Mental Health Break

You should help yourself instead of asking for help online. If you have a mental issue, deal with it. No will will be able to help you if you can't help yourself. Stay safe out there.

@VerifiedChessYarshe

I didn't ask for help from anyone. I made a post intending my friends would see it and maybe it would reach others dealing with the same issues. Being able to relate to others helps immensely sometimes. But no where here did I ask for help with my mental issues. I'm already in the process of beginning therapy.

Thanks for your input, bud. Best vibes. 🙏

#33 If you lose a chess game then you lose, of course, because you aren't stockfish. But blaming the game for making him mentally unstable is not ok. Posting this forum for having on a tilt is already lame. Instead of actually do something to prevent further tilt you rather post something to express your feelings. But ok maybe the game was too frustrating for him so it may be okay, so I told him to feel better and actually do something for himself with "stay safe out there". If you have common sense then please know that the only way mental illness can be cured is if he does something, that's what I said. Please tell me which way is the best to tell someone going through a rough time.

The 2 people who downvoted my previous post are the people who are hurt by the truth. Truth hurts but what else?

What else could it logically be? Trolling?

People these days are just using this tactic to avoid being debunked. I wish you the best of the bests.

If you go through something you just need to do something about it, its really simple. However @Sporegasm seemed to not understand and just here to deflect my points. If your mom or parents pass away, it's sad. But does your sadness bring back the dead?

To sum this up mental illness is an easy problem for you, so get through it. Tilting in chess may be frustrating, get through it and get better and not tilt again. Tilting is an experience for everybody and if everyone is able to adapt to it, so could you.

Bye this forum forever.

Mental illness is an easy problem? Yeah I think that's about all I need to hear in so far as the validity of your comments is concerned. For some of us it's a lifelong struggle as a result of circumstances beyond our control. If you've never had to struggle with mental health before then that's great and I'm truly happy for you in that regard. This forum is probably not for you anyway. I didn't create this forum for validation, sympathy, or anything like that. Unless you've had to walk in another man's shoes, don't assume anything about the circumstances of his journey and where it's led him.

Tell me how to solve mental illness? Mr bigfoxy

😂😂😂 Dude ... In some cases it cannot be solved. For some people it is a lifelong struggle. Some people can combat it with medication, others combat it with therapy. But even the combination of these two things does not work for everyone. For some it is an issue that can be controlled, for others, like myself, it is a little more complex. But to think that mental health can be solved for everyone is simply naive. I am taking the steps that I need to start working towards improving my mental health. But I have been battling with it since I was 12 years old. I'm 34 now. Trust me, if there was a way to "solve" it I would have been first in line.

A few things I’d like to share:

a) I agree that the first years/months when you start an activity are probably the best as it is mainly uphill. Also, this is the time you “fall in love” with the new activity and learning from scratch (rather than learning “an improvement to the Sicilian Najdorf on move 15”) is a lot more stimulating.

You pointed out a very common scenario, getting stuck at a level, maybe even forever.

This is absolutely NORMAL.

You probably heard about the 10000 hours rule, which is the time that it takes to achieve mastery, if the “conditions” are provided. “Conditions” is a whole separate topic but this might include genetics, parental support, motivation and money.

But there’s the 100 hour rule, which basically says that most (and maybe all) of your progress happens in the first 100 hours of learning and practicing an activity.

b) I think that the main problem here is that you see the time invested in chess as wasted whenever you have a bad game.

I see myself related here. Whenever we lose a game “stupidly” we wonder why we’re wasting so much time for that. We live in a society that values time a lot.

But if you (or me lol) enjoys studying and learning new things, regardless of losing a game stupidly, then this time will not be wasted.

Actually, one of my best moments with chess was just reading books as a teenager, not even playing.

Also, your rating might go down and/or you can lose stupid games but your understanding of the game can be a lot better. For instance, you might learn (and master) new rook endings but that does not translate into an improvement when playing.

In this regard, I absolutely see chess as a “sport” where your form is not necessarily related to your knowledge.

Ideally learning should be enjoyed just for the sake of it, not to compete and achieve results, unless those results report you something valuable (like paying the bills), which in this case I believe it does not.

Without taking side in your argument, I just want to point out, that if lies did not hurt, that would be a known thing. "Truth hurts" is simply ridiculous a statement. Some lies flatter, others hurt, some truths liberate, others can be sure hurtfull, but so, if it hurts or not, doesn't actually depend upon wether it's truth or untruth.

I lack the belief to absolutely say that the ancestors had some sort of "mental illness" to bring the world to the current state you are living right now. Believe me, the disease "mental illness" you have been fighting for about 22 years didn't even exist when our ancestors lost something like their loved ones to a mushroom or something that struck fear in their minds. And even if there are people who have this "disease" that you've been praising, the cure for it is so simple. The disease often strikes fear in someone's mind in it stays trapped forever. So how about releasing that mindset and finally stopping this "incurable disease" that you have been fighting since you were 12?

Until the people who suffer from this "disease" finally use the existing cure which is cheap and effective, humans will turn from killing mosquitoes to killing thoughts by improving technologies. It is so useless to even develop a cure for a disease that has already a cure.

a) I would make a distinction between gauging learning and performing.

Let’s imagine that you want to learn about the most random thing that comes to my mind: Persian literature in the Middle Ages.

If you know nothing about it and you read a book about it (let’s say in 20 hours), after finishing the book you will have learned A LOT if you compare it to the initial stage.

Now, let’s imagine that after reading that book you compete at an international tournament against lifetime literature learners (and obsessed as us chess players). You end up in the last place of that competition by a wide margin.

Does that mean that you learned nothing about Persian literature in the Middle Ages?

Performance is not the best way to measure knowledge.

I’ve seen so titled players who seem to know very little, yet they find resources to win or save bad positions. And I’ve also seen some non-titled players who know A LOT about chess.

By the way, the way you played the ending in the video that you shared shows very good endgame understanding at certain points, yet the result is not related to that.

b) ”For some, it means 100 hours of improvement and 9,900 hours of hitting the same wall, no matter what different approach you use and feeling awful the majority of the time.”

Absolutely agree. I’d even go as far as saying that this is the case for most, it is not a bad thing, just a natural distribution.

@ppandachess @Sporegasm

There's been a LOT of amazing input on this forum. A lot to read, re-read, digest, and ponder.

I'm grateful for the amazing folks who have responded here. I'm going to take everything here to heart and hopefully in the next week or so, I'll be feeling back to my old self again. But I know I have a lot of work to do.

Once I get my YouTube channel up and running, I'll be sure to let y'all know.

Over the last few days I've come to recognize and accept the death of my ego as far as chess goes. I've underestimated the depth of this game and the hard work necessary to reach that depth. My approach and motivation will change as necessary and I will not hold myself back once I start.

I'm supposed to start therapy in the coming days and hopefully the work I put in there will bring me back to a place where I'm enjoying the game, regardless of the results. I'll keep my goals in mind, but no longer will I obsess over them. Time for a change. Back to basics.

Thanks again, everyone! You're all amazing people. Best vibes to you all, always! 🙏🙏🙏

Thanks to you for starting this discussion.

It helped create this very nice atmosphere where we support each other. Without you, none of this would have been possible. I would have probably never had your courage in your situation. This also speaks well about your ego, as you probably had to leave some of it aside to open up like this.

To all the others who provided constructive feedback, thanks a lot as well.

PS 1: I’d love to see your YouTube channel

PS 2: if this discussion keeps on growing, shall we make a book out of it? lol

When life gives you a lemon, crush it and go get yourself a six pack.