how do I do London

The two ways I'd play the london are-
a) play the Jobava variant
b) transpose into the London from the Saragossa opening (1. c3), or at least the zuckertort w/ 3. c3 - this way you will avoid alot of peoples prepared anti-london lines. Along with their prepared d4 sidelines if you play 1. c3. Though you need to mix in other openings as well to make this work, but that's why they call it a repertoire

How to actually play the opening... look up a video on youtube for that, it will do a better job than anyone here could do

The Jobava repertoire, based on the chigorin system, is alot more compact... and the opening itself is very tricky. The Saragossa opening (1. c3) is much larger, it's a very transpositional opening, but it's completely offbeat and it will throw people off alot. However the actual traditional london you transpose into... is more boring and I generally prefer the Jobava over it. However you'll be avoiding peoples anti-london lines (like you can avoid early c5 lines and play a reversed slav gambit instead) so it will not be as bad as it usually would be, and you can also choose to go into a Torre in many places / there are other obscure gambits and things in the Saragossa that are deadly as well. I would play either but if you want something simple the Jobava would be my recommendation

Well we can agree that this conversation is above your head.

The mainline london is a boring opening, it is widely known for that.

You can play in some simple subpar manner but you don't need to ask for advice on how to do that, how to play the basic london setup is already very well known and available information. If you want actually good advice that will serve you as you progress as a player then I will give it to you, and I generally will assume you are capable of handling that advice and interpreting it as you see fit. This is alot more valuable to someone than me just saying "play the normal london", plus it actually answers his question.

Btw I just wrote a short description of the Saragossa opening for anyone interested. Very underrated - Sagarossa opening (1. c3) - Chess Forums - Chess.com

Carry onward!

I would start with Kew Gardens.