Chess Limericks

Get out of the way of the Weaponking
He can't stop doing the limerick thing.
"It's got a life of it's own",
He says with a groan
"Someone end my suffering!"

Mr. True, a grand old rheumatic

When he got his gift was ecstatic

It was a chess set

From his grandson Chet

Who kept it hidden in his attic

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A workshop there abides in Chet's loft

Full of materials hard and soft

He had a green hat

And everywhere at

The ladies it was politely doffed.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chet also played chess when not at work

Most of the time with his best friend Kirk

They would play all night

'Twas a marvelous sight

And sometimes their jobs they would shirk

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

But all in all Chet is a great guy

And he's deadly at chess with the Ruy

That old Spanish priest

Though now long deceased

For chess must have had a darn good eye

Polygons and polyhedra make

Me want to rip my hair out and take

With a dark, evil look

My geometry book

And toss it in my neighborhood lake

A chessplayer who lived in New York,

was winning against a chess dork.

'Til a knight moved real mean,

Toward his King and his Queen,

And his only thought was "what the fork?"

'

I've always loved to play chess,

but often blunder myself into a mess!

But please don't be mean,

cuz I'm only thirteen!

So I've still got time for success.

I've always loved to play chess,

but often blunder myself into a mess!

But please don't be mean,

cuz I'm only thirteen!

So I've still got time for success.

I know how you feel weapon king.

About the whole geometry thing.

I'm taking it too,

And let me tell you,

MY TEACHER I SOON WILL BE SLAYING!

See, I'm taking my midterms on friday,

And I might as well go ahead and say,

I'm going to fail

And with no money for bail,

Locked in summer school I'll have to stay.

Finally, some new words have arrived!

For 3 months, this thread has been deprived

Of limerick posts

From chess.com's hosts.

This old thread does need to be revived.

Each morning, first period I dread.

Math class right after I'm out of bed?!?

It's a skill that is great,

But learning it, I hate.

I HATE GEOMETRY CLASS!!! nuff said.  =)

Time

Plenty of time to kill

Some... you can with multitasking

Some... you can with doing nothing

But one thing you cannot do with time

You cannot stop it from ticking,

Tick, Tack, Tick, Tack...Tick, Tack

In an end game I played rook v rook

It soon became clear we were stuck

After 50 moves

The computer refused

To let any more moves be took

--------------------------------------

A young Spanish man named Roberto

Played some chess with his best friend Pedro.

As the game neared its end,

Pedro told his friend,

"Your king has had his last concerto."

I thought that we'd left it behind
I try not to be so unkind
But this thread full of rhymes
I admit, has sometimes
Caused me to envy the blind

Some people like limericks; some don't.

I could just stop posting, but I won't.

If you like poetry,

Read and post here freely.

If you don't want to anymore, then don't.

[comment deleted]

He played chess in sun, rain, and fog.

Annotated his wins in his blog.

But oh the rare loss,

Annotations he'd toss,

Outside, like a bone to a dog.

Weapon King is the limerick king

Five-lined poems are his weaponry thing

As this thread has showed

It's time to reload

And let poetic cannonballs sing

______________________________________________

There once was a man from the East,

Who liked the Ruy Lopez the least,

The Bongcloud opening,

Was his kind of thing,

For a rampamt king is a terrible beast.

Finally another one has come

To slightly liven up this glum,

Barren, tired thread

That to me, seemed dead.

But now may exit the old forum slum.

Ode to theweaponking.

Aha my young Limericking friend,

May your rhymes go on without end

You achieve a good rhyme

Darn near every time,

Though the rules of grammar you bend.

For your skill at thiss type of verse

Could certainly be much the worse

 If in achieving your meter

You robbed Paul to pay Peter

And wrote them in Gallic or Erse.

So continue to turn out each rhyme,

As you do so time after time

Though oft I confess

Your grammar's a mess

But in Limericks that's hardly a crime.

So I say Sayonnara for now

For this Limerick's become an old cow,

But I'll finish this verse,

Or by God I'll curse

And kick up one hell of a row.