This was very well done, Bill, and strong showing for your return. The Sgt Major repetition helps bolster the call-and-return aspect of soldiers on march.
I wonder how much personal experience went into this vs. input from your dad? He must've been quite a story teller to allow you to portray a WWI event (I'm guessing from trenches and no-man's land) as if you yourself were there.
I am a veteran, but even if I weren't I'm sure your poem would still be as effective for me. There is a "coarseness" about the syntax and verse that contributes to the sense of reality and memory combined. The poem brings to mind one of my favorites: The Charge of the Light Brigade. Well done!
Thanks Writch and IJReilly, my dad was a Regimental Sgt Major during WW2 and captured and held prisoner by the Germans for 3 years in Austria. he was awarded the Millitary Cross for bravery and was a big influence in my life. but the poem came to me after a saw a photo of a battle torn trench after the Somme, and as I always do in those sort of situations I put myself in the trench mentally and let the words flow from my heart.
Bill,
I really liked the way your work portrayed the complete reliance a young soldier has on his commanding officer, the needy innocence of a man trained to kill for his country. One small thing, after Sgt major takes a bullet, it threw me slightly that the stanza should end on the word cheers. Thank you.
Charlie
Hi Charlie, thanks for your comments "Cheers" is used in our modern time quite differently than it used to in this country back in the days of the first world war it meant "Goodbye" and it was pronounced "Cheerio". Bill
Sgt Major
I heard my country calling Sgt Major, and proud to be of service to the King
To defend my rights and yours Sgt Major, and bathe in the glory it will bring
Excuse us for a moment Sgt Major, as we wave goodbye to sweetheart’s friends and kin.
I feel fit and ready Sgt Major, so bring on England’s enemies and foe
Will it last very long Sgt Major? is there any time for prayer before we go?
As we cross the channel, Sgt Major you can teach me all that I will need to know.
Who do I shoot Sgt Major?, tell me where my rifle should be aimed
Where do I go Sgt Major? please order me, so I cannot be blamed
Am I doing right Sgt Major? I’m doing what you say, like I’ve been trained
I will Start to dig a trench Sgt Major, dig it deep so I will not be seen
It’s freezing bloody cold, Sgt Major, pitch black and did you hear that awful scream?
I’m knee deep in mud Sgt Major, trying to keep my kit and rifle clean
Please don’t blow that whistle Sgt Major, I can hear the bullets passing overhead
I’m scared and feeling sick Sgt Major, that soon I will lay among the dead
The flares bright light is falling Sgt Major, lighting up the no-man’s land we dread
I know it’s time to go Sgt Major, uncertainty and fear awaits us all
Are you scared like me Sgt Major? Not knowing what our future may befall
You order us to arms Sgt Major; every man will answer to your call
“Let’s av’e them” cried out the Sgt Major, our 303 rifles our only shield
“Show no mercy”, added the Sgt Major as we charged towards a muddy bloody field
“No quarter to be given” the Sgt Major said, a British soldier can’t be seen to yield
Ricocheting bullets, whizz past the Sgt Major, some causing others, pain and tears
Then the thud of a bullet the Sgt Major stopped, alone reminding us of all our fears
How silent the Sgt Major was, now calm amongst the shouting and the cheers!
Goodbye to all our Sgt Majors, in their new found homes abroad
Goodbye to friends and neighbours lost, by bullet bomb or sword
Goodbye to Sons and fathers, but not their memory
Goodbye the Un-known soldier, for your show of bravery.
Bill Currie. Proud Son of a Sgt Major.