The Bowdler 1.e4 c5 2.Bc4 ! >:(

Thanks for changing the title!

People play the Bowdler against me all the time.  Crappy chess players (like my opponents at my level) play it because lower level players play sloppy unsound chess, and they look for tricks traps, and one move attacks. Bc4 attacks f7. and they hope their opponent is braindead enough to ignore it and allow Nf3 to g5 where both knight and bishop attack f7.  Sometimes it actually works, the opponent plays Nf6 or something dumb like that, and is lost.  

I've noticed that 1000 level players are sometimes harder to beat than 1200 level players, because they know a few tricks and create chaos.  It is a common complaint about how there must be more cheaters at lower levels because good players lose to them more than they should.  Its about the tricks.  

What does that have to do with scanning a cat?

Cat lives matter? And if so, what's so special about #2?

Hopefully that was a joke, and if not:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/CT_scan

I know what a CT scan is

Do I look like a Bowdler idiot?

I need more monkie scanning cats

Step 1 of making the Sicilian your main opening should be learning how to deal with all the Anti Sicilians. After you're finished with that you will realise the only real way for white to get his opening advantage is with the Open Sicilian. Instead, what happens is people learn every line in the open sicilian then complain when the white player plays something else. The Bowdler isn't played at master level for a reason, you should figure that reason out and apply it yourself, or just switch openings.

is that why carlsen played the rossolimo twice in the WC?

Always listen to a 1300 online speed chess player when it comes to advice on the Sicilian.

Re- reading the OP, it is funny that the op finds the game ruined after move two, with no hope for an interesting game.  I think the op's problems go deeper than the Bowdler.

The Rossolimo is a big exception, and is no doubt the most respectable Anti Sicilian, in certain cases almost more played than the open when black goes Nc6 on move 2. I was talking about 2..d6 lines, and Bb5+ is just not as good as the Rossolimo. 

Also to add, I by no means implied the anti sicilians lead to a guaranteed draw or win for black, I play the Closed as white myself, but objectively the open is the best try for an advantage. Not that it matters as below master level advantage tends to switch sides often, but the point was the OP should by no means be scared of any sideline

When you rail against an opening while saying you lose to it, the rest of your post loses all credibility. 

Your opponent isn't there to give you game you want, you know. 

I think that if the Bowdler is bad, and you lose to it, your opponent isn't the problem.