Hahaha, this is why I still follow Smoobachuk!
Smoobachuk Wins Trollenberg Open; Defeats Carlsen in Final Round
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Mar 27, 2023
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ninjaswat wrote:
Hahaha, this is why I still follow Smoobachuk!
Thanks!
But as usual, I spend a fair amount of time writing this stupid story and all I get is one lonely comment. Why do I bother? It's all so meaningless. No wonder Nietzsche said "Chess is dead."
In a stunning turn of events, Panko Smoobachuk, the world's lowest rated grandmaster, has won the prestigious Trollenberg Open in East Trollenberg, GF. What's even more incredible is that he accomplished this amazing feat by defeating World Champion Magnus Carlsen in the very last round!
The Trollenberg Open is the 22th stage of the World Chess Tour, and one of the premier events in chess. This year's competition included 1467 grandmasters, 11,154 International Masters, and SpongeBob SquarePants, this years celebrity contestant.
Panko Smoobachuk had been in dead last place for the entire tournament, even losing his game against novice SpongeBob in a mere 11 moves. However, due to a software glitch in the last round, Smoobachuk was positioned tied for first place with the leader, Magnus Carlsen. Perhaps unnerved by the strange pairing with a rank patzer like Panko, Carlsen lost his game with Smoobachuk, thereby making his opponent the winner of the tournament.
By the time the error in the standings was discovered, Smoobachuk had already grabbed the $60,000 first prize, dashed out of the playing hall, and was miles away, laughing it up with a bunch of his low-life cronies at a strip club on the other side of town. Ain't chess the greatest game ever?!
Here's Panko's crushing defeat of Carlsen: