Can you teach a student to stay humble?

Just tell them the truth :

• "beating a stronger player in blitz doesn't mean much : you'll be as strong as they are when your rating will be the same than theirs."
• "you don't lose because you're unlucky : you lose because you don't pay attention - playing chess without paying attention is pretty much like watching TV..."
• "by boasting after a game, you don't show how strong you are, you just show how bad-mannered you are. Your moves,not you mouth, tell your chess strength"

Please adapt for proper English grammar

Then have them play Rybka at 3sec/move against 1hr for them a couple of times and analyze the game after by pointing all their mistakes.

 If they still hang on after this rough feedback, have them watch Karate Kid and come back as coachable trainees

You said it very well...go watch Karate Kid...lol

The Immortal Mr. Miyagi

I think you cant teach someone the importance of it. I think time does it eventually, there is always a bigger fish. But then again you are supposed to bring a certain competitive attitude to the board. It goes back to why you play after all. To win or to improve. But that's the thing, even tho you cant always win games, you can always learn from both victories and defeats to improve, thus wining more games.

I dont know i dislike playing in a hostile environment with " IN YO FACE" boasts. Its not basketball its chess.

After many embarrassing experiences i try to stay super humble. Competitive, but respectful of my opponents desire to win and skill, no matter what the number next to his name says.

I am fourteen, have several close friends whose parents are divorced, and I agree with you. Good luck. 

"I have another student that DRASTICALLY overestimates his strength because he has drawn a higher rated player.  I've beaten a FM master in blitz and one in correspondence, but that doesn't mean I am the same strength as them!  Maybe it means that everyone can make mistakes!  It just seems that this may be a character flaw that's bigger than chess and I'm not sure how to handle it."

I quess this is me. I do not believe I'm overating myself beating 1800s on chess.com and playing even against higher rated players has count for something. I have great confidence in my abilities and worldly stuff like over confidence are my down fall. I love online chess because the board is smaller and its easier to calculate whenever I play otb I feel my skill at online chess is not converting into otb. So thats why I have you as a teacher and go to clubs. My draw wasn't what mattered to me the fact that I had a close game with doug 2 times is what matters it's not whether you win or lose it is how well you played. You could lose in a even game just because of two passed pawns, but all that matters is learning from your loss and understanding you play about even with the opponent.

I taught my nephew how to play chess (he's 7). I let him win a few games against me, and he started getting all cocky and talking trash.

So I said to him, "oh, you think you're a big boy now do ya." Then I tore him apart. I killed every piece and pawn he had. Then I promoted six different pawns to queens.

When I was done, I told him "always respect your opponent." I think he took the lesson. 

I'm so thankful for all of the feedback.  I have taken the corrective action.  Keep in mind I had approach the students I spoke about and mentioned it to them... some I do think it's a level of maturity, but others, I'm just going to save us both some time. 

I think we're kidding ourselves here thinking a sound "chess thrashing" will sort them out.

These kids are not just arrogant at chess ... they're arrogant at life. I've played the very same "son of WIM and IM" kid that FirebrandX mentioned and tore  apart his Pirc with the so-called Caveman Attack system as White.  He slammed the clock and the pieces around after he noticed he was losing. He stopped writing his moves down so I even called the TD and had him issue him a warning. I took the win and just as the above post mentioned, I saw none of that "grace/dignity" composure that I'd assume good parents would have instilled in him.

You'd think he'd learn something? Nope ... based on the above post, he's still doing the same thing over and over.

Sometimes => discipline just HAS to start at home. Chess is just one of the many channels a badly adjusted munchkin has to display uncorrected behavior. Sucks that he has to play decent adults who just want to have a good time pursuing their passion.

Let me know if anybody here wants to co-author a book called "How to beat arrogant kids at chess"  *grin.

I put someone on my ban list for the first time recently. He was talking trash after a loss (e.g., that I "stole" points from him). I gave him some rematches, but the rudeness continued. It wasn't enough to consider abuse, but I don't need it. I play for fun, and rude people aren't fun.

Maybe the thing to do is to announce a new policy about sportsmanship. Write a short definition with examples of unsportsmanlike behavior in chess. The policy would state that if a student behaves in an unsportsmanlike manner, you will call it to his/her attention and may even stop teaching the student if it continues. Make it clear that chess has its own standards, and what is common in other sports may be unacceptable in chess.

Ha!

Hey I got one.  I played in one of these supertournaments in 2003.  I played some random child prodigy.  I had a completely winning position and he lost a piece to a nifty little combination.  So he put his head down in shame and extended his hand.   Of course, I assumed he was resigning.  After I shook his hand, he started laughing and saying... "ha ha you just accepted a draw!  ha ha"  He runs over to the score sheet and puts 1/2 -1/2.  Of course, I told him "I didn't agree to a draw."  He starts to scream "Yes you did!  You agreed to a draw!!! and starts to scream!" 

It was an absolute nightmare.  And his parents sided with him!  So we stepped outside the tournament hall I explained what happened, the TD looked at the position and knew that it was no way I would have agreed to a draw so he set up the position from where we stopped and we continued.  He played the remainder of the game crying and to be honest, I didn't feel bad.  I couldn't believe the character of this little bugger. 

The next round they had to make a grand announcement to not be "tricked" by a handshake!

"I'm just bad at 1. e4"??? After hearing that I would shout to everyone in the room to use e4 when playing the kid. Then explain to him that practice makes perfect, and that if he expects to win a game any time soon he'd better learn quickly.

To the boasters, you can say that it is a lot of fun to act shy and humble, and thrash people when they aren't expecting it. Make a quiet vice out of an obnoxious one.

As for boasting after a win, I always say, "well, I've won so many times that I don't get excited about it anymore. But since it is a special moment for you, enjoy yourself."

Unfortunately, chess seems to attract a lot of big egos, young and old.

On a more lighter note, this article is an absolute delight regarding the troubles of playing a munchkin.

http://www.goddesschess.com/internationalchessoid/kidsalright.html

Ivan,

Guess where the kid tried to swindle me out of the draw?  Yes.  The Emory Castle tourney lol.

Uh, no, that's not what I said.

I said that, although this problem is nothing new, it seems to be gaining steam lately as people of all ages get away with it!   I've seen younger people with more maturity than some older ones-it just seems that this 'tactic' of complaining louder rather than take criticism is becoming more popular in recent times (that's what I meant by 'generational thing'.)

Also, egos have gotten in too many people's way in the field of music - but that's nothing new!