i like it..but first!
you know when you are trying to think of something but then something completely different pops into your head?
Heimdalür
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you mean,
like when I'm trying to remember where my hat is,
but then I accidentally get drunk for 4 days straight?
or, like when I'm trying to figure out what the square root of 81 is,
but I can only think of rim jobs?
Why Is August 23rd unlucky?
No one gets married, buried or betrothed on August 23rd. No one organises a barbecue, goes hunting or celebrates a birthday on that day..if they are born on August 23rd they celebrate on the 22nd or 24th. This date is annually shunned and regarded as the unluckiest day of the year.
Why?
The reason goes back to 1107 and the crusades, but also to an outpost army called The Oldvirke. In 1107 the Crusaders, who had taken it upon themselves to hack to death anyone who didnt embrace Christianity, briefly tried their luck on Oldgard. Oldgardians organised defensive armies throughout the country, one of these being The Oldvirke who had to defend a pivitol river crossing. Their job was to halt the advance of the crusaders before they could cross the river and reach a group of small, undefended farming communities.
Holed up for several weeks, the valiant defenders ran out of food supplies and were beginning to get too weak to fight. The farmers loaded up a raft with food, blankets and fresh water and devised a rope and pulley system to get the supplies across the river..so far, so good. The dispatch of supplies took place as dawn broke on..you guessed it, August 23rd. An archer called Sigmund, having had a sleepless night, was practicing archery with flaming arrows at the riverside, the arrows landing safely in the water. He heard a noise that he thought might be a bear and swivelled at a 45 degree angle and fired his arrow. By an immense and unfortunately unlucky coincidence his arrow struck the main pulley rope of the raft(i cant emphasize enough how unlikely this was). The rope burned, broke and the raft of supplies floated down the river and sank. This left our band of brothers without food and, with nowhere to retreat to, largely at the mercy of a bunch of blood thirsty and bonkers crusaders. They all died.
Since then, August 23rd has been unlucky. It is also why Oldgard shuns religion and Christianity in particular.
all that while i was trying to think of a good bachelor party ☺
I like the story, you're particularly good at convincing detail.
The only thing that needs to change is the date. Ölgard doesn't use the european calendar.
23-AUG would be SöN-82
ok..i can live with that..sorry, Olgard, not Oldgard.
This date also gave rise to the maxim.."never shoot your arrow before dawn", which means always weigh up the facts before action.
ha!
I bet teenage boys use it differently...
i did think of that too 😆
Anniversaries
When a couple, married or not, are in a long term relationship, they celebrate every 5th anniversary.
After 5 yrs the man makes the woman a necklace from a soft, easily manipulated metal called Ironease which is mined in a mountain region of Olgard.
After 10 yrs he makes a "charm" to hang on the necklace. This can take the form of a heart, a moon, a cross, a dagger, a wolf (if he's ambitious) , a star, or any other shape that holds meaning for the couple.
After 15 yrs he makes another charm, and another after 20 yrs. If a couple make it to 25 yrs, the man has a gold replica made of the necklace which is then "complete"..thus giving rise to the maxim "its a gold necklace day".
In return, the woman makes an offer of "bedroom or kitchen", a really special meal or some great sex..his choice. If they no longer find each other sexually attractive and she is a bad cook, they can always fuck off to a hostellery and get pissed.
The Haunted Caves of Ikmar
When a person is asked if they enjoyed something, and they didnt, the response is sometimes "like the haunted caves of Ikmar". Here's why.
The haunted caves of Ikmar are situated on a remote mountainside overlooking the sea. It is customary for adventure seekers, teenagers and participants in stag do's to visit the caves "for a lark". The various responses to this have been to a. say they are a bit eerie but not haunted, b. there were noises but those were probably bats and c. please dont ever make me go back, spoken in a very shaky voice and accompanied by a quiet whimper.
The caves were once used for smuggling due to their remote location and position by the sea. Smugglers would use pulleys to haul their contraband up the cliff face and store it in the cavernous enclaves which provided ideal protection from the elements, so much so that the smugglers would live there for short periods of time. One night, the smugglers were sleeping soundly in the cave when an unusual but not entirely impossible earth tremor caused the cliff above the cave to collapse. Many tons of rubble dropped down blocking the entrance to the cave and trapping the men inside. No one knew they were there, no one heard their screams for help and one by one they died a slow, agonising death in the darkness.
The caves were opened up by geologists in the 18th century and human bones were found strewn over the caves, with evidence of cannibalism and fingers worn to torn shreds trying to dig.
It is a protected site and people pay a deal of money to spend the night there..probably because of the "high" they get when it stops.
Heimdalur And The Virus
The Caronavirus, supposedly contracted by a Chinese guy who put bat droppings in his sandwich, had spread throughout the world. Olgard, protected by the fact its only air port and sea port were on nearby Heimdalur, had yet to see any cases but Heimdalur was more infected than a prostitute's crotch with the death toll rising daily. The Krown in Olgard was doing nothing to help and, instead, had tightened its borders against people fleeing the virus and seeking sanctuary. To be fair, the rejection of large numbers of people fleeing a life threatening situation in their homeland was a recognised human response..empathy be damned. The citizens of Heimdalur were getting, to put it mildly, a bit cheesed off and were rapidly running out of food, medical supplies, and patience. One citizen was heard saying "if that f*cking white raven flies in any more circles its going to make itself sick".
It was agreed that Olgard sitting in comparative comfort behind its borders while Heimdalur went to hell in all sorts of hand basket was no longer acceptable.
A representative from the Crime Syndicate, the Drug Cartel, the gamblers, the necromancers, the astronomers, the traders, the pirates, the gypsies , the vigilantes and, against popular opinion but heh, an astrologer were dispatched to Olgard on a night boat to petition the Krown but , if they got no joy, to stove his head in.
I should deviate here to tell you about the astrologer. His name was Bluntwit Starward and he carried his maps of the stars everywhere. This will become relevant later.
At the palace of the Krown, the crime syndicate rep and the drug cartel rep pulled daggers on the guards and threatened instant castration, which, they promised would not be their first rodeo, and the band of mismatched miscreants was allowed in. The Krown was full of guards and men with thermometers (no, i made that up) but suffice to say, the delegate were not welcome and were about to be outnumbered and thrown in the sea. The Krown had been secretly quite relieved that Heimdalur might get wiped out because they were quite a handful. At the moment that a deadly silence fell..both sides in a deadlock but the situation looking hopeless for Heimdalur...Bluntwit dropped his book.
The guards startled, and the Krown demanded to know what had been dropped. Bluntwit stuttered that it was his book of star maps because he was an astrologer. Everyone rolled their eyes except the Krown who was a huge believer in Astrology and demanded to have his chart read.
Bluntwit stepped forward and said "This week you will have to make a big decision which could have huge ramifications".
"What else?" demanded the Krown
"opportunities may come your way that should not be missed"
"What else?" asked the Krown
"And" said Bluntwit "you may start viewing a friend in a new light".
The Krown was so impressed and excited that he told the delegate they could go, take medicine and food back with them and have access to the best doctors if he could keep the astrologer. Everyone readily agreed.
On the way back, the Crime Syndicate rep said, "You do realise Bluntwit makes the same prediction for everyone every week?"
Everyone nodded.
the Caves of Ikmar, would be a good name for the black market as well, or anything you aren't supposed to have.
like the kid's would say "I got an Ikmar ID" or those illegal TV decoder boxes could be called "Ikmar channel"
instead of people saying "it fell off the back of a truck" they would say "I found it in a cave"
sadly, the virus story won't do.
Ölgard is a completely possible place. And this story is too fantastical. I like the fantasy component of the hisrtorical stories, because that's the way history is, clouded by the mists of time.
(I've had the odd chance to enjoy listening to stories that young soldiers have told me they heard about me. They make me sound like a super hero ... and I put very little effort into correcting them)
so a few things about the plague on Heimdalur;
-the resident's of Heimdalur are not citizens. They are mostly criminals and refugees from every corner of the globe. While Ölgard does not discourage them, they are promised NOTHING. And that is what they are currently receiving.
-all Ölgardian citizens who may be on Heimdalur or may have been any where on earth, are permitted to enter voluntary, COMPLETE, isolation at Fort Vichy on the island of Miquelon. After 30 days with no symptoms they may board a ferry to Ölgard.
-non-citizens are "personas non grata" as far as the Krown is concerned. They are free to go to their home countries and seek medical care.
-the waters between Ölgard and Heimdalur are intensley patrolled even when there is no global crisis. At this time, any unexpected sea traffic would be sunk on site, without warning.
-the closest point of land on Ölgard is the ferry/rail transfer station (just called Boattrain).
-Boattrain is about a 200km walk to the closest city. And about a 300km walk to the seat of the Krown.
-the seat of the Krown is merely ceremonial (like yours) except that the King or Queen is appointed as an honourary monarch.
instead of saying "is the pope catholic?", they say "are the caves of Ikmar haunted?"
so.....
I think Heimdalur is in a complete crisis. Ölgardians aren't terribly fond of travel. And the ones that are typically stick to Ölgardian cruise ships. They have Ölgardian speaking crews, familliar food and customs etc. They also can return home by sea, bypassing Heimdalur.
The airport and sea port on Heimdalur are completely shut down. All transports and crew moved home. Small security teams patrol the fences. No one else.
This means no food, or supplies of anuy kind are moving into Heimdalur.
There are great amounts of rioting, looting, fighting, and starvation as well as deaths from corona. Pleople are building boats and rafts, trying to get to Canada or the usa. Internet scams about miracle cures are flooding out of Heimdalur cyber cafes. And international crime syndicates are sending rescue boats and planes trying to save (at a million dollars a seat) high level mobsters from dozens of syndicates.
The usa is using this opportunity to try to arrest them. So american coast guard ships are patrolling the waters VERY close to the line, and often crossing it. Ölgard will not stand for this.
fathamster wrote:
instead of saying "is the pope catholic?", they say "are the caves of Ikmar haunted?"
if the Ölgard education system is doing it's job, they'll say "what's a pope?"
"what's a catholic?"
the answer of course, is "an ancient italian superstition, that is still clung to in some undeveloped nations"
maybe special costumes?
how about a proposal cloak? with a boquet of bog cotton.
a person would walk through the town on market day, in their special proposal garb, and crowds would follow to see who the "lucky" one is. A yes means a spontaneous street party. A no means the exact same thing but for very different reasons!