The Bongcloud Opening
What is the stupidest opening ever?

That is, assuming one would play the Bongcloud in normal chess... Otherwise any irrational, illogical move would do...
Seriously.

The continuation of your gambit has been a subject of much study; modern analytical methods have arrived at the following consensus of opinion:

So don't open or read them jempty. We're not going to give up our fun just to avoid hurting your eyes with meanless combinations.

Now I'm expecting some rich guy to pay a GM to have him play the Helltank Gambit. Of course he'll have to pay even the opponent to lose, in order to demonstrate that the gambit is sound.

How about 1.g4 followed by 2. f3
Yeah, I'm pretty sure that is the hands down winner.
The Mother in Law Opening.
Just nagging just to do it. She thinks she always wins.
HAHA! Respond with the "shut your damn mouth" defence

What is idiotic is people starting idiotic threads and then stating their idiotic opinions about chess openings.
Wow. Chess players really are the most humourless people in the world.
Let's see how stupid we can make these openings!
Soon after I started playing chess, I focused my huge store of chess knowledge, pawn structure and deep strategical considerations into creating my masterpiece, my magnum opus:the magnificent Helltank Gambit.