fiancello and castle
Plans for Black in this position?

OK but how can you say the position is bad for White based on one of the most ludicrous moves I've ever seen? How can that refute the English?

You could just win some material from the final position you mention. 5. ...Nd3 exd3 Qe5 forking king and rook. Seriously though... what white player would go in for this?

@JamesColeman
As you can see in my post, the move to which I gave a question mark is 4. cxd5. Before that, on the 2nd and 3rd move, White can play a whole different variety of moves that have the potential to net him a better position (such as 1. c4 Nc6 2. g3 Ne5 3. d3 d5 4. cxd5 Qxd5 5. e4 and White is better). And even on the fourth move, 4. cxd5 is not forced.
In other words, the position which I called "fairly bad for White" is that after 5. f3, NOT the one after 2... Ne5. So of course, it would be a silly thing for anyone to assume 2... Ne5 can refute 2. g3.

@heister
I don't like 5... Nd3+ at all, after 6. exd3 Qe5+ 7. Ne2 Qxa1 8. Nec3 I'd rather be playing White than Black.

OK I see. To be fair, that was far from clear.
Might give 2...Ne5 a try at bullet, could catch out the pre-movers :)

@blueemu
Just so you know, this comment fits more in the thread dedicated to 2... Ne5 (I gave a link to it in the opening post), not to this one, which is dedicated on this specific variation I posted.
And the answer is... Black's got trouble. 3. Qa4 is the move my coach recommended for White when I showed him this variation and I've unable to find a satisfying solution.

@JamesColeman
If you ever do, please tell me. I'd like to study those games, even if they are just 1 minute bullet.
(if you want to know more about the extremely unusual 2... Ne5, you can go here.)
I had analyzed this position after 5. f3 before and determined it to be fairly bad for White: Black has sort of a lead in development and White's kingside is weak. But when it came to actually play it for the first time (in a game that ended just a few minutes ago), I found myself lacking knowledge on how to continue. Ultimately I decided to play Nf6, Bd7 (I could find no better square for it!) and O-O-O, with the idea of pushing my kingside pawns for an attack should White ever decide to castle. I won the game quickly because my opponent blundered by not securing his rook before castling, allowing me to play Qd4+ and Qxa1. It was disappointing, because I want to play out the position.
So, what are your ideas?