I am like Magnus Carlsen, more or less

On reading the (excellent) profile of Magnus Carlsen in the latest issue of the New Yorker (online, but only available to subscribers), I had a sudden realization that I share many things with Magnus. The main similarities are that:

I, too, can blunder a piece.

I, too, sometimes don’t know what I will play on my second move.

I, too, am not that strong on openings.

I, too, don’t train as hard as I should.

Finally, I am half-Norwegian. Rounding up, that makes me wholly Norwegian and, in such a small country, most likely a relative of Magnus.

In other words, I am very like Magnus. The similarities are much clearer than the differences and I seem practically indistinguishable from him. People might as well call me Magnus and it is only a matter of time before my play and rating reflects this. Surely?

Are you like Magnus Carlsen?

I am Carlsen!

 In these regards, yes, I am quite like him.

I'm like an eternal big kid too, so, yes I am

This could be true of anyone, really.

And by the way, I like your reasoning on the half-norwegian rounded up thing. 

I don't have the half-Norwegian bit, but I was born less than a month after Magnus. That counts for something, right?

I am a great fan of Magnus....

But I play better than Magnus. Here is my reasoning:

1) No one play better than Magnus.

2) I play better than no one.

1 + 2) I play better than Magnus.

I don't like Magnus Carlsen and that makes me more awesome than everybody else.

I not only blundered away a rook just now, I also can do tricks with magnets? Oh, You said Magnus. Sorry.

Are you retarded too.