bad poetry?
Pomp and Circumstance
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the "circle gate" or, hliðið, is a common sight in Olgard. People commonly build them in their yards, in parks and gardens, or hidden in nature to be discovered by others. Every city has an official hliðið, and each is a representation of the original, thousand year old gate, built below the high tide line at Oxvard.
Anyone who passes through a hliðið (man or beast) is forever free. And every Olgardian is prepared to sacrifice everything to protect that freedom.
fathamster wrote:
bad poetry?
you're the laureate. it's only bad if you say so.
The National Anthem
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Beer is what we're hoping for
Beer in peace and time of war
Olgard is awash with be-e-er
Fermentation of the hop
Ensures our warriors never stop
While they are awash with be-e-er
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Europeans brought disease
Which nearly killed us off with ease
But were we on our knees? No!
We do as we please!
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Beer, glorious beer
Good fare for the workers
No foe will come near
Cos they're shit scared of berzerkers
Undefeated on land and sea
Proud, noble are we
With beer
Wonderful beer
Fabulous beer
Glorious beer!
The Gnaw Gnuuk
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Children listen, children look
About you lest you be mistook
That sound, was it a crow or rook?
Or the sound of a waking
Gnaw gnuuk?
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Were you cold, did your teeth chatter?
Why look so scared, what is the matter?
The scary sound, the pitter patter
Claws on wood
The eerie clatter.
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In every cranny, every nook
The probing with his dragon hook
His stomach rumbles, how it shook
Now comes the ravenous
Gnaw gnuuk!
The Ballad of Olgard
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The Island Kingdom of Olgard
Employed a hamster as a bard
Then the reader to immerse
In (fairly awful) hamster verse.
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Olgard, named by Regi-Mental
(the hamsters poem will reveal)
Puts an umlaut on the O
To give a rustic, nordic feel.
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Normally, and this is a fact
As true as it is striking
You do not want to pick a fight
With your average kind of viking.
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Yet the Beothuk and the vikings
JHad made a peace pragmatic
And vikings are not greatly known
For being diplomatic.
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After many epic battles
On the shores and on the waves
They vowed Na Kirkje, Na thrall
No churches and no slaves.
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A flag as black as night have they
White circle within yellow sits
It represents the nations birth
At the time of the eclipse.
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Their enemies were the Miqmac
Innu and Christians, with
A grudge against Olgardians
Cos they think that God's a myth.
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A warrior nation proud and true
Against many a foe have stood
Their army came from warrior stock
And their boats are bloody good.
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Their monarch is a chosen one
Far and wide their good work reaches
Kissing babies and old ladies
Cutting ribbons, making speeches.
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Then came the european fleets
The fishes all to strafe
So the Olgards claimed them citizens
To keep the fishes safe.
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National Service is compulsory
So you won't get many tussels
Most men choose the army, cos
They like showing off their muscles.
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On the Island of St Pierre
The smugglers strut and gloat
But you can get round paying taxes
(Lewis Hamilton, take note)
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So sing your campfire songs about
The Island Kingdom of Olgard
And its very latest citizen
The noble hamster bard.
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There are no cars.
shit scared of berzerkers
is still the best line to appear in ANY anthem in history
The Circle Gate.
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Built from ancient rocks of old
Built by warriors strong and bold
It speaks of a gift worth more than gold
Come forth and you will see.
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A circle gate at Oxvard's shore
Is copied now and ever more
A noble symbol, and a door..
Step through, and you are free!
The Magic Mushroom Anthem
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Hoy! Hoy! Hoy!
Magic mushrooms heal divisions
Magic mushrooms give you visions
Magic mushrooms contemplating
What i am hallucinating
Magic mushrooms good as beer
Bringing magic mushroom cheer
Magic mushrooms arent assailable
Other mushrooms not available!
The Magic Mushroom Anthem can be chanted at the start of a party by everyone..especially the hoy, hoy, hoy bit so that any celebration starts off with everyone feeling part of things..?
Review of Gods of Thunder in the Olgard TV Review.
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The new series of GOT (that's Gods of Thunder NOT Game of Thrones which is an altogether different kettle of fish), reached a heady climax at New Year in an episode featuring Thor's dream whereby the Marvel Comic heroes joined together to fight the evil Trump. One wonders if the episode should have displayed a caveat that in no way was the Trump character based on anyone in real life, but hey ho..no nuclear attack so far. This series has been consistently top of the TV viewing figures since its appearance last October..this may be due to the excellence of the writing or because it was on on a Wednesday night when nothing else of any interest was showing. (Unless you are fascinated by Thai cooking or a documentary in Pilates for the over 60's..no, didnt think so.) The premis is a simple one..Thor and Zeus, ignominiously kicked from their subsequent relationshis, fall on hard times and end up sharing a flat. The eclectic addition of various Gods, Godesses and the unlikely angel Gabriel made a heady mixture which had us tuning in week after week. At halfway point when many sitcoms start to struggle with new ideas, Thor is presented with a son he didn't know he had, and the chaotic character of Conan revitalised the show..who can forget the kidnappers who paid Thor to take him back and which of you will ever set foot in IKEA again? In the New Year dream sequence the CGI guys could go crazy with special effects and the revelation it was a dream did not detract from the Dallas-esque format, otherwise known as 'desperation city'. As yet none of the characters have completely altered their appearance, gender or age as they have in so many other programmes of any length and all looks set for another series.
We are waiting on Mr R Mental to give the go ahead for series 2.
it's definitely the writing. I mean, name another country that has their poet laureate writing sit-coms...
the show probably "jumped the shark" with the dream sequence, but isn't that what makes sit-coms fun?
Is that yes to a second series?
yup
the executives here at ÖTV believe that another season is likely to be profitable.
A joke..there is an orgy at Olympus, all the gods are there. Thor meets a wood nymph and says "Im Thor". The wood nymph says "you're Thor? I'm so thor i can hardly pith".
very interesting drawing I stumbled upon
Photo: Universal History Archive/UIG via Getty Images
Anthems,
appointments,
rituals,
ceremonies....