How to deal with chess and anger

Too many players use engine assistance and it is impossible to win against them. Then u get one and then another and then 5 ina row scoring from 90 to 100 accuracy . Makes the server impossible to use 

You're literally displaying it.

You can always set your bed on fire.

It shouldn't be though, why do u think that is? That's a people problem not a Chess problem, it's painful to lose and most of us don't know how to handle it and so we lash out with "toxicity" etc.

Well it is what it is, sadly. People don't like losing and you probably don't either, so the pain of losing/losses causes some people to lash out and be toxic etc, some folks handle it better then others.
The best you can do is learn how to handle it better, either ignore them or don't play with them or block them. However you're not going to eliminate it from any form of competition whether it's Chess, video games or Sports etc., yes some "communities" will be less toxic then others but you'll never eliminate it altogether so if you want to compete, you have to learn how to deal with it, it's no different from dealing with people and I'm talking about in life in general.

I am going through exactly the same thing. The best way is I should stop playing this game and move on. It's so frustrating and I can't handle myself when I loose because of silly mistakes. Hurting myself, not talking to anybody, being in anger all the time. It has changed my life. Guys, don't play chess if you have anger issues or even not, I never had anger issues before this, it will not make you sharp. It will just make you miserable because you will loose and you will commit mistakes. And nothing in the world can make you calm once that happens. Just stop playing. I have smashed my laptop, my phone my head everything. Broke both hand's thumbs. It is a silly game and if you are not professional, it's non-sense to play it. I quit.

Bro message me, we'll talk about it, I can't say I don't relate because I definitely do, it's frustrating, the question you need to ask yourself is WHY are you getting angry, is it A) Frustration over losing or B) Non improvement or a combination of them both.

I struggle with this a lot too. But, one thing I came up with was and what may not be the best advice...But, it's "Don't play the person, play the board", which means the person your against, doesn't exist, your playing the board meaning the peices on it. There's no one in your mind on the other side laughing at you. I also sometimes don't even bother looking at the messages I get sent because they are sometimes triggering. This helps me sometimes, sometimes not. Just my 2 cents.

Use the anger to your advantage and turn it into determination, chess is not about being passive you need that aggression to focus your mind, chess is war and your opponent wants to beat you, it's your job to protect the king at all costs

Well that's good, one thing that may help is to ask yourself why are you angry, I say that because for me it's deeper then just "losing" it's other factors as well. However yes, just generally staying in control of your emotions is a good thing.

I found it partly good what "theCobraisaready" wrote. The question is also, putting chess aside, are the feelings and the stress and whatever you feel also "following" you in your daily life? If this is your "normal" and typical behaviour then there is not much you could do i think except find help in real life which you already did and is a huge step for you personally. I dont play long, around 6 months and the best tip and advice i got here until now is to just turn off your head and thoughts while playing chess and stop thinking. Especially overthinking. Which is also my biggest problem. Toxic community is everywhere not just here. But i hope since the 2 years you found your way and steps in controlling your "anger" better. Wish you all the best. Ps: Our emotions and our behaviour is not what we are but what our mind and body chooses at that time. Just my opinion.

Turning your mind off during a game of Chess, a game which requires thought is one of the worse things you can do. However I know what you meant, .....to the OP it's all about learning to control your thoughts and your emotions along with them and that's easier said then done, I struggle with it every day.
A competitive game of Chess can make one very emotional and it's easy to get frustrated and as I've said for years now which most people don't want to admit to for some reason, losing is painful, all of these are why people get so toxic to begin with.
Also what you were saying about them having a problem with anger in general, which will effect how they handle frustration and losing etc. in general.