What is the stupidest opening ever?

  • #1

    Let's see how stupid we can make these openings!

    Soon after I started playing chess, I focused my huge store of chess knowledge, pawn structure and deep strategical considerations into creating my masterpiece, my magnum opus:the magnificent Helltank Gambit.



  • #2

    The Bongcloud OpeningTongue Out

  • #3

    Only in normal chess. In Bongcloud chess the Open Cloud(1. e4 e5 2.Ke2) is played in 54% of games.

  • #4

    That is, assuming one would play the Bongcloud in normal chess... Otherwise any irrational, illogical move would do...

    Seriously.

  • #5

    Simulated chess opening. 

    1. d4 - d5
    2. Qd3 - Qd6
    3. Qh3 - Qh6
    4. Qxc8 #
                                  

  • #6

    The continuation of your gambit has been a subject of much study; modern analytical methods have arrived at the following consensus of opinion:



  • #7

    So don't open or read them jempty.  We're not going to give up our fun just to avoid hurting your eyes with meanless combinations.

  • #8

    The Mother in Law Opening.

    Just nagging just to do it. She thinks she always wins.

  • #9

    Andersen opening.

  • #10

    Now I'm expecting some rich guy to pay a GM to have him play the Helltank Gambit. Of course he'll have to pay even the opponent to lose, in order to demonstrate that the gambit is sound.

  • #11

    lol jempty, don't be such a killjoy

  • #12
    nextkasparov345 wrote:

    Andersen opening.

     

     



  • #13

    My fastest official loss ever:



  • #14

    How about 1.g4 followed by 2. f3

  • #15
    fischerandchips wrote:

    How about 1.g4 followed by 2. f3

    Yeah, I'm pretty sure that is the hands down winner. 

  • #16
    royalbishop wrote:

    The Mother in Law Opening.

    Just nagging just to do it. She thinks she always wins.

    HAHA! Respond with the "shut your damn mouth" defence

  • #17
         

    a new variation of fool's mate !!

  • #18
    jempty_method wrote:

    What is idiotic is people starting idiotic threads and then stating their idiotic opinions about chess openings.

    Wow. Chess players really are the most humourless people in the world.

  • #19
    fissionfowl wrote:

    Wow. Chess players really are the most humourless people in the world.

    This is quite apparent from the very first post of this thread.

  • #20
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