Hilarious Bug Conversations

A few days ago, I wanted to satirize a funny Bug exchange of words. And I held off. Maybe not that funny.

Here's the punchline... my team member is berating me for not giving him pieces. (Usually I'm berated for giving-up too much due to my beginning experiences playing with more experienced players who alternate telling me "feed" and "sit." -- So, I feed, then sit if I don't have pieces to hold off an attack, unless I can go on an attack, then I start yelling: "FEED ME!")

In any case, I'm berated, and, rather than ignore any try to play, I respond.
Such that I'm down on time.

Punchline:
We win on time.

Turns out, the other team's opponent (my team member is playing the other guy) is laughing so hard at our exchange that he forgets to play, and we win on time.

This is why (public) communication is valuable in Bughouse. Not only do you learn and know about the other team's strategy, but, like other team sports: You get to distract them with BS related (or not related) to strategy.

I can't make the point any other way.
I can't make that point any better, let alone any other way.
Communication is key... even if it distracts your opponent from their thought.
It's not like (sports) teams aren't watching the other's side-line or aware of their typical strategy and tactics. (And, sometimes in bughouse, there's nothing you can do against a better rated or prepared team.)

It goes something along the lines of:

Team Member: "Yo, give me pieces."

Me: "I can't force the Italian Fascist to do something he doesn't want to do." (trade / exchange pieces)

... some other (BS) conversation ... 

Me: "You won't like it... if I play the sacrifice-way, people in Bughouse hate me for sac'ing."

Team Member: "I can see why."

My Opponent: "^"

(In other words, my opponent, the guy I'm playing against agrees with my team member... Y'all just freaking hate me no matter how I play. Whatever. Play on.)

... and the trash-talk continues ... 
(I'm down on time, obviously.)

So, here I am laughing, and just a few moves later:
"cwfrank and TeamMember win on time"

And I'm like... wait... WTF happened? Turns out, my opponent's team member was laughing so hard at the exchange that he lost track of time, forgetting to play, and... we won.

I <3 Bughouse.

LOL lets be partners

Today's Episode:

My opponent says: "Gimme X"

And El Gilbert-o (my opponent's team mate) says and does nothing helpful or productive.

I glanced at the other board, and, saw it... my opponent was right, I'd be screaming:
"Give me the X, Give me the X!"

So, I talk trash...
"In the United States, 'Gilbert' is a name given by those in the mid-west. It's like Kashmir in India."

I don't know what I'm saying... the "stereo-typical" mid-west accent is a slow-drawl type of speech (typically the butt of jokes, not too bright, etc). I only read news about conflict in the "autonomous" Kashmir region of India (petty squabbles with some other nation, I think Pakistan). Don't mind me, I'm just a dumb Amurican.

And then "Gilbert" grabs a queen when I'm just totally not seeing it... ding, dang, done... CheckMate. (My opponent check-mates me.)

But not before seeing the note from El Gilbert-o:

"My parents were from India."

Those moments...
... when your trash-talk back-fires ... 
(in a bad way)

I <3 Bughouse.

LOL.

Not much to contribute to this thread. Nothing quite special has happened (yet) LOL.

I made a horrible mistake in my youth. In fact, I made many horrible mistakes.

That said, one of my worst mistakes in the past few years has been having nothing to say, and isolating myself from other people. It kinda sucks.

If Bughouse is my only outlet for having some fun... where sometimes you have to be self-deprecating... so be it. And I mean this seriously. When I quote lyrics or screw with other people in the middle of a match... I know someone might complain... but, goddamnit, BugHouse is a TEAM SPORT (I believe in communication, period, win, lose or draw).

And sometimes talking trash is part of that.

For example:
One night I was drinking and got a little too out of hand, and started asking a bunch of Russian players I kept coming up against if they didn't have anything better to do, such as wave flares at Polar Bears. (This, via news that some Northern Polar Bear station had run out of flares to wave the polar bears off like planes on a runway.) -- See, now, partial humor... but it got one of them to resign a game because they couldn't take the bad humor. On the other hand, I could have been talking (trash) about how Trump and Putin tea-bag each other behind closed doors. Instead of Polar Bear Flares garnering a complaint, I could have been accused of... well... stating the obvious.

Sometimes you talk trash and win.

Sometimes you talk trash and lose (and have to say mea culpa).

Bughouse is the great equalizer, where a single drop (pawn-mate) can screw you over no matter how bad you think you are right up until... oh, crap, have to eat my words, and I'm not as special as I once thought I was.

I'd rather be able to say "mea culpa" than not have anything to say at all.

And sometimes nothing need be said, except:

GG.

Hehehe,  I agree with that. The thing is, nowadays, I completely forget that there's a main chat. I'm too focused on speaking in the private chat. However, I will make an effort to trash talk more often and possibly get banned! The second part of the previous sentence was in jest...maybe ?

wish I had communication like you while playing

varunpoduval: frank if i play i get mate

ChessMN16: Play then

Frankwho: just move

varunpoduval: u wish to lose

Frankwho: no just move

Frankwho: before you lose on time

LOL

That's good. (Funny, especially since my last name is Frank.)

But what's the punchline? (Who won, who lost, why, how, etc?)

We would naturally assume 'varunpoduval' lost, but... sometimes things get funny where the trash talker gets mate.

Bad Vibes... when you want to play, but your opponent won't move and your team member is on your arse... "tacticalpwnage" is my team member, and my opponent is not moving.

cwfrank: need pawn

tacticalpwnage: theres your pawn

cwfrank: got it, thx. 

tacticalpwnage: won his queen

tacticalpwnage: bro

tacticalpwnage: you ahve so much material

cwfrank: Can't play if my op doesn't move.

cwfrank: What you want me to do.

cwfrank: Digital slap with 101010101

cwfrank: ?

tacticalpwnage: just dont lose

tacticalpwnage: you suck pretty bad

cwfrank: Fat of the land, slap my biotch up.

cwfrank: Thx.

cwfrank: You'll lose, too, if I do.

cwfrank: Eat it.

cwfrank: See, my op ain't movin'

cwfrank: What you wnat me to do, 101010 slap the biotch?

tacticalpwnage: doesnt matter

tacticalpwnage: you should have mated him 3 times already

cwfrank: Well fork you in the bunghole, too.

So, what do you do in this kind of situation?

The only thing you can do... talk trash back to your trash talking team member. (Yes, I know I suck bad, but it ain't my fault my opponent won't move so I can consume the material you're feeding me. Maybe you've left the other team in fear of your prowess and they're running scared, stupified.)

IRL, OTB, people are talking at and to each other, saying stuff OTB... "Yo, c'mon make your move." Sometimes you reach across the board and slap your opponents, and sometimes you reach across the boards and make moves for your team member just to piss off the other team when you need a piece.

On the other hand, in El Digital Bastard-o, we've got "private chat," and we can't reach across boards to slap each other into moving or move pieces on our own team member's boards, etc.

Online it's impersonal, you can trash-talk your own team member. Because we don't have a real-life representation of boards and we're somehow expected to pull magical Leprechaun crap out of our butts when our own team members disagree with their own lacking attention span.

"you should have mated him 3 times already" -- Really? Feed me material, and then tell my opponent to move so that I can make my move. Don't breathe 1010101 fire up my butt about my opponent not moving, handle your own freaking game, eh? Then you can talk trash. I can't reach out over my ethernet connection to my router and over my ISP's network to wherever and digitally slap my opponent into paying attention and moving.

Lulz yeah we won that game, Frank.

Hehehhe tacticalpwnage, speak for yourself . "won his queen" It's not such a great feat sometimes...

I had another funny one yesterday.

Opponent to Team Member: "Hey, look at my awesome position!"

Team member looks... yep, it's awesome.

And I'm stalling. (I agree.)

Turn around, maybe 10 moves later... lame-duck assault, not paying attention, Bishop supports Queen drop in front of Mr. Awesome Position's king. Mate.

Yes, that's an awesome position.

A little while later, playing the same guy, same kind of situation... except this time around I'm goading him... "Hey, that's an awesome position you got." (But, I'm running his king around and forcing him to drop defend.) And then it ends the same way... all the while goading him about his awesome position.

That's the one thing about Bughouse... you can have an awesome position, and then the right combo of pieces to drop and attack can end it the opposite of the way you thought it was going to go. Always fun to have fun with this.

Maybe he was speaking about the theoretical strength of his position? Not everyone has to be a pragmatist, you know!

A hebephrenic episode with my partner:

Furope: noob move kid

Furope: good check

ChessMN16: Control the heavy stack of forties OK?

Furope: speak english please

Furope: WHAT IS FORTIES

ChessMN16: Stack overflow in the nineteenth fine?

Furope: english please

ChessMN16: THIRTY NUMCHUCKS AND A BUNCH OF SCHALLOPS!

Furope: smd

Furope: where my pieces

Furope: nooooob

ChessMN16: Curb a turbo jet when the lows are in the sea

Furope: where my pieces

Furope: idc what you say

ChessMN16: Check the dezinamagios

Furope: fc k u

ChessMN16: Also no fortuitous comebacks OK?

Furope: noob

ChessMN16: Thirty friggers I swear

Furope: swear on my butthole

ChessMN16: YES A NERF OF A SUMPTUOUS SALAMANDER

Uh, okay. I get part of that. Seems a bit (jokingly) contrived, though. Not sure what to think of the full context.

I guess that makes a good point I've neglected... game references become necessary.

On the other hand, your partner telling you... "where are my pieces" and berating you when s/he's 1300 or so, and you're ~1800 or so... that makes it all worth the while when you start talking 30's and 40's if you're talking about old-school chess notation.

Also, just a minor note / aside... leave private chats in the private chat room. (Like the US Las Vegas expression, or any other "What's said in private, stays in private.") If it's said in a private chat, leave it in a private chat (basic expectation of privacy, barring staff oversight). If it was public, and among more than 2 parties... always fair-game!!! (More fun.) 

$0.02 paid-in-full.

Hehehehe yeah it was a public chat. My partner just seemed to be acting...you know...so I thought I'd troll .

LOL! To all the funny comments. Gimme more!

I need to hear more of these funny things because my team member and I aren't the best. (We started playing it yesterday). I played it in reality, were you know how strong your team member is, but virtual (on the computer) is harder... I think...

My partner says this in the middle of a bughouse game.

After this shocking discovery he then decides to resign.

I ask him why he is playing bughouse.