If I was a chess piece, I would be a protected passed pawn.
If DrSpudnik was a chess piece, no doubt he'd be a bishop
If Yereslov was a chess piece, he would be the penny you used to replace the missing h-pawn.
The h pawn tends to win games more often than the bishop.
Luckily, the h pawn makes sure that opposition doesnt matter. This applies in all endgames. It doesn't even matter if you work with DrSpudnik, since you are black and he is white (see what i did there?).
Here is a rare example of the Joker helping the Penguin.
LOL: I once used a small ceramic cat figurine.
Oh here is another one.
If GreedyPawnGrabber was a chess piece, he would be the coffee stain on d4, d5, e4, e5, discouraging central action.
Not much else, I think Elubas is a knight.
If your playing against the french and want to include the move Qe2, try the reti gambit
He wouldn't hop though (that's not very dignified). Unless others were doing it...then he might try it once, just to see what it was like (although of course not to be doing things just because others are doing them)...
Elubas must be sad that he can not mate with another of his kind, and the king.
If I were a chess piece, I would be a Pawn that struggles all the way down the board to the enemy back rank and then gets promoted to a Pawn.
5...e5 6. Nxe4 Nc6 looks better.
Pawns can mate the king.