People are mostly rude when they have no good argument left, or no good moves :)
Greetings (or lack of)
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The anonymity of the Internet makes it easier to be rude. Over the board, it would never happen.
Even here on the forums, people post rude comments in response to a question or argument. They wouldn't try that in a live debate.
Diabeditor wrote:
The anonymity of the Internet makes it easier to be rude. Over the board, it would never happen.
Even here on the forums, people post rude comments in response to a question or argument. They wouldn't try that in a live debate.
That is so true. In all the years of playing in OTB tournaments, i had 1 instance of an opponent not shaking hands before a game or saying "good luck" It took 1 conversation this his coach, and his coach ripping him a new one to resolve that issue.
But as you posted, its so easy to sit at a comp and act rude because you dont have to face another person.
Everybody should have to identify themselves on web cams. But I suppose that would leave opportunity for a whole new kind of rudeness!
Diabeditor wrote:
Everybody should have to identify themselves on web cams. But I suppose that would leave opportunity for a whole new kind of rudeness!
I don't think that would help at all. The rude folks still would not have to worry about a punch in the nose.
I don't see the big deal, rudness from people I don't know doesen't bother me.
Looking at the long list of banned players, the admins must respond to rude behaviour and boot people off. I don't imagine that whole list is cheaters.
i wish chess.com could offer some kind of icon/symbol to players who agree to somekind of background check so you have some idea of the "stability" of person you'd be chatting with...i quess i'm kinda old school on that area....this is the internet after all....just thinking outloud....."Hola"....
I'm 38 and have a thick skin, so the rudeness doesn't bother me a whole lot. But I feel sorry for women and children who like to play chess here. For some of them, it probably goes beyond rudeness. I'm talking harassment, lewd comments, bullying, perhaps threats, etc.
Oct 7, 2009
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#31
Diabeditor wrote:
I'm 38 and have a thick skin, so the rudeness doesn't bother me a whole lot. But I feel sorry for women and children who like to play chess here. For some of them, it probably goes beyond rudeness. I'm talking harassment, lewd comments, bullying, perhaps threats, etc.
i've seen it all. reported it a few times. i have no idea what has been done about any of it. mostly i don't care when it happens but reporting the especially crass users seems the ethical thing to do.
Diabeditor wrote:
I'm 38 and have a thick skin, so the rudeness doesn't bother me a whole lot. But I feel sorry for women and children who like to play chess here. For some of them, it probably goes beyond rudeness. I'm talking harassment, lewd comments, bullying, perhaps threats, etc.
As a female player here, I have never been harassed, bullied, or threatened. Maybe I've been lucky but I've almost never encountered rude behaviour too. (I can actually think of only one example - one guy told me that my opening sucked, which momentarily annoyed me... but he was right. 
)
Oct 7, 2009
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#33
i didn't notice a single tear, literal or figurative. where is the crying?
Oct 7, 2009
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#34
IsYouReady wrote:
Oh, when I play tournements, I don't say "hi"...No one has to if they don't want to.
i agree 100%
Oct 8, 2009
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#35
it makes me laugh when an opponant disables chat or does not reply to a hi but wants a rematch if i beat him.They don,t get it.
You tell them Tony!!
tonydal wrote:
Hey, "courtesy" is only true courtesy when it's not enforced. "JUST DO IT"?...please. Take your hypocritical attitudes elsewhere.
Tony,
I am not sure of your meaning? Hypocrisy would be me saying that everyone should say hi, then me not following through with my own judgments.
The "just do it" comment was in reference to taking the minimal time and effort to acknowledge your opponent out of respect. I see no need to personally attack me on it.
And your are right there should be no need to enforce courtesy, it should be second nature to everyone but unfortunately individuals negate the need for it to occur. As a National Master I would have thought you would have been of a similar mind with regards to greeting others. I am obviously mistaken.
AnthonyCG wrote:
Most people don't reply because of the pure shock - "OMG he said something to me what should I do?? I learned this in kindergarden but uh..." 1.e4....
In my opinion many have literally lost their manners. I ride the train to the library in the morning and when I say hi to people I don't even expect a reply anymore. I say hi, the person ignores me or pretends to not notice whilst the others are unconscious or too into their ipods to speak up unless I was giving out money.
I did an experiment with this - I know... Some even the same people...
So what happens? Well it spreads like a disease. Mr. Nice Guy runs around greeting people and he gets nothing. Perhaps a "get the @#!% out of the way" but nothing more. Soon Mr. Nice Guy gives up and becomes silent. Mr. Nice guy becomes Mr. Nasty Pants (eww) and tells someone else to get the @#!% out of the way.
The cycle continues...
Perhaps if the opponent were say "SexyChessgirl345 there would be plenty of conversation - but I won't even go there...
In my little otb experience, the people that don't give a reply have been the ones that took things too seriously. And they were of course sore losers. And when they wanted a rematch I dispatched them all the same and they are in total disbelief that I can demolish them with 1.b3 and not even care. As odd as it is, I've never lost to an impolite player. Of course when lady karma chooses you to serve her humble pie, you are happy to oblige.
Of course some of the lot are those that do it for psychological advantages. But if people have to stoop to those levels, maybe they should spend more time in tactics trainer.
I held the door open for a guy and he walks through and no "thank you" or anything. I said "Youre welcome" he turns and says "I didnt say anything" I said "I know but hopefully youll figure it out"
i usually only play white in bullet chess, and dont appreciate it at all when someone says hello, then immediatly makes a move, as im left in a situation where i have to either a) reply and waste precious time or b) ignore them and be viewed as impolite.
this woudnt be the case at all if they said hello, and waited for a response before proceeding to make a move, but who does that?
Does it depend on location? At some retail stores, the workers greet you and are friendly because they want your business. Tourist destinations, at least the ones I've been to, people go out of their way to be friendly.
But people are rude in certain cities. At Christmastime, people are REALLY rude, probably due to stress and bad weather. I've driven in Edmonton and Calgary and drivers don't have the patience to let you back out of a parking stall or switch lanes, whereas in Winnipeg the drivers are very courteous.
Perhaps it's not best to generalize on anything (race, gender, hometown, etc.) but it seems to me that people are a lot friendlier in some places than others. This is based on my own limited observations, of course.
This same principle applies to chess, I'm sure.
I have heard every excuse not to be polite. Which i find sad, that there are so many that will defend rudeness. Just me but i dont understand it.