Having some anxiety issues playing online and looking to connect :-)

Hi there, 

I've been getting into chess for about a year and I absolutely love studying chess. Puzzles, books, opening courses on chessable etc. Problem is, I get extremely anxious trying to play online. Sometimes I go weeks without a single game and if I do, I rarely play more than one or two blitz / rapid games without needing a break from the shakes. It's really annoying and so I figured that maybe there's some folks around here who would be up for some pleasant games and get me into the groove a little. I'm happy to play against any rating so if you're facing similar problems (or would like to help) feel free to drop me a line for a game sometime :-)

And if anybody has some good advice, I'm all ears obviously :-)

cheers

bruno 

If you've been studying, I would say it's the rest of us that should be worried.

When you're not in major tournaments against highly rated players, it's more about learning than whether you win or lose. Become comfortable with losing a lot, and review your games to see what you could have done better.

haha, yeah, I wish- Unfortunately all the studying in the world doesn't do much when you don't play a lot I find. But you're right of course, all that studying will pay off if I manage to get playing more often

yeah, that's the approach I would love to adopt in chess. Playing online is training. For some reason that mindset comes easy and naturally to me in sports where I don't give a single thought how well I do in my training sessions. But for some reason chess feels like life and death for me in every single game.

I wish I had your problem, I only play well when under pressure...

My confidence was shoddy a couple of times this year. Having good training partners can be very encouraging and a valuable experience.

"Problem is, I get extremely anxious trying to play online."

Grow a pair. Whats the worst thing that can happen.

Are you playing online against people, or bots?  Playing against the bots should be less anxiety-inducing.  It is more intense psychologically when you're playing against another person.  Even more so when you're in an in-person tournament. Build up your skills and confidence by playing only against the bots for a couple months before challenging humans again.

Hey Mortal, it’s totally understandable to feel what you’re experiencing. The anxiety may subside the more games you play. Just remember, hey it’s a game! Most everyone here is anonymous too. Keep playing my friend.

Thank you! Yes, I hope you're right! I've made a goal for playing at least one online game every day from now on. At some point some thicker skin may grow :-)) Read about a saying in Go once: lose your first 50 games quickly. There might be some truth in that :-) 

Thank you! Bots is zero problem but I find it hard to play seriously against them. Bots just play very different than human players (especially lower rated players) and sometimes it seems like a completely different set of skills. I just wish I could play online for say three hours game after game with no concern or anxiety. Maybe I should just start a few dozen games and blunder on purpose to get over any fears of losing or making mistakes

Actually I think I would feel much better if I were a stronger player facing actual strong opponents. Losing a 1500 vs 1500 match would feel like training. Losing against 600 rated players because I'm blundering obvious moves out of anxiety is what's frustrating me the most.

My accuracy playing 1600+ players is much higher for some reason. Maybe it is a side effect of my over-reliance on studying that I tend to understand sound moves better than the flailing of a beginner.  

Hi Bruno, I'm Matt.

I've sent you a friend request, I am also new to Chess and the thought of playing online and being stomped by people who also enjoy rubbing it in via chat is unpleasant. However, I'm committed to getting better and if you need someone friendly to spar with, I'm here. 

Before you start a game you have to be clear about this: the game will give you valuable information about openings, middle and endgames. They complement your training in Chessable. Your opponent is helping you to find out where you are making mistakes.

Thank you, you put this perfectly! As I said before, I have been trying to view my games as training (instead of life&death) so the basic idea isn't new to me, but for some reason it actually helps seeing it spelled out like this! Thanks friend!  

A bit of anxiety is perfectly normal. Chess makes only sense if we care about the result. However, if it hinders you from playing, you might want to find strategies to cope with that:

1. Don't play. It's fine just to do puzzles if it is what you enjoy.

2. If you are mainly worried about the rating, just play unrated games. Or create a training account (on another server) where you just play for fun. 

3. Try to convince yourself that in the long run your rating will go up when you keep playing.

What's so unpleasant about the bots?  If they're too hard to beat, choose an easier bot. If they're too easy to beat, choose a stronger bot.

Oh it's not that it's unpleasant to play the bots. More that it feels like running on a treadmill. It's ok and the training does improve your endurance, but at some point you want to go outside and run and do the real thing :-) So I do want to play with other people, I just wish I could be more relaxed about it. But you're right that playing the bots is always an option when my nerves don't allow for more.