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You might be an astronomer if..

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Eternal_Patzer
Eternal_Patzer
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May 27, 2009
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#1

  • you own a flashlight that shines red light
  • you have ever said, "Oh, be a fine girl, kiss me."
  • you can easily tell the difference between a meteor, an airplane, and a satellite
  • you think it's only natural to see the sun set when you wake up and rise just before you go to bed
  • you actually know the latitude of your home town, your college, and any other place you've been to more than twice
  • you bring a clipboard and red light with you on EVERY vacation
  • you snicker when someone complains about getting "only" six hours of sleep the night before
  • you know which moon in the Solar System resembles the Death Star
  • your family is tired of watching "Contact" over and over
  • you can see the Milky Way despite the light pollution of your home town
  • your favorite pastime when visiting beautiful spots in the countryside is measuring your Naked Eye Limiting Magnitude
  • you actually know how to measure your Naked Eye Limiting Magnitude
  • you've ever planned a trip to the moon to improve the "seeing"
  • you've ever considered blowing up the moon to reduce the light in the sky from the full moon
  • you've ever wondered how much you'd be fined if you blew out all of the streetlights on your street so you could see the stars better
  • you pronounce "Maria" with the emphasis on the first syllable
  • you consider a compliment to be the fourth variable star discovered in Gemini
  • you've ever called 1,000 years "very quick"
  • you pronounce "Messier" with a French accent
  • the phrase "onion skin" makes you think of a type II supernova
  • you can pronounce Chandrasekhar, Chicxulub, Schwarzschild, and Hyakutake
  • you wonder why no one else is awake at three in the morning
  • someone calls you a "wimp" and you wonder what dark matter has to do with anything
  • you've lost the ability to enjoy a beautiful sunset because you're too busy wondering if the clouds will clear
  • you think a "macho man" is a man who lives on Massive Compact Halo Objects
  • you can predict the weather based on your observing schedule
  • you think that the curvature of space-time is easier to understand than gravity waves
  • you snicker when someone complains about getting "only" four hours of sleep the night before
  • when someone casually wonders aloud how many planets out there might be able to support life you immediately think of the Drake equation
  • you consider anything except for hydrogen and helium a "metal"
  • you think the purpose of life is to study the sky
  • you know the difference between a comet and an asteroid
  • you've ever wondered what would happen if you detonated a nuclear bomb on Jupiter
  • you missed the sunset because you were taking flats
  • if North is drawn at the top of the page, you expect to see East on the left and West on the right
  • the last "dirty snowball" you saw was beautiful
  • you can convert from AUs to Angstroms
  • you consider an insult to be the fourth variable star discovered in Ophiuchus
  • you know what APOD stands for
  • you missed the sunrise because you were taking flats
  • you catch yourself saying things like, "You do realize that the coefficient of friction decreases exponentially as you step over the foul line, don't you?" while doing simple activities, such as bowling
  • after such a statement, someone had to explain to you why all your friends looked at you as though you could no longer speak English
  • words such as "retrograde", "logarithmic", "exponential", and "elliptical" are part of your everyday vocabulary
  • you can draw an H-R diagram from memory
  • you know what an H-R diagram is
  • you've ever said that you're made of stardust
  • the phrase "a mere billion years" is not a contradiction in terms
  • you consider dressing up as Carl Sagan for Halloween
  • you can spell Chandrasekhar, Chicxulub, Schwarzschild, and Hyakutake
  • you attend the local planetarium religiously
  • you know more than the person giving the planetarium show
  • you're actually jealous when you hear someone complain about getting "only" two hours of sleep the night before
  • you can refer to WINOs, MaCHOs, WIMPs, TOEs, and GUTs with a straight face
  • you don't know why you wouldn't refer to WINOs, MaCHOs, WIMPs, TOEs, and GUTs with a straight face
  • you've ever called 11 kilometers per second "very slow"
  • you know who Hertzsprung and Russel are
  • you can spell Hertzsprung
  • you've created countless mnemonics for the Harvard Spectral Class sequence even though you know the order backwards and forwards
  • you stay up until three in the morning on a cloudy night, because you actually saw a star at 11:00
  • you think in acronyms
  • you've ever convinced yourself that you could see the rings of Saturn naked-eye
  • you know all of the different stages of sleep deprivation
  • you know the entire Greek alphabet even though you've never had one class in Greek
  • you have a personal vendetta against the weatherman
  • you put on your application to JPL that you know how to use units correctly -- and that you can convert from cgs to SI
  • you "know" that Mount Olympus is on Mars
  • "pc" means neither "politically correct" nor "personal computer" to you -- it means parsec, of course
  • you know when the next meteor shower is
  • you think that -1 is bigger than 6 (it's brighter, anyway)
  • you know why you'd want to spell or pronounce Chandrasekhar, Chicxulub, Schwarzschild, or Hyakutake
  • you know the difference between a meteor, a meteoroid, and a meteorite
  • you have your own meteorite
  • you are envious when someone says they got ANY sleep during the weeks of August 11, November 17 or December 13
  • you know what is special about each of those three weeks
  • you plan your whole yearly calendar around those three weeks
  • you'd be willing to make yourself 20 years older just to have been in the Arizona desert in the early morning of November 17, 1966!
  • the most important event on August 11, 1999 had nothing to do with the moon and the Sun
  • your first reaction at seeing a fireball streak gloriously across the sky is to check your watch - or start counting
  • your claim to fame is that you've met Tom Bopp, or witnessed a shuttle launch
  • when someone mentions Jodie Foster you think of Eleanor Arroway
  • you know the difference between pulsing and pulsating
  • you haven't seen the sun in a month
  • you've ever entered into a debate about whether Pluto is a planet
  • you can see clouds in the dark
  • you have RAMSDIS Online as well as several local weather stations bookmarked on your home computer
  • you wonder why July 20th isn't a national holiday
  • you know how to pronounce Arecibo
  • you can give the mass of the sun, the average distance between the Earth and the sun, the location of the Earth-moon barycenter, the mass of a Hydrogen atom, and the value of the gravitational constant off the top of your head
  • you find yourself crossing your "h"s on a regular basis
  • you can tell what time it is by looking at the sky -- but only at night
  • you know the exact value of the speed of light
  • you can quote the exact value of an Astronomical Unit from memory
  • you can quote the distance of a parsec in Astronomical Units, from memory
  • you can quote the distance of a light year in Astronomical Units, to four decimal places, from memory
  • you've ever referred to a gigalightyear
  • your friends take it as a given that you're tired
  • you've ever decorated your room with a reproduction of your favorite portion of the night sky
  • you have the URL for the Astronomy Picture of the Day memorized
  • you know how to say "armpit" in Arabic
  • you've ever convinced yourself that you can see the four Galilean satellites naked-eye
  • you've ever debated whether Charon is a planet
  • terms like "Gamma UMa", "Alpha Boo", and "OU Oph" make sense to you
  • you use Polaris to find the Big Dipper
  • you know Greek and Roman mythology
  • you haven't slept in two weeks, but you stay up all night anyway because it is clear
  • you know what NASA stands for
  • you can give the nominative and genitive of all of the constellations
  • -- even though you have no idea what a "nominative" or a "genitive" is
  • you know the difference between a constellation and an asterism
  • you can pronounce Betelgeuse, Uranus, Charon, and Cassiopeia at least two different ways each
  • someone calls you a "liar" and all you can think of is Orpheus and his harp
  • you cancel a date because it is your night to observe
  • . . . and then it rains
  • you can list the four Galilean satellites in order of size, distance from Jupiter, or likelihood of life
  • the word "Messier" makes you think of galaxies, nebulae, and clusters
  • you can pronounce Bootes
  • you can point precisely to any first- or second-magnitude star, even though it is completely overcast
  • you can point precisely to any first- or second-magnitude star, even if the star is below the horizon
  • a well-meaning but ignorant friend has ever introduced you as an astrologer
  • this same friend has ever asked how your study of cosmetology was going
  • you've caught errors on this list (if so, please let me know)
  • your favorite part of the day is when you get to go to bed
  • this list made sense to you
  • you've ever made a list titled "You Might Be an Astronomer if..."
   

Eternal_Patzer
Eternal_Patzer
Show your flair!
May 27, 2009
0
#2

You set your watch in sidereal time....

Your wife wants a new car and all you ask is "Will the Dob fit in it?" ....

 

Your turn...

Yuyuuchan
Yuyuuchan
May 27, 2009
0
#3

I would like to do some of these things if not all of them.^_^

Eternal_Patzer
Eternal_Patzer
Show your flair!
May 27, 2009
0
#4

Yeah, I think the list might be a little too long.  Some of them are pretty funny, though.

Billium248
Billium248
May 28, 2009
0
#5

I enjoyed reading even the ones that didn't apply to me.  Funny list!!