after talking about Holly. I think it may read easier if you somehow introduced Hope in a way that more clearly shows she is a completely different character.
Otherwise, I much enjoyed the story, and it was excellently written. I especially like your use of words, but in someways I feel like they dragged on the story slightly (I'll get to that in a second). I loved all the references you use to allude to the Bible, and having Tim conclude his prayers with "Omen" was very humourous. I also love the overall setting to explain why your teens are in exile.
Now, I will move on to some more critical comments of the story. Don't get me wrong, I dearly loved the book, but you asked for honest feedback, and while I may not speak for all teenagers, I have a strong sense of what my peers, as well as myself, enjoy.
One, I loved the words you used, but the way you wrote the story seems a bit too formal. Most books targeting teens aren't as formally written, and it makes the read a little drier than I would have liked. While some of this may be due to the words you used, I think most of the blame for this falls on another factor that I will discuss in the next paragraph.
In the story, you write in the "Third Person Omniscient" point of view. Fancy lingo aside, that means you show the thoughts of characters and switch main characters in various scenes. However, you really only show the thoughts of one character: Tim. So it feels more like an "Objective" (Seeing only actions and speech, never thought) in all of the chapters except the ones with Tim (With the exception of Dexel). This irregular point of view seems to me to make the story less engaging as it fails to allow the readers to fully understand and sympathize with the other major characters. Indeed, while reading, I felt far more engaged and enthralled by the story when it was a chapter from Tim's (or Dexel's) perspective as I felt I better "knew" the character. The others, not to be cruel, sounded more like a statement of fact, a drier report of historical events than a story.
I understand it is very difficult to write from a more personal perspective from a character when there are multiple characters in the scene, but I would suggest singling out one person per chapter to tell the story from their perspective. It seems fair to try to include everyone equally, but it also distances the reader from all of the characters at the same time, making it harder to connect with them.
Honestly, that is my main issue. Your reader is distanced from the characters, making it harder to connect (and thus care about) them and their plight. I only saw a few more suggestions a part from that, but in my mind, they are much more minor.
One of those would be the length. It doesn't seem to be as long as a book. I'm not saying this is a bad thing, but when I am looking for a book, frankly, I do judge size. If it's too long or too short I'll tend to keep looking.
The second would be pacing. Your book is very fast-paced, though slowed by long narrations and uncommon words. However, when exciting events occur, the seem to happen rapidly and last only for a short time. I think it would do much to bolster the suspense and the quality, in general, to spend more time on such events and describe them more in-depth. Emphasize more on feelings than effects. I would suggest doing this through actions and not words (E.g. "Terror was written across her face as she stared open-mouthed" versus "' I'm scared' She said," or "She felt the most terrified she had in years").
For example, the tornado, I liked your descriptions of it, (E.g. "It sounded like a freight train").
however, I feel like you could have spent more time describing the effects before, during, and after. We saw how they acted in the cave, but it is hard to gauge what would have been like to actually have been there. I feel like I'm describing what I mean terribly, but basically, I am trying to say, paint the whole picture: how far from the cave entrance were they? How did it feel inside the cave? Windy? Calm? How did they feel during the course of it? What did the surrounding are look like after? Trees down? Bare earth? Cloudy, sunny, eerily colored? I think some more details would really bring the story to life more than it is and bring it from sounding like a telling of historical events to a in-the-moment gripping tale.
Nov 29, 2023
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#11
Elijah, your comments were great and constructive. I do have more interaction with other characters in the second part. My idea was to have two shorter (and much cheaper) e-books for the first two parts, then have a paperback with all three parts which should be around 60,000 words.
I'm toward the end of my life, and it is harder for me to do the mental exercises of weaving together a story. This is my first attempt at a fiction book. I usually do devotionals, short stories, poems, and jokes. I did do a 240-page book of devotional studies though. My life seems too filled with other things that drain away my writing time. I'm not sure I could take the time and put in the effort to transition into another style, even though it would likely make it much more engaging to the reader. I will give it some prayerful consideration and seek to find out where the Lord wants to take me with this.
I really, really do appreciate the effort and thought you put into your constructive review. It was much more than what I expected. If you feel so led, please pray that I will be obedient to the Lord in this, and in all things.
Thanks so much, brother! I really mean that.
John
Thank you. I am happy to help with my feedback if I can. That does explain the length, and I think it is a really good idea as it allows people to "try out" the book rather inexpensively before committing to buying the paperback or the full version. It hopefully would mean more people are willing to read it.
Yeah, I totally understand that it is difficult to change your style, especially if you've already written the work. In my creative writing class, I had an idea for a story from the perspective of a younger boy, but I just couldn't do it. After writing about two pages, I realized that I had failed to adapt my style to sound anything that such a young child would think or say. Also, I fully get not having the time either. A lot of times when I have the desire to write, I just don't have the time to do so.
Anyhow, like you said, pray about it and I will too, and see what happens. I am really excited to read the next chapters and see how people respond to the book!
Nov 30, 2023
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#13
Thank you so much, Elijah! May the Lord bless and use you mightily, my friend.
Nov 30, 2023
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#14
I do agree with what he said about how teens talk. They do sound really formal and I know that these characters are probably more mature because of the hard times, but we don’t really say things like, “I quite understand why you would say such a thing. Let us now go on this journey as the best of buddies”. (That’s a random example I thought of lol) instead it’d be like, “yeah, I get where you’re coming from etc
Nov 30, 2023
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#15
Thanks, Katie. I may need a ghostwriter, someone not as mature as myself. LOL
Honestly though, if you do want help writing certain parts, I wouldn't mind pitching in.
Nov 30, 2023
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#17
Select_Chicken wrote:
Honestly though, if you do want help writing certain parts, I wouldn't mind pitching in.
That's awesome! I'll definitely pray about that. Would you believe earlier on I thought about having different people here write the parts for different characters, but the interactions would be a bit much. LOL
Yeah, that would be quite complicated, especially when people favor one character over another.
Nov 30, 2023
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#19
ResurrectedSon wrote:
Thanks, Katie. I may need a ghostwriter, someone not as mature as myself. LOL
I can make the conversations, maybe, but my vocabulary isn’t very good and I’m not good at writing unless it’s a devo or poetry lol
Nov 30, 2023
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#20
FaithfulServant wrote:
ResurrectedSon wrote:
Thanks, Katie. I may need a ghostwriter, someone not as mature as myself. LOL
I can make the conversations, maybe, but my vocabulary isn’t very good and I’m not good at writing unless it’s a devo or poetry lol
Not to worry, Katie. I think you deserve a good break -- a time to build up your reserves. You have been stretched so thin, I can hardly imagine, if at all. Your prayers are appreciated though. It's new for me. I'm a formal guy of sorts. xD
Escape from Dystopia
Finding Hope in a Very Dark World
Book 1
The Journey Begins
Quillpen
Escape from Dystopia
Finding Hope in a Very Dark World
Book 1
The Journey Begins
Quillpen
Escape from Dystopia Finding Hope in a Very Dark World
Book 1: The Journey Begins by QuillPen
ISBN: 979-8-9868696-1-2
© 2023 by John T. Leach
All rights reserved solely by the author. The author guarantees all written contents are original and do not infringe upon the legal rights of any other person or work. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review and for certain other noncommercial uses allowed by copyright law. For permission requests, email the author through his Web site below.
All Scripture quotations are taken from the KING JAMES VERSION (KJV), public domain.
Images on the book covers and in the book are used by permission through Pixabay.com where no attribution is required.
Printed in the United States of America
Published by John T. Leach
Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
www.a-disciples-journey.com
DEDICATION
This book is dedicated to the youth of our nation and abroad, and to all those who seek hope that endures in a dysfunctional world.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
I want to thank my young friends from the Coalition of Christian Writers and from the Christian Youth Chess Team (CYCT) for letting me be a part of their lives, and my older friends who invited, encouraged, dragged, and cajoled me to help them with the youth in these clubs. A special “Thank You!” to the owners and staff of Chess.com for the freedom they have provided for the world’s online chess players.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
DEDICATION....................................................................................... 5
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS....................................................................... 6
Missing in Action … Again! 11/4 rev.................................................... 7
Lost in Darkness 11/4 rev................................................................... 9
The Hand of Providence 11/7............................................................ 12
Rediscovering Hope 11/5 11/7......................................................... 16
Piercing the Darkness 11/5; 11/6....................................................... 19
The Awakening 11/6......................................................................... 22
The Storm 11/7................................................................................. 24
The Tornado 11/7............................................................................. 28
The Trap Door 11/7........................................................................... 33
An Unexpected Surprise 11/7............................................................ 36
The Hiding Place 11/7....................................................................... 39
Puzzling Progress 11/7 11/13............................................................ 43
APPENDIX......................................................................................... 47
.................................................................................................... 47
ABOUT THE AUTHOR..................................................................... 48
ABOUT THE BOOK......................................................................... 50
OTHER BOOKS BY THE AUTHOR..................................................... 51
Escape from Dystopia - Finding Hope in a Very Dark World Book 2 Unraveling the Mystery 51
A Disciple's Journey: 26 Devotional Studies to Draw You Closer to Jesus. 52
The Amazing Adventures of Poly, The Amazon Parrot – Book 1 “When Christmas Comes Twice” 53
Missing in Action … Again! 11/4 11/25 12/17
An eerie darkness covered the hills with a thick fog that swirled around and through the valley below. A threatening storm sought to extend its icy grip into their adopted home. The small group of teens had been branded as recusants because they resisted AI bonding, the cornerstone belief of a society that had lost the ability to think for itself. They wore the badge of recusant as an honor given to unconformable dissidents in a controlled society that regarded personal freedoms as a threat.
The teens were being hunted down to be sent away to a retraining facility where they would be “reprogrammed” and brainwashed through any means possible to force them to conform to their intolerant society. Yet they were resolute in believing that halfway around the world the sun was blazing brightly. They knew there was no reason to abandon hope -- not now, not ever.
It was not the first time their fearless leader, Tim, known for his steely will and dogged determination, was missing in action. He would habitually embark on important missions that required the utmost secrecy, such that no one would know what he was doing, where he was going, or when he would be back. He had earned his position among them as their leader through trust, and he had maintained it the same way.
The teens knew they had to learn to work together and resolve their differences if there would be any hope of them breaking away and escaping the cruel bondage of mindless cookie-cutter conformity. They also knew it was critical for them to maintain their focus on their mission, especially when Tim was away. He would evaluate their progress to make sure everyone stayed on track until another secret mission called him away. Although Tim was short, slim, and wiry, his compassion and intelligence, when combined with his will, made him a force to be reckoned with.
No one knew how many times Tim would disappear and reappear, or when his frequent sojourns would come to an end, but the recusants knew they could not give up. They were desperate to find a cure for the horrible ravages of the sinister wave that affected their planet millennia ago. This scourge was so destructive that it gradually reduced the lifespan of the populace from almost a thousand years to around hundred, and, in the last century, drastically reduced it to a mere twenty, multiplying sorrows and death on their planet. The Keepers governed the New Republic for the common good and assured everyone that the only way to extend one’s life was by receiving an AI implant chip. Of necessity, this meant surrendering one’s freedom of self-determination, something the recusants refused to do.
The recusants' will to survive and their unquenchable thirst for freedom melded into one and crystallized into a determination to seek out a cure. They were willing to invest their lives in trying to find a way to reverse the scourge, both for their own sakes and for the sake of humanity. Were they following a pipe dream? Or was it a living hope with substance and a real possibility of materializing into reality? Only time would tell.
Lost in Darkness 11/4 11/25 12/16
Tim was on a quest, searching for a mysterious cave that might hold the key to enable members of his race to enjoy a long, fulfilling life. After initially wandering through some towering pine trees and making no progress, he realized that he was now lost in what appeared to be an impenetrable forest. He had been forced to wade through patches of thick underbrush, leaving him with a thousand cuts from angry bramble bushes that tore his clothes and clawed his legs.
But Tim knew he just couldn't quit. Not now. Not like this. His disposition was such that he was not one to give up easily. Some thought he would never give up. Too much was at stake.
Tim thought, "How did I get lost so quickly? What is the way out of these woods?" He had heard of rabbit trails, but this was just plain ridiculous. It seemed like a magic trick in reverse where the white rabbit causes the magician to disappear under a black hat. But this was no black hat. It was a thick forest with night overtaking the last vestiges of daylight as the sun sank quickly below the horizon.
Then Tim remembered.
"In darkness deep, the secret lies.
If you seek, there's no alibis.
But if you do not find –
entombed in darkness, you will die."
Those were the words inscribed on the last pages of an ancient book Tim had found deep within the hidden recesses of one of the caves he had explored. He remembered how he had discovered the black book while stumbling on a rock near the back of the cave. His torch had fallen to the ground as his arms reflexively flung out. He had stumbled forward, attempting to catch himself, when an invisible wall took shape in front of him. The impact from his hands hitting the wall to break his fall had dislodged a piece of granite, uncovering a secret recess.
Tim remembered reaching inside the recess, awakening an ancient leather-bound book from its hand-carved bed of granite where it had been sleeping for half a century. Covered in a blanket of soft green mold, it had appeared alive. It seemed like it desperately wanted to speak to him, but it was mutely silent. Except for a handwritten message in his mother tongue, its words were foreign, in a language that he did not understand. As was his wont, Tim's intellectual side once-again had mixed with the practical. He had been puzzled as he mused, "Was this a conundrum of quixotic hope accentuated by a dire warning? Were these words trustworthy and to be taken seriously? Or was this just someone's idea of a practical joke?" Tim was smart enough to speak to others in a language that they could understand, but, privately, Tim actually thought this way – sometimes using fancy words, and other times using plain language. However, his descriptions were always accurate.
Unable to ignore the riddle emblazoned into his mind, Tim had felt obligated, for conscience’s sake, to diligently seek out an answer. Moreover, he had calculated that the probability of anyone putting that much effort into a practical joke was infinitesimal. He was searching for a real hope with substance - something to point the way to reverse the curse hanging over the teens. No young person should be doomed to an unfulfilling life and an early grave, he thought.
Keenly aware their biological clocks were ticking, Tim had determined to give anything to save the recusants for something better than dashed hopes and broken dreams. He truly believed there must be a decades-longer life worth living for each of them, and if they could find it, they would find it together.
Tim’s thoughts then centered on his family of friends – the other recusants – whom he loved dearly. He first thought of Holly, and how she guided the others when he wasn’t there. He had learned to depend upon her. She had stability, sensitivity, and wisdom – uncommon traits for a sixteen-year-old. She was a surrogate mother for the teens. Then he thought of Hope and of the time when she first joined the group. It was a most unexpected event and one that none of them would ever forget.
The Hand of Providence 11/7 11/25 11/29
Cri-tide marked the beginning of winter. It was a day set aside by their culture to decorate evergreen trees to honor the life-giving role trees played in producing oxygen to sustain the planet. Holly joined the group during the Cri-tide season three years ago. She had weathered more than her fair share of storms, but adversity had only served to smooth off her rough edges. Her trials had strengthened and refined her, giving her a backbone of steel and a heart of pure gold. Her mind had also been sharpened by the challenges she had faced during her times of testing. They had prepared her to step up and fill the void in leadership left by Tim’s frequent absences. Tim had taught her much, but she had taught him even more.
The recusants bonded and formed a family but without any natural father or mother among them. They seemed to learn by osmosis where their strengths rubbed off on one another while their weaknesses were covered by each other. Holly also had her share of weaknesses. One such weakness was that she had trouble discerning the truth from a well-crafted lie. But don’t we all? As Providence would have it, even the universality of this particular weakness had an exception. That exception would come in the form of Hope.
Some would call Hope hyper-sensitive. Others would call her deeply compassionate. She could fall apart emotionally at the drop of a hat. Whenever she detected even a little pain or perceived injury that someone was suffering – whether in body, soul, or spirit – it could elicit a virtual mega-reaction from her, and it was almost impossible for her to hide her feelings. She was not very strong physically and had several infirmities. Mixed in with her weaknesses were two towering strengths - she always remained hopeful; and she had a remarkable gift of discernment. She was like a human Geiger counter, geared for detecting lies. This gift enabled her to pinpoint the source of just about any deception. These strengths would prove to be of great worth to her newfound family.
Hope had been a member of the recusants’ family for a little more than two years and came to them when the ancient Eghop season was about to begin. Eghop marked the beginning of spring and was a day set aside to rejoice in the yearly renewal that brought the beginnings of new life and its concomitant joys. On this day, eggs were decorated, and bunnies were celebrated.
Tim had just finished leading the group into what turned out to be nothing more than another wild goose chase. It had looked so promising. He had been confident he would discover an important piece of the puzzle that, when completed, could add years to their lives and help them fulfill their dreams. He had taken full responsibility for this boondoggle, but it had left him dejected, blaming himself. How could he have known that he would be led astray, succumbing to a well-hidden white lie, virtually indistinguishable from the truth?
It was during this time when the teens were at a low point in their lives that Hope literally stumbled upon the group. While running to elude her captors, she tripped on a protruding root from the very bush that hid the opening to the teens’ secret chamber and home. While falling headlong into the bush with her arms outstretched, the makeshift door gave way, and she slid down the sloped tunnel, crashing into the middle of a strategizing meeting below. Although covered with dust and dirt, surprisingly, she was not hurt. Emotionally, she was a mess – first crying, then laughing, and then crying again. Unannounced, she just dropped in. No one was pleasantly surprised.
While everyone was recovering from the shock, Tim stepped up and took charge, as was his habit. He asked her the usual questions such as her name and what she was doing there. All Hope could do was blubber and stammer until Holly spoke up and told her to just take some deep breaths. Sarah then offered her a cup of home-brewed mint tea and some homemade cookies, a real treat reserved for special occasions.
The teens were keenly aware that constant vigilance was necessary to keep one step ahead of the Grinders who were always on the prowl. Realizing their hidden entrance may have been compromised, Michael grabbed some tools and hurried up the tunnel to quickly make any necessary repairs to the hidden entry way and to secure their hideaway. While surveying his surroundings, Michael noticed some movement among the bushes about a hundred yards away. Unable to detect the source of the disturbance and not wanting to take any chances, Michael hurriedly repaired the door and repositioned the bush to cover their secret entrance. Then he headed back down the tunnel to join the others.
In the meantime, Sarah took Hope to a secluded place in their cave where running water flowed from a small underground stream. Hope cleaned herself up and was given a fresh set of clothing to wear which fit her remarkably well. Although Hope was still confused and visibly shaken, the two girls returned to the group.
The recusants momentarily forgot their troubles as they gathered around and tried to calm and comfort Hope. After she finally calmed down and regained her composure, Hope explained that she was running from the Grinders, those half-human half-machine beings whose sole purpose was to force teens into submission to Group Think. She had sensed they were hurtful and did not want to hang around to find out if she was right.
After taking about fifteen minutes to answer all their questions, Hope asked a few of her own: Who were they? How did they get here? Why did they band together and resort to hiding? What were they afraid of? She had already guessed some of the answers.
Tim and Holly briefly introduced themselves and took turns answering Hope’s questions. Then everyone else introduced themselves, beginning with the girls. Sarah was a calming influence. She was quick to recognize there are many things in life we just have no control over, and she had a deep inner peace that was seldom disturbed. Courage lived up to her name and never let fear take hold of her or paralyze her. She was able to do something and step out, even when she wasn’t sure how things would turn out. She was not reckless but was the chief risktaker among the recusants.
The boys went next. First, there was Nathan who had a knack for predicting how things would turn out, almost like a prophet of old. Next was quick-witted Jack who, although a deep thinker, could usually lighten up the atmosphere with his keen sense of humor. Completing the group was Michael who worked well with his hands and had amazing mechanical ability. He could put together all kinds of broken things to make them work again, even if only for a little while. With their introductions behind them, the group’s focus returned to the problem at hand, and a palpable cloud of hopelessness returned to settle over them.
Hope wanted to know what this was all about, so she asked, “Why the doom and gloom? Why so glum? What seems to be the problem? Don’t you know you can always have hope? That’s why my parents named me ‘Hope.’ They told me that I came at a very dark time in their lives, but I brought them hope. I would also like to offer you some hope.”
Knowing everyone needed something to hold on to, Tim chose to take a leap of faith and take Hope into their confidence. He thought he would try to explain their dilemma to her. Although he was inclined to think it would be a waste of time, Tim thought, "What do I have to lose?"
Rediscovering Hope 11/5 11/7 11/29
Tim began to set the stage to answer Hope’s inquiry. “We are trying to find a solution to enable us to live a free and decent life, at least into our seventies or eighties, like many of our ancestors did. We are not satisfied to barely reach twenty years of existence before our lives expire unless we do what the Keepers want. This just doesn’t seem right. Our society has branded us as recusants, and we are being hunted down like wild animals. Why? It is simply because we are not willing to accept the status quo of melding with artificial intelligence machines and Group Think, and we are not content with the short life span that seems to be our present fate.”
“We’ve seen dark times many times before and have learned that, by focusing on the positive and searching diligently, we can find something good coming out of our trials. We’ve heard rumors of an ancient hidden cave somewhere on the earth that contains the key for a cure, a way to dramatically extend the length and quality of our lives. This rumor was confirmed when we were able to break into a top-secret library and search the computer memory banks. It wasn’t easy. The Keepers did an excellent job of hiding the library location and making it hard to break into its memory vaults.
“We worked as a team with every member making a valuable contribution. Nathan believed we could find what we were looking for, and our quest would be successful. Jack thought deeply and hard; he believed there must be an underground facility containing archived records from the past that the current administration did not want us to know about. Courage helped us find a way into the memory vaults even when the prospects weren’t very bright. Sarah helped us to step back and release our expectations instead of drowning in self-pity and self-doubt when our best efforts seemed to fail, and we wanted to give up. Michael found a way to open the doors to the secret vaults which Nathan helped us locate.
“Since I was best qualified by my education and natural abilities, I was responsible for breaking the code. When I did so, it enabled me to access the library volumes and computer memory archives. I shared my findings with the rest of the group. But after searching the archives, we were left with more questions than answers. Nevertheless, we decided to search for this hidden cave purported to contain the secret for a long and satisfying life.
“We went separate ways and explored many caverns but none of them contained the secrets we were looking for. At the appointed time, we met back here and shared our findings with each other, but we all failed. We were left at our wit’s end, and we didn’t know where to turn or why all our efforts seemed in vain. The hope we had held onto was draining out of us, and we were giving in to despair. That’s when you literally crashed our meeting.”
Hope tried to take everything in. She didn’t absorb all the details, but she now felt she had a good grasp of what they had been through. Understanding why they would feel depressed and hopeless, she began to weep with deep empathy and compassion, unable to speak for several minutes.
Sadness and grief were etched on their faces as the pain of their situation resurfaced through Hope’s empathy and compassion. You could not find a dry eye among them. Holly and Sarah were sobbing quietly. After wiping away her tears, Hope spoke encouraging words. “Wow! You all are amazing! Look what you've done! You all worked together and tracked down every lead. I know it must be a huge disappointment for you to find nothing concrete after all that effort.”
Hope continued, "I believe it was no coincidence that I literally dropped in today, unannounced. I believe Providence is on our side, and I think we should not abandon hope. I think we should look to Providence to lead us to the next step.
“You will note that I said 'us.' I believe the hand of Providence has guided me here because I need your help. I also think I can help you in your quest. I know I'm a stranger to you, but will you receive me as one of your own? That would make me incredibly happy, like someone who has just been reunited with her family after having been away for a long time. My hope is in a Benevolent Providence, and I believe something will come up to help us in this vitally important quest.”
Tim and the others were greatly encouraged and gladly welcomed Hope into their growing family. They came to realize she was the unseen benefit in the dark clouds of hopelessness and despair that had settled upon them. Eventually, each one would recognize the hand of Benevolent Providence in Hope's timely but unexpected arrival.
Piercing the Darkness 11/5; 11/6 11/25
Tim was jerked back to the present reality by a pain in his side. He abruptly stopped rushing through the underbrush to catch his breath. He knew he needed time to think. With little daylight left, he did a quick 360-scan of his surroundings, seeking a path through the darkness. Taking care of himself was now his number one priority. Otherwise, his mission would end abruptly, and all would be lost. But how could he pierce through the impending darkness to continue his quest?
"First things first!" Tim thought. "I must find a safe place to spend the night. There could be wild animals or snakes, or even a Grinder or two on the prowl. Who knows?"
Then Tim thought about Hope and remembered what she had said about Benevolent Providence. Tim recalled that his grandparents had descended from a long line of religious people. Hundreds of years ago, there had even been a string of preachers in his family line.
According to the stories his parents had told him when he was very young, in times of trouble and perplexity, his grandparents had simply prayed. But that seemed so long ago. It was a time when people still lived to a ripe old age. His grandparents were in their mid-eighties before they left the earth. "But what do I have to lose?" he thought. "I will ask Benevolent Providence for help."
So, Tim prayed, “Benevolent Providence, I believe you may be what my grandparents knew as God. I don’t know whether you exist or not, but if you do, please help me. If you are God, you must know that I need a safe place to stay for the night, and it is already dark. You must also know that I am here to help others as well as myself. I have always tried to make the best use of my abilities and education, but I believe I could really use your help now. Please guide me to a safe place to spend the night and help me find the answers I am seeking. And, oh yes, I pray in Yeshu’s Name. Omen!” If his memory served him well, Tim thought that was how his grandparents ended their prayers.
Tim just waited where he was, thinking he might find lodging in one of the taller trees, if only he could find a way to climb one. A short time later, a small light appeared, piercing the darkness. It was almost imperceptible. But Tim thought he should make his way toward it. As he followed the light, it seemed to move – first in one direction, and then, in another. Tim dutifully continued to follow, carefully stepping his way around the bramble bushes and underbrush. After what seemed like a long time but was probably no more than twenty minutes, the small light stopped in front of something massive before it disappeared. As Tim made his way to the spot where he last saw the light, he noticed a growing luminescence. A short time later, Tim was in front of the entrance to a large cave. The soft glow of the walls invited him to enter, so he stepped inside and walked further into the cave.
"I think this will have to do," Tim thought. Then he added a prayer, “Thank You for answering my prayer, Benevolent Providence, or God. I believe you must have led me here. I guess you must exist, after all. I pray in Yeshu’s Name. Omen.”
Tim found a water supply that was trickling through a crack near the back of the cave, and he used it to clean his wounds from the bramble bushes and underbrush. As he explored the inside of the cave, he found a wall of stone composed of boulders – silent sentries on guard duty. There was barely enough light for him to scale one. Finding a comfortable place to spend the night, he felt secure behind the wall of immovable bodyguards. He pulled out some fruit and the last of the homemade cookies from his backpack and devoured them. Right before being overtaken by exhaustion, he uttered a quick prayer of thanksgiving. “Thank you, God, for helping me to find this place. I know I could be in an extremely dangerous situation if it were not for your benevolent providence. In Yeshu’s Name. Omen.” Moments later, Tim drifted off into a deep dreamless sleep that lasted most of the night.
The Awakening 11/6 11/25
In the early morning hours before dawn, Tim began to stir and almost woke up. Then he began to dream. He dreamed he was in a dark cave and was surrounded by solid rock. He saw no way out of the cave, and the light was almost nonexistent. Then he looked up. When he lifted his gaze, he saw a Light. As he focused on the Light, it kept getting brighter and brighter. Then the ceiling of the cave melted away, and the heavens appeared, revealing a thousand points of light – stars – lighting up the heavens. One light was preeminent. It started moving toward him. It merged with the Light he first saw in his dream. Then two Hebrew words appeared in the sky -- the words for “Light” and “Life.” Tim recognized and understood the words because he had seen them and looked up their translation while searching the memory vaults of the secret library.
Tim's dream ended abruptly when he was suddenly awakened by the sound of a thunderous growl, followed by another. As he rubbed his eyes, he cleared the cobwebs out of his mind and heard the growl several more times. He recognized it. It was the growl from an old thunder, the largest bear on the planet!
Mixed in with the growls were other sounds like the tearing of prey, the crushing of bones, and the smacking of lips. It was horrifying, and a cold clammy sweat encompassed Tim as his mind raced. Remembering where he was, he calmed himself. He was exceedingly grateful for those silent sentries that formed an impenetrable barrier for earthbound threats. He also knew that, unlike other bears, old thunders could not climb trees and would be unable to scale the boulders that encircled him without the help of steppingstones, and there were none.
Tim felt relieved and just waited. The growls and assorted noises continued intermittently until Old Thunder finished his meal. Moments later, Tim heard a loud belch followed by a shuffling noise that gradually faded. He discerned that the bear had finished its meal and was leaving the cave.
Realizing that what had happened to him in the last twenty-four hours was statistically impossible to be accidental, Tim became convinced that the God of Benevolent Providence was real. Whatever doubts Tim might have had melted away as he realized how God had protected him.
"Time for some serious thinking," Tim thought, so he made himself as comfortable as he could in the cave. He needed to think about the recent events, including his most unusual dream. He also had to figure out how he was going to continue his quest. When he felt it was safe, he would leave the cave and forage around for some food to replenish his almost-exhausted supply.
Tim first thought about his dream, wondering whether it contained an important clue for his quest. It reminded him of his experience the night before: how the small light that pierced the darkness had led him to this cave and a safe night's lodging. He thought Benevolent Providence might help him and guide him to the next steps. So, he prayed, “Dear God, thank you for protecting me from Old Thunder and for providing me with a safe place to stay. I believe that You guided me here and may have given me that dream, and I am asking You to show me the next steps to continue my quest, and please protect my family of friends. Thank you in the Name of Yeshu. Omen.”
Tim's thoughts then turned homeward, and he wondered how his adopted family was making out.
The Storm 11/7 11/25
As the teens had performed their assigned tasks for the day, it became apparent that a storm was approaching. Michael climbed up the tunnel to make sure their makeshift door would be secure. While adding an extra waterproof cover to seal off the cave from pooled rain or floodwater that the storm might bring, he remembered Hope's unexpected but timely appearance, and how it required him to repair the door and readjust the bush to hide their entrance.
Michael was glad Hope had joined their family. In fact, he had been growing quite fond of her. But Tim and Holly had agreed that it was best to focus on their mission and not let personal feelings get in the way. They had persuaded the others to join them in a solemn pledge to focus all their energies on their mission. If they were successful, there would be plenty of time to enjoy everything a good life of freedom and dignity could provide, including time for romance and raising a family.
Michael remembered his solemn pledge as he carefully scanned the surrounding area for Grinders. Somehow, he knew the Grinders would come. They always did. But, so far, they had always left empty-handed. Before heading back down, Michael decided to take a few extra minutes to see if there was anything going on of special concern. He did a 360-scan, looking for Grinders on the prowl. Then he looked up and noticed something that appeared even more ominous and imminent.
The approaching storm had filled the heavens with dark thunderhead clouds; and the winds were picking up, strengthening to near gale force. He watched as the trees bent with the wind. Branches began to snap off some of the pine trees and crash to the ground as close as a hundred yards away. He felt a cold chill penetrate his body right into his soul. He didn’t know what to make of it, but he hurriedly returned to the tunnel to give his report to the others.
"Listen up, everyone," Michael said. "The sky looks particularly ominous, and I am concerned. Branches are already snapping off the tall pines as the gale-force winds force them to bow lower each minute. Judging from what I’ve seen, I wouldn't be surprised if this storm brings hailstones. It could even spawn some tornadoes, and the winds may become hurricane strength. It really looks foreboding. I think we should be safe here, but I don't know how things will be out there. If we get a direct hit from a tornado, our entryway will likely be sucked up. If that happens, it may get nasty down here. On a more positive note, with weather like this, I don't think we will need to worry about the Grinders. If any are wandering around, they will be fleeing for cover." Michael didn’t appear too worried.
Holly’s face was etched with concern but with no trace of panic. "Thanks, Michael. I think a direct hit by a tornado would be highly unlikely. But should we take any extra precautions to protect ourselves from this possibility? Do you have any suggestions?"
Michael thought for a couple of minutes before answering. "If we could roll a boulder over the entry way, I don't think a tornado would move it. But how could we get in and out of the tunnel? I’m not sure what else we could do. Does anyone else have any ideas?"
It was not uncommon for the teens to have brainstorming sessions. They knew no one’s ideas would be ridiculed. Experience had also taught them that sometimes they could combine several suggestions into an exceptional and practical solution.
As often was the case, Courage was the first to speak up, "What's the worst that could happen if we were directly hit by a tornado? Would it suck us out of this tunnel? Would the tunnel cave in and leave us trapped under a mound of dirt?"
Quick-thinking and quick-witted Jack replied, "It's hard to say. A lot would depend on the intensity of the tornado. It would probably take any loose objects with it and may also peel off some layers of dirt along with our bush cover and entrance door. Maybe it would take us with it, and deposit us far away from here where no Grinders or Keepers could bother us!"
Holly did not always appreciate Jack's humor. With a touch of sarcasm, she replied, "Jack, thanks for your contribution. I hope you have had your fun, but we do need to get serious here.” Then she added, “What do you think, Nathan?"
Nathan had been noticeably quiet, taking everything in. He simply said, "I don't know. But I do not think we need to worry about this. We can always go toward the back of the cave if necessary. I'm sure we will be safe there."
"Thanks, Nathan. That was helpful. After listening to everyone, I think we should do this. Let's move our supplies and whatever else we have toward the back of the cave. If we hear a "freight train” sound, we’ll head there ourselves. I think the funnel cloud will have a tough time negotiating its way down the tunnel. If it does make it, it should only affect the ground where the tunnel ends. I agree with Nathan. I think we will be fine. Thanks for your input, guys!"
By this time, the storm had moved into their area. They all heard the crashing thunder. It also sounded like hail was pelting their door. Everyone quickly pitched in and grabbed whatever they could find, quickly moving it to the back of the cave. Their task was completed just before the storm hit in full force.
Even though they were several yards underground, they now heard the howling wind. Varying amounts of fear and concern registered on each of their faces, but no one was panicky. They all had justifiable confidence in Holly and the advice of the others. The storm intensified to hurricane strength and was accompanied by shaking and rattling both above them and in the cave itself. Although they did not hear the freight train, the tunnel’s entrance seemed insecure. Fear was becoming more pronounced in the eyes of some while most of the teens remained confident that they had nothing serious to worry about. The sounds became louder and louder, and one-by-one they were expecting the worst. Then they heard it -- the freight train was coming their way! “Vroom!” The entrance to the tunnel suddenly gave way, causing the rain and pooled water to pour down into the tunnel. The intensity of the situation broke through their thoughts and stirred their emotions. Hope’s eyes were filled with fear. Jack registered no confidence in his previous analysis and closed his eyes. Even Courage’s and Michael’s bravado were crumbling with the onslaught.
Suddenly, they heard a thud and a loud “Swoosh!” as something more massive than rain or mud was sliding down the tunnel. A second thud and “Swoosh!” soon followed. Before anyone knew what had happened, two soaking-wet mud-covered Grinders exited the tunnel and were deposited at their feet, almost bowling them over.
“What do we do? What do we do?” Hope cried out in deep concern, her face riddled with confusion. The sound of the freight train was getting louder. Then she began to cry. “We can’t leave these Grinders here! They may die!”
Holly noticed that the Grinders had been knocked unconscious. She also realized that their secret hideout and home base may have been exposed. “They are in worse condition than we are. I can see their AI computers are not functioning. The impact must have short circuited them or ruined their batteries. Let's drag them to the back of the cave, cover their ears, blindfold them, and tie them up securely. Quickly, everyone, to the back of the cave! Let’s all pitch in. We will carry the Grinders back with us.”
It took them less than a minute to secure themselves and the Grinders. Struggling against fear, they could tell that the almost unthinkable was happening. The freight train was directly overhead now. The fear was palpable as reason gave way to terror as the almost unthinkable was happening.
The Tornado 11/7 11/25 12/17
The teens were huddled in the back of the cave with the two captive Grinders tied up but not yet conscious. The tornado must have been directly overhead. Suction and swooshing sounds were swirling overhead. Dirt and anything loose were being sucked toward the front of the cave and the tunnel. They all closed their eyes to protect them from the dirt. Their ears sensed the sudden drop in atmospheric pressure and began to pop. Instinctively, they put their fingers in their ears. Minutes seemed like hours, and the imagination of some ran wild, driving them to their knees in cold fear. But the deadly vortex did pass over them, leaving a swath of destruction in its wake.
The swirling of dirt and debris stopped almost as suddenly as it had begun. The freight train moved on and the noise above began to fade away. Minutes later, only the sound of the rain and occasional hale could be heard as it pelted the opening. When the dust settled, some were embarrassed by giving into fear. They found the courage to just shake it off as they surveyed their surroundings and approached the tunnel. Thankfully, everything was intact with little lasting damage.
Jack was the first to speak. “Wow! I hope we never have to go through this again! My emotions were screaming out at me, telling me this would be the end of me. I’m glad this is over. I guess we have to figure out what to do with these Grinders. They both still appear to be unconscious. Thankfully, our entrance only has bushes around and no trees are within one hundred feet. Should we see if we can take them outside and move them away from the entrance? Maybe they will have no recollection of what had happened. It appears that, when they tumbled down here, they were already unconscious. I know it’s taking a risk, but what else can we do?”
Holly then spoke, “To be honest, even I was scared. Thankfully, it looks like we are all okay. I think Jack is right, and we need to get these Grinders out of here before they regain consciousness. If they know about this place, we will have to leave and find another home base. Somehow, we will also need to let Tim know where to find us. If the Grinders have been unconscious throughout this whole ordeal, they may not be a threat. But we will have to get them out of here, cover our tracks, and restore our hidden entrance, if possible. And we will have to move quickly! If you have any other thoughts about how to handle this situation, please speak up now!”
Hope's eyes were bright and her face relaxed as she expressed her thoughts. “I’m so glad we survived that tornado! I hope to never go through anything like that again! I was petrified! Now that that’s over, I think it would be good to get the Grinders out of here quickly and take them to a place not too far away. One of us can stay out of sight and check on them to see if they regain consciousness. I know they are no longer fully human because of their dependency on their AI computers and the implanted microchips they have. But I would hate to see them die. I think we should do what we can to save their lives, if possible.”
Nathan added, "I agree with both of you, and I think we must prepare to vacate quickly, especially if our entrance has been compromised. We’ll also have to see how much damage the storm and tornado caused outside. Fallen trees and broken tree limbs may make it hard for us to leave this area.”
“Anyone else have something to say?” Holly asked. After a minute of silence, she added, “It looks like we only have one choice, so let’s do it!”
They formed teams and made makeshift sleds to pull the Grinders out of the cave and through the tunnel. Two teams pulled them out of the tunnel, navigated around broken branches and some felled trees until they found some largely undamaged trees a couple hundred yards away. They propped them up against a couple of neighboring tree trunks and left them there. Then they took some small broken branches and brushed their tracks behind them as they made their way back to the tunnel entrance. Nathan offered to covertly watch the two Grinders while remaining vigilant in case others approached the area.
After surveying the situation, Michael volunteered, “I think I can secure our opening and rearrange our cover to keep our entrance hidden.” He was grateful that the bush had not been uprooted, and no significant damage had been done. He descended into the tunnel and returned with his tools while the others retreated into the cave. Working quickly, he made the necessary repairs and rearranged the bush to cover their entrance.
The rain stopped falling, and the weather began to clear up. About half an hour later, Nathan noticed some movement among the two Grinders. He was glad he had made sure there was no physical evidence of them having been tied up and blindfolded. The Grinders continued to stir, and one eventually sat up. Then Nathan covertly backtracked, returning to the tunnel entrance. He carefully repositioned the bush before descending into the tunnel.
In the meantime, the recusants below were busy sweeping away debris, moving things around, and putting their dwelling back in order. Everyone pitched in, and no one needed to be told what to do.
When Nathan returned, he reported to the group, “The Grinders seem to be okay. Both were moving around some and one of them sat up. I think they will be taken care of. However, their AI computers will have to be replaced because, as we saw, they did not survive the tornado intact.”
“We can’t be sure how this will end up, so we better start thinking about what we can do if we need to find another home base,” Holly stated with concern written all over her face. She was always one to think ahead on behalf of the group.
*****
Grinder headquarters had been made aware of the approaching storm and the tornado activity. Communications attempted to contact the two Grinders who had been searching in the area where the tornado touched down. “Alpha101, Omega101, please contact the home base. Alpha101, Omega101, please contact the home base. Alpha101, Omega101, please contact the home base. ...” The message continued nonstop for fifteen minutes.
Once the weather cleared up, headquarters mobilized a search party to comb the area. They were not motivated by compassion, but they knew the Keepers would not want to lose their sizeable investment. It took several years to fully train a Grinder after the initial operation with the microchip implants. It was a painful process for Grinders to adapt to their customized AI computers and learn to sync with their machines. The AI computers also had to go through their own learning cycle to adapt to their human counterparts. The humans provided mobility, and the AI units provided brain firepower.
Alpha101 and Omega101 had now regained consciousness, and both propped themselves up with their backs against a tree.
Alpha101 looked confused and disoriented as he struggled to speak, “I am in a brain fog and feel dazed. I think I have some bruises. I don’t know what to do. It is as if a major part of my brain is missing.”
Omega101 broke into a cold sweat with his face contorted by fear and terror possessing his eyes. His voice was halting and quivering as he struggled to respond. "I ... feel .... almost ... brain ... dead. I ... think ... I ... have ... a ... knot ... on ... my ... head ... and ... some ... bruises. I ... don’t ... know ... what ... happened. My ... AI ... unit ... does ... not ... respond, ... and ... I ... am ... getting ... no ... direction ... from ... it.”
Alpha101's eyes were beginning to glaze over, and he seemed unable to recognize Omega101's dire condition. He simply replied mechanically, “Same here. I think the impact from the storm has ruined them. I do not understand it. They were supposed to be waterproof. I don’t know what else could have affected them. I have a faint recollection of a funnel cloud moving toward us as we were running away from it. Next thing I remember is falling. Then I blacked out.”
After catching his breath and calming himself, Omega101 continued, “I ... remember ... heavy ... rain ... and ... hail. My ... AI ... unit ... was ... telling ... me ... to ... move ... quickly. Then ... I ... stumbled ... and ... fell, ... and ... I ... must ... have ... blacked ... out. But ... how ... did ... we ... get ... here ... by ... these ... trees?”
“I have no idea, Omega101. But I recollect going through an area where there were trees like these and bushes. We may have stumbled on a root from one of the bushes. But right now, I am getting hungry, and I have nothing to eat. Do you have an extra power bar that you could share?” Desperation drove Alpha101 to make his urgent request.
Omega101 teared up as he spoke. “Sorry. I ... only ... have ... one ... left, ... and ... I ... must ... have ... it, ... or ... I ... will ... lose ... the ... rest ... of ... my ... energy.”
Alpha101 then dragged himself to his feet and began to look around, foraging for some food source. He just went in ever-widening circles, avoiding fallen trees and stepping around broken branches, until he gradually approached the bush that hid the tunnel entrance. He thought he saw a power bar on the ground and bent over to take a closer look. It made him dizzy, and, as he reached for the power bar, he blacked out.
It was not long before the search party found Omega101, quietly napping under a tree. It took a while longer before they found Alpha101, partially hidden by a bush. They noticed a power bar next to his right hand. They guessed that he just ran out of energy and shut down. As they pulled him up, the bush that had hidden him moved too, exposing some type of wood covering that had been hidden.
The leader of the search party took note. “It looks like a tornado hit full force around here. If there were any recusants around, they must have fled for safety. It looks like the tornado has exposed that wood covering. Maybe Alpha101 stumbled across the hidden entrance to an underground hideaway for some of those recusants we have been searching for. Drexel, I am assigning you to guard this entrance. The rest of us will take Alpha101 and Omega101 back to headquarters and have them checked out. They both appear to be in bad shape.”
Drexel replied, “Aye, aye, captain! You can depend on me. When will you be back?”
The captain answered, “It shouldn’t be more than an hour or two.”
“Make note of the coordinates, sergeant,” the captain barked.
Drexel sat down by a nearby tree and unholstered his stun gun, preparing to use it immediately, if necessary. The others departed, carrying Alpha101 and Omega101 back with them to Grinder headquarters.
The Trap Door 11/7 11/25 12/17
“What was that noise? Did you hear it?” Hope asked as she heard a faint thump coming from the direction of the entrance to the tunnel.
Nathan was also near the front of the cave and answered, “I heard it, and I do not like the sound of it! I think we are in danger.”
Holly and the others in the back of the cave did not hear anything. Not wanting to ignore Nathan’s warning, Holly said, “Nathan, will you go take a look and see what's going on? And, please, be careful!”
“Will do!” Nathan replied. Then he scampered up the tunnel and pushed the door to open it, but it wouldn't budge. He tried again, but still no luck. He quickly returned to tell Holly and the group, “Something is blocking the entrance door, and I cannot open it! Can someone give me a hand?”
“This doesn't sound good. Something must be going on,” Holly said. “Michael and Jack, please give Nathan a hand. But be careful because we do not know what happened or what is out there. Everyone else, start pulling together your personal items, our basic supplies, the food, and the water. We may have to leave here in a hurry!”
Immediately, the girls dispersed to quickly gather the things they knew they would need most and began loading them into their backpacks.
Jack, Michael, and Nathan made their way up to the top of the tunnel. Since Michael was the strongest, he went up first to push up on the trap doo. It didn't budge. He dug in and pushed harder until his feet began to slip. losing traction to the tunnel slope. He called out to the others, “Guys, if you'll brace my feet, I think I can push the door open by using my full strength!”
Jack and Nathan moved quickly to position themselves to each brace one of Michael’s feet.
“We’re ready, Michael. Go ahead and give it all you've got! But be cautious! I would like to suggest you gradually increase the push,” Nathan said.
“Okay. Here goes!” Michael replied. He gave a strong push, and there was some movement. He then pushed harder, and the door began to give way. They could hear something slide on the top of the door. With his full strength, Michael gave it a power lift, and the door flung open. A dull “thud” indicated something heavy just hit the ground.
Michael climbed out of the tunnel, followed by Jack and Nathan. Immediately, they saw what had been keeping the door from opening. A full-grown Grinder lay on the ground, partly covering their camouflage bush that obscured the hidden door. All three of the boys took a closer look, first doing a 360-scan of the area, then focusing on the Grinder before them. They noticed the other Grinder remained where they had left him, not moving, but propped up against a tree.
The boys turned their attention to the first Grinder to see what condition he was in. His eyes were closed, and he appeared to be in a comatose state. Nathan checked his vitals. “He's alive but very weak. I don’t think he knows what's going on. He may be unconscious. I think we need to get out of here as quickly as possible! I'm sure the Grinders will have sent out a search party or two by now!” The others agreed, and they quickly returned to give their report to the others.
When the girls heard what had happened, they all knew it was time to leave ASAP. The boys helped with the rest of the packing. Then each grabbed a couple of the big backpacks and left the remaining ones for the girls.
“Okay, let’s move out!” Holly ordered crisply. “We will head for the small cavern a mile or so away and stay there until things settle down. If our entrance has not been discovered, we will return when it is safe to do so. Guys, before you follow us, take a few minutes to try to hide our entrance. Then use some branches to cover our tracks, and we will meet you in the small cavern.”
“You got it, Holly!” Jack said. The boys took off their backpacks and busied themselves, doing their best to restore the trap door and the camouflage bush. They noticed the bush had taken a beating from the Grinder falling on it. They carefully moved the Grinder to a more comfortable position a short distance from the door, knowing time was of the essence. By the time they were done, the girls were already out of sight.
Since Michael was the strongest, and Jack, the weakest of the boys, Michael suggested, “Jack, why don’t you give me one of your backpacks? Then you can follow us and cover everyone’s tracks!”
“Sounds good!” Jack said as he realized he needed to use the strength he had to enable him to brush the tracks while carrying a backpack. He handed the heavier backpack to Michael who wrapped his massive arms around it. Jack also knew his task would not be easy since their rendezvous at the cavern was over a mile away. Being a careful thinker, he looked for a light branch, long enough so he wouldn't have to stoop down to cover the tracks. While Michael and Nathan trudged a distance behind the girls, Jack brought up the rear as he brushed away everyone's tracks.
An Unexpected Surprise 11/7 11/25 12/17
About an hour-and-a-half later, the captain returned with a small group of soldiers. “Drexel, I'm glad to see you're still alert! Did you see any signs of life around here?”
Drexel replied, “No, captain. Everything has been quiet!”
The captain them barked the orders to his contingent, “Okay, men, unholster your stun guns. If this is indeed an entrance to a tunnel as it appears to be, and you see any threatening movements or recusants down there, use your stun guns. Remember, recusants are valuable assets. Once they're reprogrammed, they'll be a valuable resource for our New Republic! I have been told we need more Grinders. Our orders are to capture the recusants without injuring them. Undoubtedly, many will become Grinders and help us to stamp out all recusants, once and for all. Long live the New Republic!”
“Aye, aye, captain! Long live the New Republic!” the contingent of soldiers, led by Drexel, replied, as they raised their clenched fists, affirming their loyalty to the New Republic.
Drexel had always been careful to hide his disagreements about any unpleasant tasks he had been given. He especially disdained capturing recusants to force them to become Grinders. He knew that any recusants deemed to be beyond redemption would be eliminated by order of the New Republic. His son, Orin, even though he was very young, had been one of them. At that time, Drexel saw no real choice but to do what he had to do. How else could he and his wife survive in the New Republic?
“Shall I open the door, captain?” Drexel inquired.
“Go ahead! You deserve the honor, Drexel!” the captain replied.
Drexel pushed aside what had been left of the camouflage bush and grabbed both sides of the door with his strong hands. He lifted the door right out of what had been the entrance into the tunnel to the cave below.
“What’s this?!” the captain exclaimed. “All I see is dirt and more dirt! It looks like it has been freshly put there. It may be a gravesite. Perhaps some recusants died in that ferocious storm and were destroyed by the tornado. It seems curious they would use that wood marker for a gravestone though. Drexel, I will leave it to you to dispose of it properly or do whatever you think best.”
The men grunted in agreement. Drexel asked, “Captain, should we dig up the ground?”
Although his men saw the deep disappointment etched on the captain's face, he replied, “No, Drexel. We might as well let the dead rest in peace. It doesn't help anyone for us to dig up a fresh grave.”
The captain barked, “Let’s move out, men! Keep alert and be prepared to use your stun guns! If you find any sign of recusants, use your portable sirens, and we will converge on the spot. We will meet at Checkpoint Two at 18:00 hours! Fan out now! Perhaps we’ll find the gravediggers. Judging from the condition of that grave, they cannot be too far away!”
Drexel and the other soldiers replied, “Aye, aye, captain!”
As Drexel left the site of the trap door, he felt relieved. While he was standing guard by the entrance, he had disobeyed the captain and removed the trap door. When he descended into the cave, he could see that it had been the living quarters for what looked like about a dozen people. He figured it was the band of recusants that they had been searching for. Rather than tell the captain, Drexel chose another path. If he could, he wanted to help the recusants and try to ease the pain in his heart by keeping this secret from the captain and the others. Somehow, he thought his actions might ease his guilty conscience and help atone for his complicity in not speaking up against the misdeeds of the New Republic, even when it cost the life of his son.
Drexel was glad the idea came to him to cover up the tunnel entrance and make it look like a fresh grave. That was how he wanted to honor the memory of Orin, his young son who had never been given a chance for a satisfying life. He thought, "I hate this so-called New Republic! It's just a cruel farce! If I ever do find these recusants, I will do what I can to help them!"
It took Drexel about half-an-hour to find the branches, size them, create a mesh below the trap door, fill the mesh with enough branches to keep the dirt from falling through to the cave below, and, finally, fill the space between the mesh and the trap door with firmly-pressed-down dirt. He did the whole thing with his bare hands, covered only by his gloves. He then washed his hands with water from his canteen and wrapped his gloves in the small plastic bag he carried to dispose of personal trash and leftovers from his packed lunch. Drexel was meticulous this way and did all he could to keep from polluting the environment.
The Hiding Place 11/7 11/25 12/17
In the meantime, the girls trudged along, one weary step at a time. The storm and tornado had created a real obstacle course for them with felled trees and broken branches covering part of the landscape. Even though the weather was cold and damp, they found themselves sweating under the load of their bulging backpacks. Yet none of them complained.
Before they reached the first mile, Hope buckled under her load even though her backpack was the lightest among the girls. Her weaker frame just couldn't take it any longer. She told the other girls, "I'll be okay! I just need to catch my breath and rest a minute!"
Holly accurately assessed the situation and knew they needed to significantly lighten Hope's load. Before she had a chance to say anything, Sarah quickly approached Hope and knelt beside her. She quietly spoke, "Let me take some of your things. It would be my honor." She took what she could from Hope's backpack. Courage and Holly followed suit, with Holly taking the slightly larger load. Between the three of them, Hope's burden was now halved.
After resting a few more minutes, the girls continued their trek. Although it was by no means easy, they all knew what they had to do. That old expression, "Just do it!", resonated in their minds and expressed their determination. It was a slogan that had been passed down after first being popularized over a hundred years earlier. They pushed themselves through sheer determination for half mile further before Sarah, Courage, and Hope had to take another break. Holly, being the leader that she was, chose to keep soldiering on. "That cavern must have been more like two miles away!" she thought, as she slowly and resolutely moved toward their destination.
Holly had visited this small cavern a few times before, but her last visit had been more than a year ago. She thought she remembered a large stone in front of a massive boulder obscured by thick underbrush. Holly was accustomed to hardship, and, wanting to give herself a little extra time to reconnoiter and pave the way for the others, she pushed through her need for rest. After continuing for another ten minutes, she was greeted by a wall of tall pine trees aligned in a horseshoe pattern partially encircling what appeared to be a massive rock. Thick underbrush filled the space between the two pine trees that marked the ends of the horseshoe. She vaguely remembered the pattern of trees, so she deposited her backpack and Hope's gear in front of the clump of underbrush.
After removing a torch from her backpack, Holly made her way through the underbrush and found the cavern entrance, hidden by a round stone. She was amazed that Michael had found the large round stone as she remembered how he had rolled it into place. With her strength almost spent, she was barely able to roll the stone away, and she was thankful when the four-foot-high opening to the cavern was cleared. She then lit her torch and stepped through the narrow opening. Once inside, the cavern ceiling expanded to a spacious height, varying between eight and ten feet.
Although it was a little stuffy and damp inside, everything seemed okay. As she looked around, she noticed that the back of the cavern had a natural rock formation composed of stalactites and stalagmites that could serve as a wall dividing it into two approximately equal parts. She was thankful for the barrier, knowing it would give the girls the privacy they needed. Satisfied, Holly made her way out of the cavern and pushed her way through the underbrush. She was bushed and immediately sat down next to her backpack.
"Hi, Holly!" Michael was cheerful as he spoke. The other team members were right behind him.
"Long time, no see!" Jack joked as he dropped his tree branch and removed his backpack. He was thankful to have caught up with the rest of the team. His strength was drained after covering everyone's tracks and carrying a backpack. Michael and Nathan had already removed their backpacks and were helping the girls with their gear. As Holly could see, everyone was tired. But they had made it!
"I was able to roll away the stone and checked out the cavern. Everything seems okay, and I think it will work for us. The rear of the cavern is divided almost equally by a wall of stalactites and stalagmites. Ladies, you can choose which part you want for your sleeping quarters. When we have time, we can choose our personal spaces in the back of the cavern and disperse things accordingly.
"I would like you guys to carry our equipment and leave it in the middle of the cavern. I will take the ladies and we will scrounge around to find something for us to eat. I think we can find some fruit and nuts, and an assortment of edible plants or roots. We will need to keep a low profile and ration our food supply for at least the next several days because Grinders and soldiers are likely to be searching the area." Holly did not always use the right terms when referring to things, sometimes calling a guard, a soldier; or a small cavern, a large boulder. The others usually were able to figure out what she meant.
Holly led the ladies into the cavern to claim their sleeping quarters. Observing a trickle of water flowing from a small crevice in the rock and pooling to form a natural basin was enough for the girls to choose the right half. When they stepped outside, Holly suggested, "Hope, why don't you come with me? Courage and Sarah, you go to the left. Hope and I will go to the right. Remember these horseshoe trees and be back here within fifteen minutes. We don't want to press our luck!"
As the boys were coming out of the cavern, Holly hollered, "We claim the right half!" With a twinkle in her eye, she turned to Jack and said, "You guys can have what's left!"
"That was a good one, Holly! I must be growing on you!" Jack replied with a grin.
While Jack was returning to pick up another backpack, he could not suppress a chuckle as he raised his voice, "Holly, we have this giant horseshoe for good luck! What more do we need? Have fun, ladies! But remember, this time it's up to you to bring home the bacon!"
By then, Michael and Nathan reappeared to grab a couple more backpacks. As the boys headed back into the cavern, the ladies split up. They were confident they would not return empty-handed.
It did not take long for the boys to bring in the rest of the backpacks and supplies. They took their personal gear and made themselves comfortable in what was left in the back of the cavern.
"I hope Tim is doing okay. I hope he comes back soon. I really miss the guy!" Jack said. The others nodded in agreement. Exhausted, they crashed. Before long, all three were snoozing away.
The ladies returned a short time later, laden with an assortment of nuts, berries, and edible plants and roots. They were too tired to eat. Realizing the boys were already down for the count, they retired to the better half and chose their personal spaces. Soon after, they were also snoozing away. As Holly was drifting off to sleep, she hoped Tim would return soon. She really missed the guy.
Puzzling Progress 11/7 11/13 11/25 12/17
Tim hoped to return home soon. As he ended his short prayer in the mysterious cave, he had an idea. He thought he should try to put together the pieces of the puzzle that he had been given and try to understand what was missing. Searching for clues to help him know what to do next, he began listing the things that came to mind.
· The mysterious cave and the old leather book
· The handwritten words in the back of the book
· The secret library and computer files, and what they revealed
· The light that guided him to the current cave
· What his research had discovered
· The most unusual dream he had last night
· The two Hebrew words that appeared in the dream.
· The revelation he had that God was real
As he considered these things, a strategy began to take shape. Tim thought he should first find a way to translate that old leather book into his own language so that he and the others could understand it. He believed the book contained vital information that would help in their quest. The two words that he saw in his dream also seemed especially important. He recollected they were the Hebrew words for "light" and "life." The characters that formed those words resembled some of the characters in the first part of the book, but the rest of the book was written using completely different characters. For him, it was a mystery that remained to be solved. The stakes were high, and he did not feel he had a lot of time left to unravel the mystery. But it became clear to him that a library might have tools to help him translate the book.
Now he had a plan for continuing his quest! He felt good that he had made significant progress, realizing God had brought him to this point. Sensing it was now time to go back and tell the others, he believed they could help him gain access to a library and the computer files he would need. He also sensed the keys to translating that book could be found in the secret library he had previously visited.
Tim gathered his things and left the cave, cautiously listening and watching for signs of Old Thunder or other dangers that might be lurking nearby. As he stepped out of the cave, everything looked safe. Aware that he had been lost, he had no clue how he could retrace his steps, but he believed it might not be necessary. If only he could get his bearings and work his way out of the forest to return to familiar ground! He felt hunger pangs, and finding something to eat became a top priority. He resolved to do both at the same time.
Tim was now convinced that his greatest discovery was that God is real and that He had brought him this far. So, he prayed again, "Dear God, thank You for giving me clarity in what I need to do next. Please help me find my way back to familiar surroundings so I can head home. I would also appreciate it if You would lead me to where I can get something to eat because I'm really hungry and am out of food. Thank you. In Yeshu's Name. Omen."
After praying, Tim's attention was drawn to the light that was coming through the trees. He knew that the sun rises in the east and discerned that the light he saw was caused by the early morning sun. He took a pocket compass out of his backpack and checked the bearings. This confirmed a more precise direction than just that the light was coming out of the east. He headed in the direction of the light and planned to periodically check his compass for extra precision. Because he remembered entering the forest in the afternoon when the sun was shining brightly over the trees, he silently thanked God for giving him a plan to find his way home.
Tim was so focused on finding his way back home that he had suppressed everything else that got in the way. Now that he had a plan, the cuts that he had experienced from the bramble bushes were making their effects known. He prayed again, asking God for wisdom and for a way to lessen the pain from the cuts and promote their healing. He realized he would have to alter the timeline for his trip home to allow his legs time to heal. His goal was now to simply find some food and something to prevent his legs from getting infected and to help them heal.
End of Book 1
APPENDIX
QuillPen
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
QuillPen is a character in one of the author’s short stories and is his pen name for fiction books that appeal to teens, children, and adults. He has served as a Super Administrator for the Christian Youth Chess Team (CYCT) on Chess.com, the world’s largest online chess club with over twenty million members. His job has been to help provide leadership and direction for over five hundred club members, ages nine to 18.
The author’s writing style is influenced by his Christian worldview. He gives a short testimony here, but you can read more on his Web site at http://a-disciples-journey.com/the-fellowship-of-the-king.html.
I grew up in a large family, the third of seven children and the only son. My parents were good moral people who had a strong work ethic. Mom worked rotating shifts for the federal government to help support the family. Dad was partially disabled, did house repairs, and managed the finances. He was also “Mr. Mom.” He was a master storyteller who made up fascinating stories and shared his real-life experiences with us.
My sisters and I followed in our parents’ footsteps, developing a strong work ethic and good moral character. My older sisters and I often walked to Sunday school. As a young child, I had positive experiences attending a Lutheran VBS and Sunday school. As a teenager, two kind businessmen who were brothers taught my Christian Science Sunday school class.
In high school, a classmate, David, stood out because he always carried a big Bible and liked to talk about Jesus. I tried to avoid him. Through God’s providence, we became college roommates. He got up early every morning to read the Bible and pray. He also drove the pastor’s van to pick up children from trailer parks to take to Sunday school. David’s life and prayers were instrumental in leading me to a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. Following Jesus isn’t easy, but I know I will wind up in the right place. I hope you will too.
ABOUT THE BOOK
Escape from Dystopia - Finding Hope in a Very Dark World is allegorical in nature and is planned to be a trilogy of three books: Book 1 The Journey Begins, Book 2 Unraveling the Mystery, and Book 3 The Road Less Traveled Leads Home.
This series was motivated by a desire to reach young people and offer them hope to help them as they transition through life in incredibly challenging times. This hope has substance and is designed to link with active faith, resulting in genuine love – for themselves, for God, and for others.
OTHER BOOKS BY THE AUTHOR
Escape from Dystopia - Finding Hope in a Very Dark World Book 2 Unraveling the Mystery
This book begins where Book 1 ends and chronicles the adventures, dangers, and challenges of the recusant teens as they continue their quest to solve the mystery that will enable them to find a way out of their dystopian society into a longer and more fulfilling life. Chapter titles are as follows:
Book 2 - UNRAVELING THE MYSTERY
13 --- Sick and Almost Dead
14 --- Compassion Reborn
15 --- The Encounter
16 --- The Joining
17 --- The Resolution
18 --- Divergent Paths
19 --- The Dilemma
20 --- A Meeting of the Minds
21 --- Praying without Courage
22 --- The Catacombs
23 --- Convergence
24 --- The Decision
25 --- The Searchers
26 --- The Breakthrough
A Disciple's Journey: 26 Devotional Studies to Draw You Closer to Jesus.
A Disciple’s Journey: 26 Devotional Studies to Draw You Closer to Jesus was the author’s first book, and it was written to help the reader become a better disciple of Jesus Christ. This book is three books in one. First, it has twenty-six extended devotionals which can be completed in a month. Second, it has twenty-six devotional studies which can provide a foundation for the Christian life and can be completed in six weeks to six months. Third, it includes a one-year plan to identify and develop twenty-six godly habits – one for each devotional study – through the guidance and power of the Holy Spirit.
It is a tool a pastor can use to help his congregation mature as Christians and can be used in small groups or individually. In a six-week group, participants will read five devotionals and the corresponding questions per week and interact with each other based on what they have read. Those who are interested can continue to meet and take a year to get maximum benefit from the course. This will help them develop stronger relationships with the Lord and each other through encouragement, sharing, and prayer support. To find out more, go to www.a-disciples-journey.com.
The Amazing Adventures of Poly, The Amazon Parrot – Book 1 “When Christmas Comes Twice”
This book started with the first chapter, “Polytics,” as a stand-alone short story. The second chapter, “No More Polytics,” was written as a sequel. Both were published and well-received by the Christian Youth Chess Team (CYCT) on Chess.com and by Nextdoor.com. This book is the first book in a planned trilogy which will take Poly, a bright teenager, and a Sam, a six-year-old boy who never knew his father, through separate phases of life, each with its own challenges. Poly is a single youth through Book 1. He learns about married life and rising to the top of the pecking order in Book 2 and fulfills his calling and ultimate destiny in Book 3 – but not without the help of Polly Anna and Sam who are also on their own journeys to maturity and an amazing destiny.