Can chessable add this endgame? (Satire)

Black to move. Who wins here?

I was not able to find this endgame on any courses chess.com offers, so I have lost this endgame. D:

Black's best move is obviously Ke6, after which you play dxe6 (called the backwards pawn cursed checkmate). If they play any other move, they will be humiliated by anyone who saw that game, for every other move is a horrendous -3000 elo move, and they live their life in pain and agony.

n o p e .

Black's best move is Kxd3 Θg2, not only doing the *levi screams* KING SACRIFICE!!! but also strategically placing the duck on the King, consequently crushing him into a pulp. White's best move would then be to go Mf3+ to distract the King - ignoring the king sacrifice, though to no avail; as extreme emotional damage has been dealt to White. ;D

Guys im pretty sure you can't move the king into check

Guys I'm pretty sure this is a meme topic

Could you provide the details of the pieces and their arrangement? safeconow

The piece White just moved is a king + Knight.

The pawn with a pointy hat is a sergeant, and it's a pawn that can both move and capture both forward and diagonally.

The one with a 2-layered hat for Black, is an alfil rider. It moves like an alfil in Shatranj (Chaturanga), hops with exactly 2 space diagonally for each direction, but this movement is infinite.

Would Chessable be able to include this endgame? If it is a 300-move stalemate masterpiece called 'The Art of Doing Nothing', complete with arrows, infinite variations, and a deep dive into the psychology of watching pawns do virtually nothing. With a cheeky video lesson featuring dramatic pauses and coffee sips, the book is an instant bestseller. There is nothing better than an endgame that doubles as a bedtime story