What is the stupidest opening ever?

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Avatar of helltank

Let's see how stupid we can make these openings!

Soon after I started playing chess, I focused my huge store of chess knowledge, pawn structure and deep strategical considerations into creating my masterpiece, my magnum opus:the magnificent Helltank Gambit.



Avatar of SystematiChaos

The Bongcloud OpeningTongue Out

Avatar of helltank

Only in normal chess. In Bongcloud chess the Open Cloud(1. e4 e5 2.Ke2) is played in 54% of games.

Avatar of SystematiChaos

That is, assuming one would play the Bongcloud in normal chess... Otherwise any irrational, illogical move would do...

Seriously.

Avatar of skakmadurinn

Simulated chess opening. 

1. d4 - d5
2. Qd3 - Qd6
3. Qh3 - Qh6
4. Qxc8 #
                              

Avatar of basilicone

The continuation of your gambit has been a subject of much study; modern analytical methods have arrived at the following consensus of opinion:



Avatar of marmot84

So don't open or read them jempty.  We're not going to give up our fun just to avoid hurting your eyes with meanless combinations.

Avatar of royalbishop

The Mother in Law Opening.

Just nagging just to do it. She thinks she always wins.

Avatar of nextkasparov345

Andersen opening.

Avatar of plutonia

Now I'm expecting some rich guy to pay a GM to have him play the Helltank Gambit. Of course he'll have to pay even the opponent to lose, in order to demonstrate that the gambit is sound.

Avatar of mvtjc

lol jempty, don't be such a killjoy

Avatar of plutonia
nextkasparov345 wrote:

Andersen opening.

 

 



Avatar of pfren

My fastest official loss ever:



Avatar of fischerandchips

How about 1.g4 followed by 2. f3

Avatar of marmot84
fischerandchips wrote:

How about 1.g4 followed by 2. f3

Yeah, I'm pretty sure that is the hands down winner. 

Avatar of naturalproduct
royalbishop wrote:

The Mother in Law Opening.

Just nagging just to do it. She thinks she always wins.

HAHA! Respond with the "shut your damn mouth" defence

Avatar of AngeloPardi
     

a new variation of fool's mate !!

Avatar of fissionfowl
jempty_method wrote:

What is idiotic is people starting idiotic threads and then stating their idiotic opinions about chess openings.

Wow. Chess players really are the most humourless people in the world.

Avatar of pfren
fissionfowl wrote:

Wow. Chess players really are the most humourless people in the world.

This is quite apparent from the very first post of this thread.

Avatar of GenghisCant

http://www.chess.com/forum/view/livechess/invinted-a-chess-opining-and-trap-how-do-i-get-it-named-after-me