The f5 Opening

No, I play black

1.e4 f5 seems to be the modern version of the "pawn and move" handicap.

I don't see what's so bad about 1. ... f5. I may lose a pawn, but I gain the initiative.

What sort of threats do you usually generate?

I know people want to be original in the opening, but 1.e4,f5?? is not the way to go about it.  If you insists on being different then try 1.e4,Nc6 where black is at least still in the game, but of course it's suboptimal and 1...e5 1...c5 1...e6 1...d6 1...g6 1...c6 and 1...d5 are all superior options to it, but are all orthodox. 

Try an interesting variation of the Sicilian if you want to be different.

1.e4 c5 2.Nf3 e6 3.d4 cd 4.Nxd4 Nf6 5.Nc3 Qb6!?

1.e4 c5 2.Nf3 Nc6 3.d4 cd 4.Nxd4 d5!?

1.e4 c5 2.Nf3 Nf6!?

just some ideas...

All better than 1. e4 f5!

Personally, I like the Accelerated (I don't know why), but I wouldn't say it is unusual.

Calling this the German is really racist.

How?

Robert Hübner wants to have a word with you, Mr. OP.

The reason everybody thinks white wins is because...white wins. White is up a pawn for no compensation. The black can't seriously consider castling kingside (not enough pawns are there anymore) so black will castle queenside. White can also castle queenside and black's attack is non-existent. White will be able to convert the extra pawn.

Agreed. 

EDIT: I'm German. Let me rephrase that, I'm Bavarian. That's why I have various sub variations like the Berlin, Bavarian Attack, etc.

I challenge all with this opening as black

Bavarian Attack as black:

I accept. Send me a 3 days per move challenge with me playing white (I won't play this opening as black).

I only play live games of 3 minutes to 10 minutes on here

bump

It's a bad opening. There is nothing more to say.