You should embed the video link. The lecture on a 2017 London System game between Magnus Carlsen and Ben Finegold is probably already known to many people.
It would be nice to know who is giving the lecture. Is it you? You sound about 14. What is your rating?
I think you did an okay job for a beginning lecturer. You might have noted that the game was a rapid game, played in the Pro Chess League.
Finegold's own lecture on the game. Have you seen it?
You are pretty cheeky, suggesting improvements for Magnus.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=23Ij7-jGehc&t=146s