Parents planning to adopt a child sometimes idealize the relationship—thinking that the child will always be sweet and that difficulties will be easily overcome and understood. But that is not usually the case, reports the Brazilian newspaper O Estado de S. Paulo. Says psychologist Heloísa Marton: “In general, parents are unprepared to deal with conflict situations.” Also in for a surprise are “couples who expect that the child will be eternally grateful,” notes Professor Miriam Debieux Rosa, of São Paulo University. No one is happy all the time, she points out, adding: “Parents often attribute difficulties to the lack of blood relationship, which is not true.” Regarding the parents’ need to show the adopted child affection and love, she states: “A helpful or professional relationship is not enough.” An emotional relationship with the child is also needed.
Relationships With Adopted Children
Parents planning to adopt a child sometimes idealize the relationship—thinking that the child will always be sweet and that difficulties will be easily overcome and understood. But that is not usually the case, reports the Brazilian newspaper O Estado de S. Paulo. Says psychologist Heloísa Marton: “In general, parents are unprepared to deal with conflict situations.” Also in for a surprise are “couples who expect that the child will be eternally grateful,” notes Professor Miriam Debieux Rosa, of São Paulo University. No one is happy all the time, she points out, adding: “Parents often attribute difficulties to the lack of blood relationship, which is not true.” Regarding the parents’ need to show the adopted child affection and love, she states: “A helpful or professional relationship is not enough.” An emotional relationship with the child is also needed.