italian game or bishops opening
beginner openings

the Italian game is a good choice, and you cannot use them for black. For black i would respond e5 to e4, and to d4 i would choose d5. you should master these before moving on to other defences.

I would recommend 1.e4 e5 for both colours. As white against 1...e5 play 2.Nf3 and choose either the ruy lopez, the italian game, the scotch game, or the 4 knights. Then pick something to play against the sicilian (1...c5), french (1...e6), and caro kann (1...c6). Against the sicilian and caro kann you can either play mainline developing moves or play some less mainline stuff, but remember opening principles always. Against the french your best choices would be essentially the advance, exchange, or the mainline, (all starting with 1.e4 e6 2.d4 d5).
As black against e4 I would say play e5 and after 2.Nf3 play Nc6 for a ruy lopez or scotch, or play the petroff with 2...Nf6. If white is happy with a 4 knights, I would just go along with it as black. Against 1.d4 I would say play 1...d5 and if 2.c4 you can choose between a slav and a QGD. If 2.Nf3 you can play 2.Nf6 and just get developed.
I don't think you should really vary your openings for a while once you've found moves you like. If you play open games your opponents will keep things varied by playing different moves and you will learn a lot more concentrating on learning each of your favourite lines well rather than changing for the sake of variety. I don't mean actually learn lines of opening theory though, just ideas and patterns and strategies that go with your chosen moves. Then if you find you struggle with a certain move in an opening, just look that up and learn what to do against it.

My input would be to understand the opening principles first which are: fight for the center, play developing moves, avoid cramped positions, don't grab material, don't attack prematurely, and avoid creating weaknesses.
Understanding those principles or guidelines will help you in any opening of a game because a lot of us players at this level won't play the Dragon Variation of the Sicilian Defense, so it doesn't pay to memorize a variation 10 or 20 moves deep. They will diverge rapidly from a main line of an opening to avoid an established line which will test real chess judgement and skill. So learning what constitutes good play and a good position is very important.
The next step would be to then familiarize yourself with the openings so you can recognize them from each other and identify them. For instance, be able to tell the difference between a Sicilian and a Dutch, or between a Ruy Lopez and a Guioco Piano. This would be just a cursory review of all the openings.
The third step I would recommend would be to try to understand what each side in the opening is trying to achieve. Is it some particular pawn push and why? Is it queenside space? Is it an attack on the kingside? Is it a gambit to gain tempos on the opponent? Also try to learn some of the better known traps or tricks that players still fall into in the openings, like the Noah's Ark trap and the Fork trick.
Learning this and at the same time learning what strategies and tactics you like to apply in a game will help you pick openings that you will prefer to play and feel comfortable playing against an opponent. What I am comfortable playing in may be very different than what you like. You may like gambits, I may like positional play. You may like King's Pawn openings, I may like Queen's Pawn openings, etc.
I don't know what your chess library consists of but I have found these three books to be very useful for me: The Complete Chessplayer by Fred Reinfeld, Chess - Tactics and Strategies (aka The Mammoth Book of Chess) by Graham Burgess, and Chess Openings the Easy Way by Nick de Firmian.
The Complete Chessplayer, as the name implies is not a book focused solely on the openings, but gives a good, well rounded view and understanding of the major openings. There are only a few variations for each opening, but Reinfeld gives you his opinion on the opening, whether it is good or bad for White or Black, what the general strategy is, etc. It's a little outdated on some openings with the variations he gives (after all, it was first printed in the 1950's), but it helped me first learn openings and chess itself, and I still find it useful sometimes to understand the gist of an opening. Some of the openings that Reinfeld discourages you from playing have found new life lately, so it is helpful to know that, which is what the next book does.
The Mammoth Book of Chess is also not a specialized book on the openings, but gives you a good review of each opening, even some of the lesser known openings. He gives you the characteristic moves to that opening, then a paragraph or two describing the opening and his opinion of it, then a trap or two that might occur in the opening, then a strategic example of play in the opening. I find it useful, but he doesn't go into a lot of deep variations for any one opening (other than the one or two games as a strategic example).
After you think you know what you're doing and can recognize an opening, then Chess Openings the Easy Way is a good book to have. It's mainly a reference book and gives you multiple variations and lines for the vast majority of openings. There's still some text to help guide you on the strategies and plans, but it's mainly written in chess notation. This is the best book for us mortals that I've found that's in this style. It's laid out well, with at least all the subvariations for a variation of an opening on the same page, and some minor openings are on a single page which makes it easy to tackle and learn that opening if you plan to use it.
But always remember that there's someone else across the board making decisions too and he may not play what's in any of these books! Then you're on your own to determine a strategy and apply tactics and combinations that will defeat his good or bad, but still original, plans.

btw, you mentioned not memorizing 10-20 moves deep. How far ahead should I plan on before a line may stray. Just in general, of course. 5 or 6?

Knowing an opening 5 or 6 moves deep is fine. It would give you a good idea of what each opening is trying to do. Then try to understand what the general idea is beyond those moves.
But some players will diverge or stray from the main line quite early and it is very good to have the guidelines in mind and analyze the tactics available on the board so you can make a good solid move if they make a dangerous but unsound move, or a really weak move, or an interesting and untested move.

perp124,
I'm not recommending to you a specific opening. But have at least a passing familiarity with them all so you can find which ones you like and that suit your style of play.
Gambitking, for instance, likes gambits and has chosen some very dynamic and interesting lines to focus on. These could be very good in a 5 minute game, but he is assuming that his opponent will agree to falling into those lines with him and then won't have enough time or skill to defend when a pawn or even a piece up against him.

I understand. I guess what I'm really after would be a few suggestions to start with. So I don't have to memorize a whole book. See a few of the earlier posts. Some guys just metioned a couple names, not so much as to how they play. Right now I would ike to be able to at least appear like I have clue when I play. It seems that I get lost or panic after the 3rd or 4th move. Even when playing white, I always feel like I'm playing defense. You were really "in depth general" (lol, does that even exist). But i printed your post to refer to. so, thx mm.
I read some good advice a long time ago on Ken Smith's website that basically suggested picking a couple of system-type openings that you can play against almost anything. For example, Colle System for White. Black is a little trickier, but the Caro-Kann and Tarrash Defence are prettty all purpose. That was Ken Smith's suggested repertoire and I followed it for a couple of years until I got fed up with it and made some changes.
Dropped Colle in favour of main line d pawn openings.
Dropped Tarrash and took up the Slav. Less weakening and the pawn structures often mirror the Caro-Kann.
Overall, I think Smith's idea is not a bad one. If you prefer to open with e4, maybe look at Exchange Spanish and King's Indian Attack type moves against everything else. That way you can get used to one relatively main line opening at a time, as you introduce new thinks into your repertoire. Don't rush it though.
Hope this helps

mmkrond, how long did it take you to write all that junk? LOL, here are all the openings you need to win- Just see 'Move List'...
AS WHITE:
AS BLACK:
The Gambit King
He is not looking for traps. Honestly just start with a clean Ruy Lopez and Four Knights for white, and a Phildor Defense and a Scillian Defense.
I'm new and need help with openings. I'm not looking for the "best" openings, but maybe a few for white and a few for black that could get me going. Just general suggetions. From reading post here, I gather people recommend learning 3 or 4 openings and sticking with them for a while? Any help would be appreciated.