why can't I abort games

You would have to resign, basically the same thing, and then rematch. But if you abort your elo goes down both ways.

Chess is not just a game, it’s a silent conversation between two minds trying to outthink each other without ever speaking. Every move carries intention, every sacrifice hides a deeper idea, and every mistake whispers a lesson. What fascinates me most is how the board stays the same, yet every game feels completely different—because the real battlefield is not the 64 squares, but the mind behind the pieces. Sometimes you win and feel nothing, sometimes you lose and learn everything. That’s why I keep coming back to chess… not just to win, but to understand.

If you don’t have an abort option, that means your abort/abandon/disconnect rate, as a percentage of recently completed games, is too high. When that happens, you lose the ability to abort and have to wait between games.

You should rarely abort and shouldn’t abandon games

https://support.chess.com/en/articles/8598007-what-is-chess-com-s-sportsmanship-policy

Clearly written by AI and not in any way relevant to this topic. Nice.

Don't care about my elo going should have the option to abort a gane before a first move is made not made to play a game, i do not want to play

You will, if you don't do it too often. Aborts should be rarely used.

If you get to that state, your option is to play or resign. Any games that start as rated, will be rated, regardless of how the end, until you're no longer restricted.