Bunny's boohoo services
You're hired too breezy! The bunny believes in diversity although Mono is a little bigoted. Bad monkey
The spindrift can petitions the bunny to hire him on
You're hired sir! Now we've got the Mono (the monkey), Al and you onboard
Woohoo!
our first order of business is to stop people from complaining about perceived sleights. this might seem difficult with a site full of kids, but that's where the monkey will earn his bananas by distracting them.
they are kids, after all. and, if the monkey is disinterested, a simple toy might do the trick.

The boohoo services have been abused. Kids who promise to leave don't. Those that do come back in a day.
A lot like this.
https://www.chess.com/forum/view/community/leaving-and-returning-aggregator-topic

Kids these days ...
For those simping kids who beg these offenders to stay, we need boohoo songs. Let's start with ...
Lighthouse - whatever it takes