Best defense against Sicilian

Yeah, just as long as they agree with what you think, right?

I would go with the Alapin, again...
But I believe 2. c4 allows an English transposition, maybe a Mikenas attack? I'm not sure about that, but I think it's possible.

The best anti-Sicilian weapon is 1.c4

I don't pretend to have 'chess authority.' I am not Nick deFirmian. I am not Nakamura. I am not the ultimate opening authority. However, I am entitled to my opinion, I believe. Correct me if I am wrong.

And what, precisely, is your threshhold for 'woodpusher,' 'ignorant,' etc? Since I am apparently all of these, please, let me know what they mean.

I thought the title was interesting.  "Best defense against the Sicilian (Defense)?" :-p