"Uh, no, your king is trapped. He can't go here because of my lighthouse, and he can't go here because of my pointy-head guy." (Penny - TBBT)
What is your favorite chess quote of all time?

I like the story of Capablance sitting outside the Cafe Regence in Paris, board set up, waiting for anybody who wanted to to play. A chap strolled past and suggested a game against the world champion who accepted and offered the chair opposite. Before they began to play Capablanca took his queen off the board. His opponent, not knowing who he was against, protested strongly at the perceived arrogance of the great man. He said, "Sir, how dare you remove your queen, you don't know me, I could beat you!" To which our hero replied, "Sir, if you could beat me I would know you."
Must be apocryphal. I've read that attributed to Alekhine on a cruise ship.

I dedicate this quote to all players who like to talk smack in public games at the park or library wherever: "Move in silence, only speak when it is time to say Checkmate". I saw the quote on pininterest and am not sure who quoted it.

"From now on this is plain butchery" → Alekhine' game annotation
"Chess and life are both a constant struggle" → Emmanuel Lasker
"When playing whites I win because of the first move advantage, when playing blacks I win because I am Bogoljubov" → Efim Bogoljubov

Chess cheating around 1980:
"That guy is a cheater, he used to hide the chess openings book in the toilet flushing system of the tourney room and he used to go there often during the openings but once the book took a lot of water and his cheating secret was uncovered when he went there to get the book back" → A chess amateur telling me about another one...

Here are some of my favorites:
https://www.chess.com/forum/view/general/quotchess-is-1-inspiration-and-99-tacticsquot
Some people think that if their opponent plays a beautiful game,it's OK to lose. I don't.
Magnus Carlsen