Forgiveness

No, no one should be forced to act in any way, but the OP should at least be given the chance to offer the apology.

Normally that's all that matters to me, I'll apologise, it's up to you whether you accept it. It's there whether you want it or not. At that point, my job is done.

They have no responsibility to let the OP feel better, but it is the right thing to at least hear what they have to say.

You say you've never seen me be nice. That's fair to say right? It's probably the truth.

I say I've never seen you post something serious. I've only seen you in off topic posting nonsense. That's also fair to say because it's the truth.

Maybe you post other places, but I haven't seen that. Maybe you post intelligently sometimes but I haven't seen that. That's just how it is.

Ok, see, I was wrong. You're posting about a serious topic and being reasonable.

Sorry for assuming mean things about you

Nonsense posts in off topic are very rare for me. Looking for intelligent posts look in this forum and you've found it.

All good.

Thanks for the input.   I don't know how you gathered

Although, I will admit that how much nonsense I post is dependent on what you actually consider to be "nonsense."

I'm usually being very serious about topics most people don't care about.

I don't know how you gathered that l am demanding anything from anyone. I'm sorry you feel that way , I'm just trying to help others avoid the mistakes I have made 

I think we don't know enough about what happened. The OP could have had a many year relationship with this person where a lot of things happened. There may have already been many hurtful things and apologies year after year. Something made this person want to cut off contact with the OP.

What you're saying is also reasonable. Ideally you can listen to a person and forgive them and there can be closure for both sides. There was just something about how the OP talked that I didn't like. He painted himself as a do-gooder if he could force that person to listen and forgive him.

But who knows. We don't know enough about the history.

Ok, I'll reply to your OP more in depth. Give me a minute.

That's not really what I got out of your post, so that probably accounts for the difference in opinions to some extent.

That is a valid point.

I thank you for your candor and respect your opinion on this matter. We can agree to disagree with each other respectfully and let others decide how to handle this topic in their own way. 

Was this online? By "not allowed" do you mean you were blocked?
Or is this in real life, and by "not allowed" you mean a restraining order by a court?

I know later you say they're not accepting correspondence, so it's probably online stuff, but I'm just making sure. When it's vague like this I tend to think the worst.

Up to here I thought everything you said was very nice, but what do you mean by you refuse to cause more pain via their refusal to forgive? To me this sounds like a demand. You refuse to give up until you've done them the favor of making them forgive you? If that's the case I don't like it.

But if by "refuse" you mean the reason you made this public is you hope word will get back to this person that you're truly sorry, then I think that's fine.

I think that second part was putting themselves in the shoes of the hurt person.

Oh ok, that makes sense.

Like... "when I've been hurt, I forgive people. I do this because otherwise it would cause us both more pain"

Something like that?

If so that's nice.

That's how I interpreted it.

Well this has been a fun topic.

I think all around I need to re-evaluate how I view people when my opinion is very negative. I may have been wrong both about you (potato) and the OP.

I also should probably be a little less hostile.

You've been far more reasonable than most people I've met.

Now we are getting somewhere! I meant that I don't allow myself to withhold forgiveness to anyone else who has hurt me if they ask me for my forgiveness .  ,  I would love for the person that I hurt to know that I am really sorry ; I never got the chance to say that , but it is their decision and I respect that.