How To Cheat On Chess.com and Not Get Caught!

Why would you want to cheat? Your only fooling yourself haha

Nice post......ha ha ha! 

LOL.

Well, there is a glitch on live chess.... i wonder if i should tell you....

You must have a lot of free time... At first when I saw the thread I thought, who the hell would be dumb enough to list tips for cheating...  :D

No, you should report the glitch to Erik so it can be fixed.  Otherwise be subject to the same scrutiny, distrust and lack of credability that cgeater_1 gets.

Its good to have a sense of humour, as much as we all enjoy chess and take most of our games seriously, we mustn't lose the fact that we can have a humour with it too  !

I agree!

There is this one interesting glitch in Live Chess - next time you're playing me, try it and I won't report you.

1. Start the game

2. Play the first ten moves

3. When it's your turn, press the power button on your computer TWICE, really fast. The power surge will be registered by the main server as a victory for you. It also helps if you smear mayonnaise on your finger, to help with the communication with the server.

4. One victory notched up!

I've been taking a few steps back and running up to hit the "Submit" button really hard.  It doesn't immediately count as a victory, but it does knock a few seconds off of my opponent's clock.

That is so stupid. You can't just win the game with your skills you have to win by cheating? Seriously...just submit the glitch so it can be fixed.

indoorwizard - this is the kind of glitch that can't fixed. Another intriguing point about the servers is this:

if you have wireless, you can connect two paperclips and some leaf vegetable with a HIGH water content to the adaptor. This will boost your signal on the ambient frequency range. After doing this, while playing on Live Chess, set your Network Connections (right click, bottom right of screen) to "Cheat" mode. The paper-clip acts as a direct 'gateway' or 'door' into the heart of the chess.com server, and you can access and modify anything you want, including the result of the game you're playing. This can sometimes also work if you just dance up and down in front of the adaptor, but you have to be a really good dancer.

TheGrobe: I didn't know that one, thanks! Does it matter how much of a run-up you take?

Quite mad how a joke posting has turned into a serious issue and has thrown up a possible way to cheat on the site!

 ironic

gabriel, I just spent the last half hour salsa dancing with my computer, and guess what? I still have 30-something losses to David Forthoffer!

What gives, man?

 Thats not really cheating nor a victory, as you didn't really beat the person...you could have been down and in the next move be checkmated and do that, you can request the chess.com staff to review games and over turn losses...you should definitely send that to chess.com

 Try standing back about 20 feet and running as fast as you can with your head down right at a slot machine in a casino!!  If money comes out...well won't matter they'd throw you in jail and probably have to take you to the hospital first, but it might be amusing!!!  Oh and smear mayo on your finger first!

I found the ultimate cheat! It only takes five steps.

1. Play a game.
2. Lose.
3. Spend six months huddled in your house reading chess books, analyzing positions and generally improving your game.
4. Play a game.
5. Win.

DISCLAIMER: In no way do I recommend anyone to try this. After all, cheating is not fair. But just as an FYI . . .

     This takes some preparation, but removes any Lost game that might otherwise be about to befall you; without detection by the CHESSdotCOM system.

     First you need to take apart your old, useless nondigital television set (don't get electrocuted by the high-voltage tripler ...or the capacitor, that can get you even after its unplugged. So you probably should get an electrician to do this part, now that I think of it ...) Once apart, detach the magnetic ring from the picture tube and you will have a very powerful magnet at your disposal. Keep this next to you while accessing the Chess game you intended to lose. (This will work especially well for Live Chess too.) 

As you are about to lose, take magnet in your right hand and place it upon front of your PC. Be sure it covers the "C" drive. Now keeping magnet in contact with PC frame, dance widdershins around PC  7 times (your lucky number). AND now you will find ALL RECORD of the offensive game has been removed utterly from your computer, and will Never reappear there... UNLESS you are running a dual-corr, which is not recommended but still fixable....

First step, find ANOTHER old useless TV set . . .

Here is my secret for a victory every time on LiveChess:

1) Pray to the chess gods (This is not necissary but I find I am 66.6% more likely to win if I do.)

2) Start a rated game with the time i/-3.14.

3) If you are white then on turn 5 type in chat "10001110101110001110100010011101001010010010001 001000111110101110101011010010"

4) If you are black do it on move 2.75.

5) Then resign immediately and hit your monitor with a baseball bat.

6) If you remembered to film yourself doing this, submit it to the white house and they will give you a coded telephone number.

7) Decode the number and call it, on the phone repeat "The samurai shall unsheath his sword" five times.

8) Look on chess.com to see that you have another victory!