Let's invent some very weird pieces

The machine:

1. its heavy

2. it teleports

3. it farts

4. it dances 

5. it shoots laser beams

6. if its every captured, the entire chess board explodes and everyone dies (even the king so its a draw in other words)

and i think thats it

amogus

lol

Samurai
He moves and captures like a chess king, but he can still jump over his own and other people's pieces like chips in the game Halma (without capturing), standing immediately behind her on a free field. Jumping moves are made only without capturing. Cannot jump more than two pieces in one jump. If the samurai is attacked by 2 or more pieces of the opponent, he must commit hara-kiri-suicide and he himself is removed-self-eliminates from the board.

Troll
He spam everything around, stupefies, and sucks energy from the people around him.
Therefore, in chess it would be more logical to reward him with the following property:
He moves and captures like a king. If he knocks down an opponent's piece, then after that all pieces within a radius of 1 square next to him cannot move - they are paralyzed by spores with him! Moreover, both their figures and those of others, since the troll can suck energy out of his own.  When the troll moves away, these pieces can move.
If the troll makes the usual quiet moves, then the pieces that appear on the adjacent cells with him are also spammed. A piece spammed by a troll cannot move, give checks and mates until the troll moves away from it.
 

Winged Knight. It moves and captures like a normal knight, but after a move with a capture, it can either stay in place, or fly 2 or 3 squares in a straight line, but only if the opponent's piece is not there.

Leap-Froger. Moves like a queen, but captures someone else's piece, jumping over it to a free square adjacent to it (in the direction of the jump), like a Grasshopper. As an ordinary queen, she cannot capture. After capturing it must make an extra jump through the 1 square ortogonally.

Monster. He moves like a king and like a knight. It captures the same way. But there is a peculiarity - like a king, he can castle with any piece of his color, approaching it in a straight line across two squares (another piece is required). For example, if the monster is on a1, and the white knight is on d1, the monster can approach the knight on c1 and castle with it like an ordinary king with a rook. But unlike the king, which castle with the rook once per game, the monster can change places with the pieces any number of times.
 

Porcupine:

Can move/check like a Guard/King

No foe piece can move to a square(Including capturing) that is adjacent to it.

edit: Cannot capture

Checker: moves like a checker, and they go in a row in front of the pawns

The Non-Elf.

Moves and captures like an Amazon (Queen - Knight component) however:

When the last move by the opponent was a capture, the Non-Elf can only move without capture.

When the last move by the opponent was a move without capture, the Non-Elf can only move with a capture.

XTREME ULTIMATE HYPER-TERROR- can teloport anywhere

Hi Ezra

need help?

It's Erik M. (@Ace569er) in a sockpuppet screen name. He did the exact same thing here in his old thread, New Variants Using Common Pieces Amoung Them, where "Ezra" posted the same blank response; likely for none other than to bump it; and to escape having to be criticized for it under his 'real' screen name (@Ace569er).

Notice how both @Ace569er and @EzraChan10 usernames each have a very poor chess rating that is based on just a few played games; owed to the fact that all their games are loses. No wins. 

"Ezra" (sockpuppet account) probably posted here just to cover up the fact that its him reviving his "New Variants Using Common" thread. (From since this post, it was a day ago when "Ezra" posted here in this thread. It was 3-4 days ago when he posted in his "New Variants Using Common" thread, and I confronted him on it.)

I'm only guessing what Erik (@Ace569er, alias @EzraChan10(?)) is going to do now. He's going to either

1 - delete his revival post (under EzraChan10) in "New Variants Using Common", or

2 - use a chess computer program to win a subsequent match; just so that he can say that I'm wrong.

Either way, I can totally see @Ace569er marching in here to throw empty jabs and insults at me, like he's always done when my confrontation of him gets the best of him.

(His first line is probably going to be, "You have no idea what you're talking about, BattleChess"; likely followed by some nonsensed idea that I'm somehow obsessed with him; followed by him not knowing if I'm a male or female, since I never really made it clear to him.)

With all that said, please kindly carry on. I wouldn't want this to be a disruption to an otherwise long-time insightful thread.

Octopus.  Moves 3 squares orthogonally or diagonally in any direction and after that in a zigzag pattern.  It's trajectories might resemple octopuses tentacles, therefore the name.  Not a jumping piece.  May be a royal piece like king.

Camel rider - any number of camel moves at a time (like knight rider)

Giraffe rider - same principle with giraffe.

Mad hawk - any number of hawk moves at a time.

King Kong - combines the power of king (or mann), knight, camel, lion, hawk (or alibaba) and giraffe.  May be promoted from king, if it lands one special square.

Super queen- combines the power of queen and grasshopper.

Godzilla - queen+grasshopper+knightrider+camel rider+giraffe rider+mad hawk+octopus (suggested above)+rhinoceros & aanca (from Grant acedrex)+unicorn+rose (see Rose in the list of fairy chess pieces in Wikipedia).  May also capture by shooting and en passant.  Bad mother fudger, isn't it?  But!  This piece may only be on infinite plane, at it may only be promoted from queen (if it lands one special square) - the original, not a pawn queen.  If you lose the original queen - sorry, no Godzilla.

That combination already exists.  It's called Raven.  Check the list of fairy chess pieces in wiki.

@Mc_Check58 "That combination already exists."

I'm sure it has. And, so has every single one of our "invented" piece in this thread.

The unfortunate reality is that the chess pieces we "invented" and "devised" already existed in different combinations and variations, "created" by chessheads who came before us, of whom we do not know about; and of whom do not know about us.

Already, we have a chess player who invented a very neat piece, the Super Captain. Guess what? Someone else had already "Invented" the piece and called it the Raven. And, some unknown human who came before him/her had already "invented" yet the exact same piece; one which combines the powers of the Nightrider and Rook; and probably called it something else. 

Funny thing about our human "inventions" is, we're actually nothing special; someone else had "our" idea before us.

But, take heart: our recourse is just in the very fact that we don't know about those other individuals who thought up "our" ideas. We can celebrate our human innovations and creative thinking (and our superior ability to think logically above all other biological species) by rightfully claiming that it was our idea; even if someone else already thought the same. (You can call it great minds thinking alike. )

With that being said,Night-Rider_Chess8987, it's a very neat piece. Really powerful! In my opinion, though, perhaps it's too much so among the existing chess pieces on an 8x8 board.