I’ve been following this thread. My initial hunch, (which has come full circle now) leaves only one solution to the underlying problem. Your answer: study the living daylights out of the Sicilian leaving no stone unturned. Put in the diligence and we’ll see you back on chess.com in 2 weeks😁
Anti-Sicilian Help

Anything in the Sicilian other than the open is garbage.
As a Sicilian player, I'd love to agree, but unfortunately, that is just not true.
No it's true

I am not comfortable with how open this leaves the King. What are some solid ways to play an “anti-Sicilian” that castles kingside but plays on the queenside?
Thanks! :)
As one that plays the Closed Sicilian myself, you should not fear the King. Often times, White does not play f4 in the 2...e6 lines while in the main line, 1.e4 c5 2.Nc3 Nc6 3.g3 g6 4.Bg2 Bg7 5.d3 d6, there are Two main lines. One of them is indeed 6.f4, but the center is usually closed in that line (similar to the Kings Indian Defense where Black can advance the kingside pawns due to the Closed nature). The King often goes to h1, off the open diagonal.
However, you should look into the 6.Be3 lines. Get Carsten Hansen's "The Closed Sicilian Move by Move and thoroughly study the first 28 games (not sure if that is the first 4 or first 5 chapters.)
I actually play both lines as White, though admittedly, I play Spassky's 6.f4 more frequently.

Which of these two is the easiest to play for White? The one which requires less memorized theory?
Both have probably similar amounts of theory. Alapin is more of a center-centered opening while the closed is a kingside attack-centered opening.

I wouldn't say it is a great opening. Also, what do you do if black doesn't play d6?
Bb5 is also good against 2 ... Nc6. Against 2. ... e6 (or the less common 2 ... g6) you'd need to find something else.
I can't say that I've found the Moscow terribly frightening as Black, but it does require more attention than some of the other anti-Sicilians. It's also very trendy at the highest levels right now, where White manages to make something from it at a reasonable clip.

But if black doesn't block with the bishop, they instantly equalize on the spot.
That doesn't seem to be the view at the highest levels these days. I'm not the person to propose how White plays for an advantage, but I do know that lots of GMs over the last five years or so have decided that White can.

Fighting the Sicilian With The Grand Prix Attack...
https://www.chess.com/blog/RussBell/fighting-the-sicilian-with-the-grand-prix-attack

The database will undoubtedly say that, over many years, Black has scored fine in the Moscow. I don't doubt that, but that's not my point. My point is that top-level players have recently resurrected versions of this line that they think yields an advantage. Do you doubt that they have done so or that they believe White's got something to play for here?
I can't speak to whether the stats bear out their optimism because I don't have a database that I can easily search for recent top-level games. If you do, feel free to let us know.
#15
Both Alapin 2 c3 and Closed Sicilian 2 Nc3 are positional and slower than the open Sicilian.
Sveshnikov was of the opinion that the Open Sicilian 2 Nf3 3 d4 is wrong as it trades central pawn d4 for wing pawn c5 and he insisted that 2 c3 is the right way.
You can also play a delayed Alapin: 1 e4 c5 2 Nf3 d6 3 c3 Nf6 4 Be2 Nc6 5 d4. Central pawn e4 is indirectly defended by the check Qa4+. It avoids the two main defences 1 e4 c5 2 c3 Nf6 and 1 e4 c5 2 c3 d5.